Pruning the Branches

 

 

 Recently, my grandson did some work for me on my lawn.  Besides helping with some weeding, he also pruned the rose bush in the picture above. Pruning the rose bush in the fall of the year is actually good for the bush and makes the bush more beautiful.   It also causes it to grow more beautiful roses in the spring of the year. 

Often things in creation teach spiritual truths.  Jesus taught us in John 15 that He is the true Vine, and the Father is the Gardener.  We are the branches  The Father cuts off any branch that bears no fruit.  Every branch that does bear fruit, however, He prunes, so that is will bear more fruit.  

One of the ways that the Father prunes us, the branches, is through times of testing and trials.  Trials forces us to cling more tightly to Jesus, the Vine, which causes us to grow spiritually and enables us to produce true and more beautiful spiritual fruit.  Again, this happens, as we cling to Him, remain in Him, love Him, and seek to obey Him.  Jesus said in John 15:8, "This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples."

If my rose bush was never pruned, it would eventually get out of control and lose it's beauty.  God's spiritual pruning in our lives is often not enjoyable, and it is often painful.  God's cutting away of undesirable things in our lives and helping us grow more beautiful spiritual fruit is a wonderful thing, however.

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Hope

As many of you know, some trials and challenges have hit heavily  in my life and in the life of my husband in the last months.  My husband has been first in an assisted living facility and now in a skilled nursing home since January of this year.

It is easy to become discouraged in times like these, but God promises us hope in times of trial, if we just latch on to the hope He promises.  This is not a wishful thinking type hope, but it is a hope which is sure and solid even in the midst of our fickle and wavering emotions.  The hope God offers is based on His sure character and sure promises.  His hope reminds me that that I need not be in a chronic state of anxiety or panic.  The Lord and His hope promises me that He will guide me step by step, and that things will work out according to God's perfect plan.  Hope tells me that life will never be easy, but the Lord has overcome the world.  God's purpose will be fulfilled in the world and in my life.  Hope tells me that the Lord has an eternal love for me.  His hope reminds me that the Lord is growing me in my character through the difficult trials. God's hope reminds me to focus on the unseen and not on the seen and also on what is still good in my life.  

I have a little plaque in my home which says "PRAY WAIT TRUST."  Lord, help me to pray and then wait for Your perfect timing by trusting in You and resting in Your Hope.   

Joy in the Midst of Heartaches

 

When our hearts are aching and circumstances around us are very difficult, is it possible to have joy?  For me personally, this past year or so has included some physical pain problems and also again some heartbreaking situations involving loved ones of mine.   If we properly understand the concept of joy, however, it truly is possible to have joy no matter what is transpiring in our lives. We can experience joy in the midst of heartbreak and right along side emotional and physical pain.  We need to remind ourselves that joy is not the same as happiness.  Happiness is based on perfect circumstances.  Joy is based on something much more profound.

Joy is only grounded in the Lord and not on our shifting and fickle emotions.  It is a gift of the Holy Spirit.  Yet we also need to be always pursuing it, because Satan's lies and our own emotions can so easily drag us down.  Personal heartaches and trials, loved one's illnesses and sorrows, and the conditions of the world around us can so easily discourage us.  We should feel sorrow and heartbreak over many things around us.  Yet our joy is found not in circumstances but in a Person, the Lord. Our joy is found in the character of the Lord.  He is always faithful and always loves His people with an eternal love.  He is also powerful to help us in our trials.

I remember in my younger years thinking that if I could just get through the next situation then everything would be good.  Yet there is always a new trial or challenge to face around the bend.  I remember the heartaches I felt while as his caregiver I watched my first husband slowly lose his battle against his neurological disease.  I remember the grief I felt when finally losing him in death.  I know the sadness I feel right now, as I watch my second husband decline.    Yet my God was and is always faithful, and He was and is always present.  The Lord is the definition of joy.  I need to remind myself that He is also the definition of joy in current struggles as well as past struggles.

Also it is important to remember that the more we grieve over our sins, the more joy we find as we turn to the Lord and realize all He has done for us.  Further, it is important to remember that as we experience heartaches and trials our capacity for joy increases.  These heartaches help us appreciate our remaining blessings.  These blessings for me can include something as simple as a beautiful flower or sunrise.  It can include helping others or laughter shared.  Heartaches themselves can be a blessing, because they help us see God sovereignly working in the midst of our trials and as a result of our trials.  This too adds joy to our lives.  It is a supernatural spiritual thing that only comes from the Holy Spirit.

I don't know about you, but sometimes I become so weary of the constant challenges and trials.  Yet without them I would not have to lean on the Lord so heavily.  Without them there would not be true joy.  Joy is a possession found only in the Lord.  Lord, help me always to remember that when I become discouraged.

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

 

(Following is a chapter from my book:  Dear Caregiver Reflections for Family Caregivers. My book was written and published after the death of my first husband, Wayne.  When I speak of my husband in this post I am refering to him.  This post details my experience with breast cancer  during the same appoximate time I was caring for him.)  

"Seeking to provide for my husband’s needs during my care-giving days could get emotionally heavy at times, but I feel my past experiences helped to prepare me somewhat for the care-giving challenges. One of these experiences actually coincided with the beginning stages of my care-giving days. That experience was my fight against breast cancer.

In July of 2007, about a year after my husband was diagnosed with his disease, I noticed a swelling in my right breast and under my arm. I was able to book an appointment with my physician’s assistant. She sent me for a mammogram and MRI the next day. A couple days later I received the devastating news that I did indeed have breast cancer and that the cancer had invaded my lymph nodes. The tumor in my breast was very large, and my doctor told me later that my lymph nodes were all gummed together.

