Sunday, January 28, 2018

Other Life Lessons Taught

(Below is another chapter from my book, Dear Caregiver Reflections for Family Caregivers.)

In my last meditation we talked about some of the life lessons taught by care-giving. There are so many lessons a caregiver can learn through his or her experience with care-giving that it can not be contained in just one entry, however. I am sure we could fill many pages talking about life lessons learned while being a caregiver.

Care-giving by its nature teaches what is important and what is not important. It teaches that frivolous material things are NOT important. Family and relationships ARE important. As a caregiver, I was also reminded that my treasures did not lie in earthly things but it heavenly things. My faith in my Lord God and my relationship with Him was and is alone of supreme value. Care-giving, because of its challenges and sometimes heartaches, further often tested my beliefs between what I said I believed and what I really believed in regards to my faith in my Lord.

Another important truth learned from care-giving is that God is good. Circumstances may be bad, but God is good. God is the very definition and essence of goodness. He proved that by sending His son on the cross. Thus, He can help and guide caregivers who are struggling to make their way through the maze of making impossible and confusing decisions about their loves one’s care. He can help caregivers who are struggling to keep emotional and spiritual equilibrium in the midst of the heartaches of seeing their loved ones decline in their health.

Care-giving further teaches that joy can coexist in the midst of the heartaches and grief that often accompany care-giving. This is because joy is not based on circumstances which are favorable or perfect. Rather it is based on a relationship with the Lord.

Finally, care-giving teaches that God is sovereign and in control. Nothing happens to a Christian caregiver (or his or her loved one) that is not filtered through God's love. This is true even in the heartbreaking events which often accompany care-giving.  When this truth is accepted, it a soft place to land when overwhelmed with care-giving difficulties or life’s difficulties in general.

Knowing I could trust that God loved me and was in control in the midst of the confusion and grief of  my husband's disease and eventual death made and continues to make all the difference in the world. Dear christian caregiver, never forget that the Lord loves you; and He is good. He is in control.

Here is the link to the order page for my book on Amazon:  It is also found at Barnes and Noble and elsewhere online.  Finally, you can contact me personally for a signed copy.  Email me for specifics at


Sunday, January 21, 2018

Valuable Lessons Taught

(This post is a chapter from my book, Dear Caregiver Reflections for Family Caregivers.)

Care-giving by its very nature, tends to teach valuable life lessons. In many ways, care-giving is a grief process for caregivers as they see their loved ones continue to decline. As a caregiver for my husband for over four and one half years I also found the care-giving experience to be a great teacher, however.

I think care-giving and its challenges teach us that God uses even the difficulties and heartbreak of care-giving for ultimate good. Care-giving (and life in general) is often difficult.  Yet we know that God does not waste our sorrows. When we think of Jesus on the cross we know that eternal life came from that death on the cross. From something as awful as Christ’s crucifixion came the best thing that could possibly happen, namely our salvation. So very good things come from very bad things. The cross illustrates that to us. In the same way, God brings ultimate good out of the heartbreak of care-giving. He uses care-giving to build our characters and draw us closer to Himself. God never wastes our sorrows.

I think care-giving also teaches us that life is always out of our control.  Hence, seeking self-sufficiency is a terrible place to be. Delusions of strength and self-sufficiency will, in fact, hurt us. Caregivers soon realize that the role of care-giving is too big for them in their own strength. Realizing their need for their dependence on the Lord is essential.  Acknowledging one’s weakness and dependence on the Lord is a good thing. It is a valuable lesson to learn. Care-giving often teaches that lesson.

For a variety of reasons sometimes others will let us down and not be there when we need them. The Lord, however, will never let us down or betray us.  He alone is the One to whom we can go and pour out our hearts, and also allow Him to speak to us. The Christian caregiver can speak to the Lord all through the day, at any moment. Care-giving and it’s difficulties allows the caregiver an opportunity to pray like never before.  I do not know what I would have done without the presence of the Lord in my life during those difficult care-giving years.  So care-giving teaches us the value of prayer

Finally, care-giving teaches the need for the promises of the Bible to sustain us. As a caregiver, I found that it was essential to try to begin every day in God’s Word. God’s Word contains so many awesome promises of His care, guidance, and presence. Hence, I found the promises of the Bible comforting and necessary in my duties as a caregiver. Care-giving is so very emotionally, physically, and spiritually draining. Without the promises of God’s Word I do not think I could have survived my care-giving days.

Dear Christian caregiver, read God’s Word.   Study it, meditate on it, memorize it, and internalize it. Christian caregiver, lean on the Lord and on His promises in the Bible; and trust that He will bring good out of the chaos of care-giving.

Here is the link to the order page for my book on Amazon:  It is also found at Barnes and Noble and elsewhere online.  Finally, you can contact me personally for a signed copy.  Email me for specifics at

Sunday, January 14, 2018

No New Post This Week

Because of illness I decided not to post a new post this week.  Hopefully my next blog post will appear again on or around January 21.  Use this time to reread some of the older entries.   May the Lord bless you for all that you do for your loved ones.


Sunday, January 7, 2018

The Peace of His Presence

As we enter yet a new year, the Lord desires that we hide ourselves in the peace that only He can give, in the peace of His presence.  We need to do this in in everything we do, be it in the quiet moments or when we face difficult challenges.  Caregivers, you must do this when you face the day to day duties of care-giving.  We all need to do this, as we walk the path God has assigned us.  As we do this remember the Lord's presence is in us and beside us.  He also walks in front of us and behind us.

Dear caregiver, I know the burdens of  care-giving at times can become heavy.  Life itself can become challenging at times.  We can walk with joy in our hearts, however, if we remember that the Lord is our burden-carrier. The Lord says in John 16:33 of the New Testament of the Bible that in this world we will have burdens and trouble, but He goes on to say, "But take heart!  I have overcome the world!"

I am no longer a family caregiver, but I do face the challenges of now being a widow.  I do face the challenges of life in general.  It is good to know that the Lord is with me and has already overcome the world!  2017 had some difficult challenges for me, but God never failed me.  He will not fail you either, dear caregiver.  Psalm 31:19 says, "How great is Your goodness which You have stored up for those who fear You." We don't need to fear outside circumstances.  We need to stand in fear and awe of the Lord and to hunger and thirst for His presence.  The psalmist in Psalm 63:7 of the Old Testament of the Bible says, "Because You are my help, I sing in the shadow of Your wings."

This is the pathway to peace no matter what the circumstances.  May we all endeavor to rest in that peace.  May we resolve to walk in His presence throughout this coming year.