A few days later I found myself at my oncologist’s office, and after a full body scan at the hospital I began chemo. I began chemo by the end of July of 2007. All together I had 8 chemo treatments in 3 week cycles, mastectomy surgery with all my lymph nodes under my arm removed, and 6 1/2 weeks of radiation daily. Side effects of chemo were fatigue, mild nausea sometimes, food tasting like cardboard, loss of all of my hair etc. Radiation caused some burning, but it was manageable. All treatment was completed in April of 2008!

During the time of my cancer treatments I had a host of people praying for me-even people across the ocean! We also had people from our church bringing in meals twice a week for a long time. I further had church people bringing me to all my chemo treatments and most of my radiation treatments. The medical people at my cancer care center were wonderful.

Cancer treatments would not be a time that I would want to go through again, but at the same time it was a time of blessing as well as hardship. It is hard to explain, but I became more free in my spirit and less concerned about other’s opinions as a result to this cancer experience. I experienced the love of other people, and most of all I experienced the love of my Lord and Savior in a new and fresh way. I learned dependence on the Lord God during those many months, and I grew in my faith. The Lord’s strength and His love to me demonstrated through others helped me through those months.

I still am miles away from having it altogether. Just perhaps, however, I will be able to face today and the days ahead with more of God’s strength, because of my cancer experience and my experiences with the heartaches of care-giving. The memory of those days will never go away. It has changed whom I am forever mostly for the good.

I know that there will always be problems in this life, but I am further certain that my Lord and Savior will be with me all through my life. I know He will give me the strength to handle anything I need to face in the future. Even in hard times God has promised to be with me and bless me and someday take me to live with Him eternally. Dear Christian caregiver, rest in Him."



(Look on the side of this home page for a link to the order page for my book on Amazon. The book is also available at Barnes and Noble and elsewhere online.  If you prefer a signed copy from me directly, just e-mail me at jesuschild674@gmail.com for specifics.)

Never Separated From His Love

Sometimes the future can seem so uncertain and fearful to a caregiver of a loved one with a terminal illness. As a caregiver for my first husband I remember having such fears.  I have similar emotions now with my second husband.  As children of God, however, we have victory in Christ Jesus, our Lord! We need to fear nothing, for the Lord is on our side! Nothing can separate us from the love of God! What an awesome thought, and what an awesome promise! In light of all this there can and should be overflowing joy in our hearts!

We are secure in Christ for time and for eternity. Sometimes we may feel as if everything is against us, but the Word of God teaches us that the great God of the universe is always for us and is always with us! (Romans 8:31-32) God proved His love for us by sending His only Son to die for our sins. Surely we can trust Him to provide us with everything we need for time and eternity. In the uncertainties of life Christians can rest in the Lord. They have the Lord God on their side, and they are victors in Him!

Nothing will happen to us that is not in God's plan for our lives, so we need not fear. Finally, Christ is always interceding for His children before God the Father! He is interceding for you dear Christian! He knows your heartaches, your challenges, and your fears; and He is praying for you! What a blessed promise!

In light of all this, what set of circumstances can ever separate you or I from the love of Christ, dear, Christian? (Romans 8:35a) The answer is that nothing can separate us from the love of Christ! No matter what hardships, trials or heartaches we may be experiencing in our lives at the moment, we are never separated from the love of Christ.

In fact, trials in our lives are part of God's plan and purpose for our lives to mold us to become more like Jesus in our character and attitudes. You and I are not separated from God’s love by any heartache. Rather the Lord is with us in a special way guiding and comforting us.

What is more Romans 8:37 teaches you that we are more than a conqueror! You and I become a conqueror through the trials by patiently enduring these trials and by being submissive to the Lord's will. We become more than a conqueror by using these experiences to grow in our love and service for the Lord.  God promises that He will bring ultimate victory and peace for us also.

Absolutely nothing will ever separate us from the love of God and the victory we have in the Lord Jesus Christ! (Romans 8:38-39) Praise the name of the Lord for our victory in Him!

"What am I Doing Here?"

 

As most of you know my husband lives in a skilled nursing home.  Sometimes when I visit him his wheelchair along with some other residents' chairs are sitting in the hallway near the nurse's station. Recently one of other residents asked different nursing home employees the same question several times.  Her question asked in confusion was, "What am I doing here?"  

As I observe the different residents I am stuck with the fact that the residents are so like the people outside the nursing home.  The residents are just more vulnerable and dependent on others than we are at this time in our lives.  How many of us have not asked or thought."What am I doing here?"  Life can get pretty overwhelming and confusing at times, and it is sometimes difficult to see the purpose for what is occurring in our lives.

A beautiful answer for what is our purpose in life can be found in an answer to a question in the Westminster Shorter Catechism.   A question there asks. "What is the chief end of man?"  The beautiful answer given is this:  "The chief end of man is to glorify God and enjoy Him forever."  So what are you and I doing here?  It should be to glorify and obey the Lord in both difficult times and in times when things are going smoothly according to our perspective  The second thing we should do is just enjoy the Lord, to love being in a relationship with Him, to rest in Him and to trust Him.  It is such a simple concept, but we so often needlessly make it so complicated.  

The other day during my devotions time I was so struck by a verse from Proverbs 20:24.   I posted the verse on Facebook.  The verse says, "A person's steps are directed by the Lord.  How then can anyone understand their own way?"  I take this to mean that God is in ultimate control of life.  Therefore I need to relax in His directing and timing. I asked for other people on Facebook to respond and give their understanding on this verse as well.  One person said, "Life is so complex and difficult to understand and seemingly  a mess in our understanding .  Thankfully God is sovereign over all.  He is in control and in that we can rest."

Yet another person said this, "First I see a strong statement on God' s care for us and after that a question.  And I think the question opens up to me that the closer we are to God, the better relationship we have with him, the better we can understand His plans and guidance in our lives."

Another person said, "The sovereignty of God is one of the most comforting doctrines of the church.  Yet another person added, "I needed to hear this and be reminded of God's love and care when life takes a big twist I don't want."  Thanks to all who gave such beautiful and insightful answers to the verse in Proverbs. 

On another note, at one point in time when the lady from the nursing home again asked the question, "What am I doing here?" someone answered, "Because your doctor and family want you to be here.  I had to almost chuckle at her response.  She said, "My doctor is crazy, and so are my family."  So often we are likewise confused about what God allows in our lives.  We do not always understand God's ways. Yet God is infininetly wiser than we are, and we can trust His directing and sovereignty in our lives.

  

Trusting the God of my "Whys?"

 

In the book of Job in the Old Testament we read about a godly man who lost everything he owned and all his children in a series of disasters.  As if that was not sufficient suffering, he was afflicted with a horrible disease.

Do you ever wonder, dear Christian, why God has allowed the illness of your loved one for whom you are caring? Have you ever wondered why you have to go through all the heartaches and challenges of caring for your ill or disabled loved one? Have you ever wondered why you, a child of God, have to endure these trials or perhaps other trials?

In the book of Job in the Old Testament, Job, began to ask these questions. God responded to Job in chapter 42. In effect God says, “Who are you to question My ways and My plans? Why should you question Me without knowledge, without understanding My wisdom? You have no right to question Me. Your knowledge is too limited to understand My ways. You do not have My power and wisdom.” Later Job said to God that he had spoken of things that were far beyond his understanding. These were things only God could understand, and Job repented of questioning God’s ways.

I do not understand why my first husband and now my second husband (although the diseases are different) were afflicted with devastating neurological diseases.  I do not know why I had to go through all the heartaches of being my first husband's caregiver and eventually losing him to death or why my second husband of only a little more than five years now needs to be confined to a skilled nursing home.  However, I must trust God that He knows what He was doing, no matter how difficult life became then and becomes now 

The Bible reminds us that we can trust in the Lord, for He has and never will forsake us. His ways are perfect even when we do not understand His ways. He is our shield, and we can take refuge in Him. I can trust in Him and not be afraid of what the future holds. Even in difficult times He is my strength and song.

I do know that I have been strengthened in my faith, and my relationship with the Lord is more precious than ever because of all that has happened to me. God has been my help and support through it all. I needed and still need to trust in Him alone. I don’t understand all God’s ways; but I do know He is a wise, faithful, and loving God. I do know that He is worthy of my trust.

Christian, you do not know what the future holds for you, but you do know that the Lord God holds your future. You may not understand His ways, but He asks you to trust Him. His ways are not always your ways, but He knows what He is doing in what He allows in your life. Rest in Him.

Google or God?

 

I follow a page on Facebook called "Walking Through Fire."  The page is managed and authored by Vaneetha Randal Risner.  Recently she posted something that really convicted me in my spirit.  She asked the question about where do we run when we are troubled by life's burdens.  Do we run to Google, or do do we run to God for peace?  Do we trust that God already has the plan and the situation in his control, or do we think we have to control and manage the situation?  

The truth of the matter is that more information that I might find on Google is not going to give me more peace about the difficult situations I am encountering in my life.  Resting in the Lord and trusting in Him is the only thing that can do that.  Seeking the Lord's presence is the only thing that can accomplish that goal.  Matthew 6:34 tells us that each day has enough trouble of its own, so why worry about tomorrow.  I think  we tend to think that if we have enough information we have some kind of control over the future.  Only the Lord has that kind of control, and He promises to be with us and guide us each step of the way.  Let's just rest in Him. 

Seeing Miracles or Messes?

It so easy to get bogged down with the messes of life that we no longer clearly see God's presence and His miracles.  Sometimes the struggles of life can wear us down physically, emotionally, and even spiritually.  In times like these we need to stay focused on the blessings, the daily miracles that are in our lives. We need to remember all the times the Lord has been with us in the past, and we need to trust that He will be with us in the days ahead.  We need to fix our eyes on the Lord and trust His promises to always be with us.

Lysa TerKeurst in her book entitled, Embraced 100 Devotions to Know God is Holding You Close wrote the following,, "I get so focused on the mess, I miss the miracles."  Later in that same devotional she prays this prayer to the Lord, "Please don't let the messes of life harden my heart and blind me to Your presence.  Instead of being so terrified in the midst of the mess, might I keep the picture of You, watching me, always watching me.  And might I find courage in the assurance that You will come to me with Your miraculous presence."

So may we also focus on the miraculous presence of the Lord in our lives; as we face life's trials, troubles, and messes.  May we exchange our negative emotions for "a crown of beauty," with "the oil of gladness," and a "garment of praise" (Isaiah 61:2-3).  Life is sometimes difficult, but focusing on the blessings and the wonderful presence of the Lord is the key to peace in the midst of it. 

August Birthday Blessings

 

August is traditionally the last month of summer.  It is also the month that I was born.  On August 24th seven seven years ago I came into the world around noon on a Sunday.  I had a lovely birthday this year with many Facebook greetings, texts, lovely "smail" cards, phone calls, and a special family party in the evening.

Ecclesiastes 2:3 says that there is a time to be born and a time to die.  We need to think of life as a terminal illness, and we need to realize how short it really is.  Life also has many sorrows and obstacles  I have seen that first hand with my first husband's death at age 65, and I am reminded of that again with my second husband now being on Hospice in a skilled nursing facility.  I see that also with my own bodily aches and pains.

For the child of God death and even pain is a blessing.  It is not natural.  It came, because sin entered the world.  Yet for the child of God pain can be a pathway to maturing in the faith and a more intimate relationship with the Lord.  Death is a just a pathway to heaven and the Lord's presence  Paul says in Philippians 1:21, "For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain."  

I believe we also need to live life with a thankful heart and live it with purpose and joy.  The older I get the more I realize that can really only be found in a relationship with the Lord.  We can enjoy temporal blessings, but they really only have meaning in the context of a relationship with the Lord and in the context of eternity.  

 

The Lord is Your Keeper

Psalm 121 is found in the Old Testament of the Bible.  It is a wonderful Psalm filled with promises of God's watchful care and keeping of us in all life's circumstances.  It is for you, dear child of God, no matter what trials, challenges or circumstances you are facing right now.

I would suggest reading Psalm 121 in a couple different translations.  Let it soak into your spirit.  Let it calm and assure you, as you pilgrim through this life. Then allow me to take great liberty in paraphrasing this wonderful Psalm below:

I  lift up my eyes to the hills-where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth, the one true God, the King of all creation.  He will not let your foot slip off His chosen path, no matter how difficult the circumstances you are now facing may be.   He guards your footsteps, and has the power and desire to help you. 

He who watches over you and keeps His people will neither slumber nor sleep.  The Lord watches over you and keeps you-the Lord is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day nor the moon by night.  He protects day and night.  There is total keeping of you at all times, in all places and in all things even when you sometimes do not always understand His ways.

The Lord will keep you from all harm.  You are always secure.  He will watch over and keep your life, and He preserves your soul.  The Lord will watch over you and keep you in His care in your coming and going both now and forevermore.

God Will See You Through

As most of you know, I was a caregiver for my first husband, Wayne.  I cared for him for four and a half years in our home after his diagnosis.  He had a serious neurological disease which made him more and more physically disabled.  As many of you also know, my second husband, Bob, also has a neurological disease.  His disease is different, however, in that it necessitates him being in a nursing home.  I was also younger at the time I was a caregiver for my first husband, so I used that method of caring for my husband at that time.

Recently I ran across a chapter from my book that I published in 2014 and wrote after my first husband's death.  I can identify with many of the emotions and sentiments that I felt at the time.  Perhaps, if you are a caregiver or not you can do likewise.  Below is that chapter from ny book,  Dear Caregiver Reflections for Family Caregivers. 

"Dear caregiver, do you weary of the constant changes in your loved one’s health? If one’s loved ones faces a disease from which there is a possible cure, one continues to hope for their recovery. It is difficult going through those days, but there is hope for better days ahead. When one’s loved one’s disease is incurable and the declines are persistent, one enters an even more difficult sphere. As a caregiver, I so remember dreading and sometimes fearing the next decline in my husband‘s health.Would I be able to handle his next decline physically and emotionally? 

In the book of Joshua in the Old Testament, God's Old Testament people (the Israelites) were about to enter the land that God had promised them many years before. To be able to enter this new land, however, a huge body or people needed to cross the Jordan River. It would take a miracle for God's people to safely cross the Jordan River, but our Lord God specializes in the impossible.

The officers of God's people told them that when they saw the ark of the covenant of the Lord their God and the Levites who were carrying the ark, they were to move out from their positions and follow the ark. Then they would know which way to go, since they had never been this way before (Joshua 3:b-4a).  The ark was a symbol of the Lord's presence among them. Only if God's people did this would they know which way to go and what to do next, for this was new and foreign territory to them.

As a caregiver, I too had never been that way before. I had never encountered a similar situation or been in the same place in my life. It was a scary place to be. So I also had to keep my eyes focused on the Lord, and I had to follow His leading. Each new day is a new day given to us by the hand of the Lord. When we awaken in the morning, we do not know what new experiences or circumstances we may face that day. This is especially true for family caregivers. 

Every day and moment of our lives is known and planned by the Lord, however. He knows and understands the joys and heartaches caregivers face today and in all the tomorrows which may lie ahead. Caregivers must trust that the Lord will safely lead them each and every day, as they keep their eyes focused on Him and follow Him. Before they crossed the Jordan River their leader, Joshua, told God’s Old Testament people to consecrate themselves; for the next day the Lord was going to do amazing things among them (Joshua 3:5). The Lord will do amazing things in our lives also, if we trust and follow Him.

In Joshua 3 the waters did not divide while God's people were still in camp or even as they were marching towards the Jordan River. Only when the leaders and people stepped out into the water in faith were God's people able to safely cross the Jordan River! (Joshua 3:15b-16a)  Dear Caregiver, you may sometimes feel hopeless and even desperate in your care-giving experience. At times like these, commit your needs and desperate situations to the Lord. Like God’s Old Testament people, step out in faith. Trust that the Lord will see you through the seemingly impossible Jordan Rivers of your life. The Lord has our lives in His control, and we can trust and follow His leading!"

You can find a copy of my book on Amazon here: https://www.amazon.com/DEAR-CAREGIVER-Reflections-Family-Caregivers-ebook/dp/B00JQFJJRA/ref=sr_1_1?crid=18WS7V5XMCEB6&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.74WAB8IUEKGIzFTuKNrBxg.0a99wgR1CK1_JPAsm1-K

Spiritual Vision

I am in the midst of surgeries to remove cataracts from my eyes.  I have one eye completed, and the other eye is scheduled for cataract surgery in a few days.  When I think about all of this, there are many spiritual lessons to be learned.  

There was blind man in the eighth chapter of the book of Mark in the New Testament of the Bible.  The first time Jesus laid his hands on the man's eyes, they were not completely healed.  The man could see, but he did not see clearly.  When Jesus laid His hands on the man a second time, the man "was restored, and he saw everything clearly." (verse 25)

When I had one cataract removed from my left eye and a new artificial lens inserted a few days ago, colors were brighter, and this was a first step to clearer vision.  However, I still have one more eye to go, some eye healing which must still occur, and glasses to be fitted in a few weeks for reading and other possible tweaks for my eyesight to be the best it can be.

So also my spiritual eyesight is in a state of fluctuation.  Sometimes when trials come or I don't always understand the Lord's workings, my spiritual vision may feel fuzzy.  That is when I need to focus on the Lord and trust Him.  I Corinthians 13:12 of the New Testament of the Bible says this of spiritual eyesight, "Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face.  Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known."

I don't always enjoy dealing with the eye drops and eye healing and fluctuations or do I deal with them with complete patience.  So I also need to patiently wait on the Lord and trust Him, as I walk through all of life's challenges.  I will not always see the reason for everything that happens in my life and in the world around me with clear spiritual vision, but one day when I see Jesus face to face; I will have perfectly clear spiritual vision.  I will also know and understand more completely.  In the meantime, I can rest in the fact that the Lord already knows me fully, and He knows me better than I know myself.

Five Years

Five years ago on Saturday, July 13th my husband, Bob, and I were married.  It was a joyous ocasion for the two of us.  We had both lost our first spouses to death, and now had found each other.  Forgive me, as I once again use this format to remember and ask for personal prayer requests.  

We were able to go on a mini vacation or two since the time of our wedding five years ago.  We visited Door County in northern Wisconsin on our honeymoon and then again in the fall of 2020.

One memorable vacation was to Mackinac Island.

Another memorable weekend trip was to Lacrosse, WI where we met up with my siblings.  My sister, Nancy, was fighting cancer at that time, and we all wanted to be together.   Sadly for us, my sister is no longer with us.  For her it is wonderful, as she is with Jesus.

However, the last couple years or so have been difficult, as we have seen Bob decline.  He was able to be home at first with some outside help.  Then he was in assisted living for about five months.  Now as I have written before, he is in a skilled nursing facility.  Continued prayers are appreciated for Bob, his daughters, and for me.

Below is a picture of Bob at the skilled care home taken a few days ago.  He was fairly alert that day.  Today when I visited him, he was more sleepy and not as coherent.

My life verse the last number of years has been, "Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you." (Hebrews 13:5)  Pray that I can continue to cling to that verse.

Sharing Heartaches

Last week when I went to church I was feeling sad about some of the events that were occurring in my life.  There had been some new declines in my husband's health, and he had been admitted into a skilled living facility a few days before.  I was struck by something else that Sunday morning, however.   I was struck by the fact that many others around me were also suffering heartaches. 

That morning I spoke with a man who had just lost his wife to death a few weeks before.  I noticed a couple in a pew near me who were experiencing cancer issues in the wife and were awaiting test results for the husband.  I chatted briefly with another woman whose husband is at the same facility as my husband and going through rehab after surgery.  It is easy to think one is alone, as one faces heartaches or trials.  It is easy to think that everyone around us are problem free, and we are the only ones facing challenges.

Yet the truth is that everyone is facing challenges of one degree or another.  Jesus said, "In this world you will have trouble."  He then goes on to say, however, "But take heart!  I have overcome the world." (John 16:33)  The Lord is with us each step of the way, and as Christians we can support each other by prayer and kind words of encouragement.  We can be there for that person who feels they are emotionally drowning in the life challenges they are facing.     

Recently I posted a video on Facebook that portrayed the heartaches many people around us may be experiencing.  I posted the link to that again below.  Perhaps if we knew what others were experiencing we would be more loving in our approach to them.  We would also pray for them more consistently.

https://www.facebook.com/PicsStats/videos/447028668722073?idorvanity=209753919160720

Processing and Need for Prayer

Philippians four is a beautiful chapter in the Bible.  We have discussed this chapter in the last couple posts.  Philippians chapter four and all of the book of Philippians speak of joy and contentment  based on our relationship with the Lord irregardless of outside circumstances. Believers have come to love this book because of the comfort it brings. 

Yet sometimes when life and its trials hit with what feels like extra vehemence, we have to dig deeper into God's Word, and we have to cling tighter to it's promises. Sometimes we have to just trust the Lord and rest in Him when there is not always an answer to all our "why?" questions.   Sometimes we need to also ask our fellow Christians to pray for us.

As I have told you before; my husband, Bob, moved to an assisted living facility in in early January.  He had to make another transition recently in June.  He is now living in a skilled nursing facility.  This has been particularly difficult especially since July 13 is our fifth wedding anniversary, and I keep seeing memories on Facebook of our upcoming wedding five years ago.  We were so happy and had such big dreams five years ago, since we both had lost our first spouses and had now found each other.  I don't fully understand God's plan in these new developments in our lives, but I do know who holds our future, and I do know who holds our hands.  I don't normally like to use my blog for  personal prayer requests, but I do ask today that you will pray for Bob and I and other family members.  Will you also pray for me, as I face cataract surgery in July, and my vision is becoming more compromised in the meantime?

  

  

 

The Joy Chapter, Philippians 4

 

(Last week we talked about a verse from Philippians 4.  It is such a beautiful chapter in the Bible that I am going to take the liberty to publish another post about that wonderful chapter of the Bible.)

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."  Philippians 4:6-7

We often think of Philippians chapter four as a chapter on joy.  In this chapter we also learn how we can have peace, a sense of security in Christ, and how we can "stand firm in the Lord" (Philippians 4:1b).  We are commanded in Philippians 4:4 to "Rejoice in the Lord always."  This verse is not only telling us we are able to have joy in Christ, but that we must rejoice in the Lord.  We are not to rejoice only on the days when everything is going smoothly, but we must also rejoice on the days which are difficult and full of trouble and challenges. True joy in the Lord does not depend on our circumstances but comes from the Lord.  Paul wrote the book of Philippians in prison.  He rejoiced in the Lord in spite of his trials and unpleasant circumstances.  He had joy because of His relationship with the Lord.  That must be our source of joy also.

Joy is first found in right praying.  Joy and peace are not found in counterproductive worry.  Worry accomplishes nothing except for depressing our spirit and in some cases causing physical ailments in our bodies.  When we begin to worry we need to immediately cast our worries and anxieties on the Lord in prayer.  We need to commit all our concerns to the Lord, and then leave them with the Lord.

It is so easy to pray to the Lord, and then walk away from prayer still worrying.  God commands us not to do that, but instead we are to leave all our worries in His hands.  Worry and trust do not go together.  When we bring our worries to the Lord we must also approach Him with a thankful heart.  We must not forget to thank Him for all His past and present blessings.  If we do that Philippians 4:7 says that "the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Joy and peace come from right praying, and they also come from right thinking.  In verse eight of chapter four of Philippians we are told to think of things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy.  Joy and peace further comes from right practice.  Philippians 4:9 says, "Whatever you have learned or received---put it into practice.  And the God or peace will be with you."  Obedience to God's Word always produces joy and peace.

Joy and peace come from right praying, right thinking, right acting, and finally from contentment in all circumstances.  We need to be content whatever our circumstances, and we need to be content wherever God has placed us in this life.  Paul was in in prison when he wrote the book of Philippians.  In spite of this fact, Paul wrote in Philippians 4:11b, "I have learned to be content  whatever the circumstances."  Can we say the same?

Surrendering to God's will and resting in Him is the only way to true joy and and peace.  We might think that this is easier said than done.  The truth is we can do nothing in ourselves.  Paul says in Philippians 4:13, however, "I can do everything through Him who gives me strength."  The Lord gives us the strength to rest all our worries in Him.  He gives us the strength to face all of life's problems.  Finally, the Lord promises to be with us and meet our needs.  Philippians 4:19 says, "And my God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus."  He has promised to meet all and not just some of our needs.  He has promised to meet all our needs out of His glorious and limitless riches.  What joy!  What peace!

Think About What is Lovely

 

I don't know about you, dear reader, but I find it so easy to slip into negative thoughts especially in the middle of an occasional sleepless night.   Philippians chapter four of the Bible tells us, however, to not be anxious about anything but in prayer with a thankful heart make our requests and concerns known to the Lord.  We are promised that if we do that, the Lord's overwhelming peace will be with us (verses six and seven).  It is so easy to get sidetracked by difficult circumstances instead of resting them with the Lord.  Yet these verses remind us that we need to bring our anxieties to the Lord and leave them there.  

The Lord also instructs us in Philippians chapter four verses eight and nine to think about things that are true, pure, commendable, and lovely.  If we do this we are promised His peace.  Recently I became bogged down by some unjust and unkind comments made to me by someone else, followed by some unkind actions a few days later.  My mind went over and over those words which had been carelessly spoken to me, as my mind can also go over and over an anxiety in my life and heart.  Yet the Lord tells us to leave that with the Lord.  God  tells us to instead think about what is true and pure and lovely, to think about His overflowing and unfailing love for us.

Bringing our anxieties to the Lord with a thankful heart. trusting Him to meet our every need, and corralling our thoughts to think thoughts which are lovely and beautiful is the secret to God's peace which we can find no place else.  Rest in Him, dear Reader.  He is worthy of our trust!

(If you missed my post last week of God being good and accomplishing good even in our trials you can click on this link:  https://christiancaregiving.blogspot.com/2024/05/in-all-things.html   )

In All Things

We often fail in being thankful for the wonderful blessings God gives us each day.  We tend to concentrate on the difficult moments and fail to see all the delightful moments and gifts He gives us each day.  Yet perhaps we need to take this a step further.  Perhaps we also need to thank the Lord for the difficult trials we encounter in our lives as well as the pleasant moments.  The Lord has been convicting me in the last months and years of the need to do that very thing.  

Romans 8:28 NIV says this, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him"  I know that if you are like me, you may have struggles with that verse from time to time.  What was good about my first husband, Wayne, suffering from a horrid disease which made him become more and more physically disabled and then finally die from it?  What was good about my younger sister dieing from cancer after a long struggle?  What is good about my present husband now having to live in an assisted living facility?

The reason we struggle with this verse is because our definition of the word, "good" is different than the Lord's definition of "good."  We think of "good" things as circumstances which are comfortable, pleasant, easy, and enjoyable.  God's definition of "good" is that which makes us more conformed to the image of the Son, that which makes us more like Jesus, and that which accomplishes the will of God.  Sometimes this can only happen through trials and challenging times.  When we feel the most weak we depend on the Lord the most, and then often His strength is shown in us for our good and to help others.  

Having said that, know that the Lord feels sorrow with us in our moments of grief and trouble.  He is always there to comfort us and help.  Someday He will also return on the clouds of glory; and we will be eternally with Him, free of all  heartaches, tears, and pain.  As the song says, "What a day that will be when My Jesus I shall see!"

(I recently posted a reel which talks about what we just discussed.  It is powerful.  If you missed it when I posted it, you can view it at the link below.)

  

https://www.facebook.com/reel/361379893582603

Choosing Gratitude

 

Some years ago I read a book by Nancy Leigh De Moss called Choosing Gratitude.  In one chapter she lists eight reasons for a grateful heart in spite of circumstances.  One reason is that gratitude is a matter of obedience.  It is commanded by God throughout His Word especially in the Psalms and New Testament Epistles.  Gratitude also draws us closer to God.  When we long for a greater sense of God's nearness or life's stresses pile up like they can, gratitude to the Lord is the gateway to His presence.

Gratitude is further the only sure path to peace.  Life difficulties can become overwhelming. Prayer is a good avenue of release, but it must be accompanied with gratitude (Philippians 4:6-7.) When gratitude combines with prayer and we open our eyes to God's blessings and mercies even in the midst of heartaches, peace follows. When we thank God even when we can't understand what He is doing in our lives, there is peace.

Gratitude is also a gauge to our heart.  It is often easy to be thankful for the obvious blessings.  It is less easy to be thankful for the more difficult and hard to understand blessings.  If one is thankful in all things, it shows a heart which believes that God is always faithful and good and can be trusted. Giving thanks in all things is not acquired in a moment.  It is the result of many choices to be thankful even in difficult moments.

Gratitude is the will of God.  Choosing it is more important than choices we make about any other of life's decisions.  All other life decisions pale in comparison to choosing gratitude.  Gratitude is proof of being filled with the Holy Spirit.  It is evidence that we are yielding to His control. Gratitude further reflects Jesus' heart.  Even the night before Jesus was put on the cross He showed gratitude to the Heavenly Father in His prayers at the Last Supper.  He gratefully and willingly submitted to the Father's will in spite of the horrors of the cross just before Him.

Finally, gratitude prepares us for heaven. Think of all the saints in heaven praising God before His throne.  My first husband, my sister, and other saints who have gone ahead of me to heaven are no longer suffering from disease or heartaches of any kind, but they are praising God before His throne right now!  I too can join in that praise by thanking and praising the Lord now.  Life is difficult at times.  I often find gratitude a difficult choice to make.  Yet in the measure that we walk with gratitude, peace will follow.  Resolve with me to to strive to walk that path.

Lessons Learned in Spring

 

Spring is a time of transistion.  It is a time when we tend to switch back and forth between warm sunny days and rainy colder days.  In 2010 we apparently were blessed with a particularly beautiful spring, however.  In late May of 2010, while still a caregiver for my first husband, Wayne, I wrote the following words:

“I always thought that I liked autumn the best of all the four seasons. This year, however, I am really enjoying spring. Our neighbors to the right of us have three fruit trees in their yard that have beautiful pink blossoms on them. We have a smaller fruit tree on our yard. People across the street also have a fruit tree with beautiful white blossoms on it. There is beauty all around me this spring. I am amazed at the beauty in God's creation." 

This year in 2024 I have been enjoying the tulips, as they have been exceptionally beautiful.  I look forward to the other spring flowers soon to bloom and to the roses which usually are abundant on our rose bush sometime in June.

Spring is also a time for dandelions, however. They are that pesky "flower" that likes to take over people's lawns. They are especially unattractive when they go to seed.  I think that is a perfect analogy for our lives.   Why is it that it is so much easier to concentrate on the dandelions instead of the awesomely beautiful spring flowers and trees?

Likewise, it is so easy to concentrate on the sorrows, difficulties, and frustrations of life. We sometimes forget to concentrate on the blessings and beauties all around us. Most mornings as part of my devotions I try to write down blessings for which I am thankful. That helps, but it is still easy to slip into the negative emotions, as one works one's way through the day.

"Lord, comfort me in my times of sorrow and frustration. Give me the perseverance of the dandelion which continues to flourish in spite of being mowed down and hated. Finally open my eyes to Your blessings, Lord; and make me truly thankful."

Life can be extremely challenging and discouraging. In spite of this, dear reader, try to look for the blessings in the midst of the sometimes chaos of life.  God often gives us the blessings of character building, growth in the faith, and the gift of His presence in a special way through the avenue of the challenges and trials of life. 

When my grandchildren were younger they would sometimes come to my house with fresh bouquets of dandelions. They did this because of their love for me. The dandelions which often are considered a weed and a nuisance by many, then became a blessing to me. In a similar way, the Lord can use the discouraging aspects of life to show His love to you, dear reader. Trust Him to use the difficult things in your life for ultimate good even when that is very difficult for you to see at times. 

Joyful Moments

Sometimes we get so weighed down by the difficult moments that we fail to keep our focus on the Lord and the glory that awaits us some day in Eternity.  The Lord at times also gives us moments of joy or an oasis of joy even here in our life on earth. For me many of these moments revolve around family and watching my grandchildren grow and mature especially spiritually.

I remember Christmases of years past when some years we as family were able to get together in spite of being miles apart.  I remember the joy of for a few years being able to tutor some of my grandchildren who were being home schooled at the time.  I remember being able to attend my granddaughter's high school graduation.  She lived 500 miles away, and for a little while it appeared that my ride to that graduation had fallen through.  I remember the honor of being asked by another granddaughter to critique her portfolio's for a college course that she was taking.  I remember seven years ago having my grandson from London who was only a few months old at the time in my home along with his mother for about six weeks. 

Almost five years ago all my grandchildren were present at my wedding to Bob, although they have grown and matured so much even since that day.  Then a few years ago they were together again minus my London grandchildren.  Here is a picture of them that weekend: 

There are many other memories that I could include, but I will conclude with two more pictures that are more recent.  One is of my grandson who made profession of faith in his church on April 28th.  The second on is of a granddaughter graduating from college on May 4th.

Lessons Learned From Cinderella?

I have a confession to make.  I enjoy Cinderella type stories.  Yet is the Cinderella story we all know a true picture of what love really entails?  In the story the prince falls in love with a beautiful magically transformed Cinderella.  Yet the real Cinderella was also a young lady who was being abused by her family.  She most likely wore ragged clothes and was covered in ash soot.  She may have had major self-esteem issues because of how she had been treated by her family.

It appears as if the prince accepted her, because when he found her in her lowly estate he married her and took her to the palace to live with him.  In order for initial love to survive the prince had to have committed love as well, however.  He had to love her more than he loved himself.  He had to love her in spite of her weaknesses and hang-ups.  He had to love her in sickness and in health.  He had to have a "until death due us part" love for her.

Many of my readers are showing that kind of committed love to the family member for whom they are caring be it spouse, parent, or other family member or even a friend.  This kind of love requires sacrifice and is not always Cinderella like glamorous.  It takes commitment no matter how difficult it gets.  Thank you, dear caregiver, for the love that you show in that way to your loved one.

Remember too, dear caregiver, the Lord, your true Prince, accepts you and loves you with all your weaknesses.  He loves you with a true committed love which we humans can only begin to mimic.  He also clothes you with His righteousness, if you are His child!

(If you missed last week's post on our real home, our eternal home; you can click on the following link to read that post:   https://christiancaregiving.blogspot.com/2024/04/our-real-home.html )

Our Real Home

 As many if not all of you know, my husband is now living in an assisted living facility.  This has been a difficult adjustment for him, so I ask you to pray for him.   Earlier in his stay at the facility there were many requests and sometimes demands on his part to go home.  When he said that he wanted to go home, he was referring to our condo in our small town.  As I think of this, however, I believe there is a desire in all of us to go home, to go to our real home, our eternal home.  

As I ponder this further, I wonder if this is not my husband's longing deep down in his spirit as well, to go home to his real home, to the place of no tears, no aging, no pain, and no heartache, to go to a place of rest and security free from the difficult issues of this life.  This world is not our real and lasting home.  We are merely on pilgrimage journeying to our eternal home.  The Lord Jesus is our Shepherd guiding us to our real and eternal home.  He provides abundant blessings and protection along the way.  Yet it is best, if we do not get too complacent or attached to this world, for we are just passing through.

 Personally, I sometimes weary of the pilgrimage.  When my husband and I married, less than five years ago, we both had big dreams.  We both had lost our first spouses to difficult diseases, and this seemed as if it was a chance for a beautiful second love for both of us.  Instead he is now living at a facility, and I have my own physical issues of osteoporosis, back pain, cataracts etc.   Yet God assures me that in addition to an eternal home promised to me, I can be certain that God had placed me exactly where He wants me to be at this time and place.  There is a purpose for where I am in my life.  There is a purpose for even the trials, if only to teach dependence on him.

So wherever you are in your life, dear reader, run your life race with vigor depending on the Lord. Be thankful for your blessings, but don't get too attached to this world.  Look forward with joy and hope to your real home in Eternity.  

Why is There Suffering in the World?

Why does God allow suffering in the lives of Christians?  Why are we living in an increasingly dangerous world of persecution and suffering?  Why is there suffering of any kind in this world? Why is there abuse of all kinds and hardships in our world? Why did your loved one become ill?  If God is a God of miracles, why doesn't God just fix things?

There are no easy answers to these questions.  We do know that sin entered this world when Adam and Eve, the first people, disobeyed God.  Hence, we no longer live in a perfect world.  It is now a world affected by sorrow and sickness.  Also people make bad choices sometimes which unfortunately affects other people as well.

On a personal level I do know God has used the difficult experiences in my life to teach me valuable lessons.  I am learning that I am not in control.  I am learning of the need to depend on the Lord, even though I still am prone to fret and try to solve things in my own strength.  I am learning of the need to seek God for Himself and not for what He can give me.  I have seen His faithfulness over and over.  Through trials I have grown and continue to grow in my love for the Lord. I have come to know not just in my head but in my heart in a deeper way the truths of His promises.  I often still get easily discouraged, but I know that feelings are not a measure of God's truths. Feelings do not negate God's promises to always be with me.

Jesus said we would face trials in this life.  He also said, however, that we can take heart, because He has overcome the world (John 16:33 in the New Testament of the Bible).  He has promised to always be with us and  to never leave or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5b in the New Testament).  We also have the assurance that someday all will be made right and perfect when He returns.

We just celebrated Easter a couple weeks ago.  Christ suffered unimaginable suffering, so we could be saved. Easter further assures us of His presence in our lives through the trials we suffer.  It proves His love for us.  We need no other proof of Christ's love, when we really contemplate what He did for us.  Rest in that, dear Reader.

Christmas Catcus Lessons

 As most of you most likely already know, the plant in the picture above is called a Christmas Cactus.  It was blooming for me around Christmas of last year.  In fact, if my memory is correct; I bought this plant around that time of year.  For several months, however, it has not bloomed at all.  The leaves were healthy and green, but there were no blossoms. 

Now I understand that the Christmas Cactus also sometimes blooms around Easter.  That is just what happened this year.  A few days before Easter it started to get blossoms on it, and then one day it produced the beautiful flower you see in the picture.

As a person who does not particularly have a green thumb, I was excited about this development and even posted it on my Facebook page.  Yet then I thought about the spiritual lessons from this.  When Jesus came to this earth as a baby in a manger that was a glorious day for mankind.  There was now the promise of new life for believers.  When Jesus died on the cross to pay for our sins and then rose again to prove that He had won over sin and death, however, that new life and blssoming of eternal hope was sealed and accomplished.

Through all those years between when Adam and Eve sinned until Jesus came to this earth to accomplish His work of salvation, God's people had to watch and wait for that day of salvation. In anticipation of that day Isaiah 35:1 says,"The desert and the parched land will be glad; the wilderness will rejoice and blossom."  Did God's people ever grow weary looking for that salvation to come?  Then one day it happened!  Some did not believe and accept Jesus, the Savior, and His salvation when it did come.  But for those who did accept that salvation it brought joy, new life, and blossoming in their lives!

Now some day Jesus will return to this earth a second time.  Only this time He will come back as a King of kings on the clouds of glory.  It took my plant a long time to blossom a second time.  So Jesus' second coming may seem like a long time in coming, but one day it too will happen!  You and I may become weary of the trials of this life, but Jesus is coming back to bring His children to Himself. As the song says, "What a day that will be when my Jesus I shall see"!