Monday, August 13, 2012

Remember the Love

One day in August of 2010 a few months before my husband’s death and in the midst of the chaos of caregiving I was having a good day. The weather was beautiful and free of all the heat and humidity we had been experiencing. Secondly, my husband was having a good day, and he had experienced a good therapy session. Finally, I had just finished reading some letters that my husband, Wayne, and I had written to each other in 1970 and 1971 before we were married.

Wayne and I met and dated from April of 1970 to the end of the school year, and then we dated again in the next school year until our marriage on July 30, 1971 (I was a teacher then). I went home to my parent’s house during the summers. He also went to summer camp for the Army Reserves both summers. The first summer I also spent 6 weeks involved in a summer mission program, and the second summer I was at my parent’s home preparing for our wedding in my home town and state while he was getting things squared away in WI for our first home.

On that particular August day I was inspired to read our love letters which we had written to each other those two summers when we were separated while dating. It proved a real joy to me to reread those letters that day, and I found myself smiling often.

Those letters reminded me that the first summer Wayne was more sure of his feelings for me than I was for him. I knew I liked him, but I needed to be sure about love and marriage. The next summer when we were corresponding we were engaged, and both of us were sure of our love for each other. It was fun to reread about our young love.

I thought that rereading these old letters might make me feel a little sad thinking back to those days and comparing it with the life we were now living dealing with Wayne’s neurological condition. I guess it did a little. We had matured so much since those early days, however, and I was glad for that growth in maturity. I actually probably felt more sad about no longer being able to do some of the fun things we had done together during our “empty nest” years.

So reading those letters put a smile on my face that day. It reminded me of what was, and it reminded me of the beginning of our love. I love reading inspirational romance books (Christian romance books) as a way to relax. Reading these letters was a little like that except it was my story. That day I had a smile on my face.

Dear Christian caregiver, terminal disease can change a relationship with a caregiver and his or loved ones who are ill. Take time often to remember the love that was and still exists. It will lighten the load.


  1. Hi Sharon,
    I am a caregiver to my husband, Russ, who was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma six years ago. A few months ago the treatments he was on stopped working and he is so ill. It hurts me to see him going through all the chemo and meds and how they ravish his body. He feels like he is at the end of his journey. Please pray. Thanks Helene

  2. Helene, I am so sorry. I wish I could be there to give you a hug. I will pray for you. Keep looking to Jesus even in your "whys?".

  3. Hi Sharon - I just found your Blog and I am going to have to read every word, but it is going to take me awhile. My husband was diagnosed Feb 2011 with MSA, they thot it was PD for about 3 yrs. Looking back I believe his onset of symptoms was 7 yrs ago. I'm pretty sure we have about 1-2 yrs left given his progression. We just came home from gall bladder surgery last week and his after surgery care has been a real eye opener. Thank you for blogging It's very comforting to find someone who understands- Susan Pasini

  4. Susan, I am so sorry for your husband's diagnosis. I pray the Lord will give you strength and peace each day. I am glad you found my blog. I understand in many ways how difficult your journey is right now.

  5. "Take time often to remember the love that was and still exists. It will lighten the load." Oh Sharon, what precious words of encouragement from you these are! I am thinking of the love moments that are created today and those that have been tucked away in my heart from the past. These are treasures of comfort from the Lord. Thank you for all that you share in your blog.
    In His great love,

  6. Thank you, Judy, for your kind words. I am assuming you are a family caregiver. God bless you in all that you do!

  7. Yes, I am a family caregiver. My father is in the advanced stages of Parkinson's. God is helping me to learn to accept each day as it comes. He is building my faith and trust in His design and purposes for my father's life. This is not to say that there is not sadness because there are days that are so difficult. But, God is greater and is love is most precious. Nothing can separate us from His loving presence. And that is a promise that always comforts the heart. Thank you again Sharon for sharing how God has moved in your life through your own caregiving experiences. The Lord bless you!

  8. I've only made my way through acouple of your posts but already I have been comforted and blessed by them. Thank you for taking the time to reach out to the caregiver, I'm not so sure I could maintain a blog after his death, who knows? But I now have one that I can refer others to. I do know that I will be witnessing about my journey but I don't know what form it will take. I am currently writing about what God has been revealing to me along the way - the
    Again thank you for your wonderful and inspiring words of encouragement. This is a blog that will be a very improtant one for me in the coming months ahead.


  9. Helene, Judy, and Susan, I am so glad that this blog has been helpful to you. Knowing what it is like to be a caregiver it is now a passion of mine to help family caregivers. Sometimes it is painful for me to relive the memories, but it is also therapeutic. I will continue to pray for you ladies, as I ask you to pray for me. Sept. 2 will be 20 months since I lost my husband, and I still miss him.

  10. Thank you for your prayers Sharon. They are a blessing. I am praying for you. May God, out of the wellspring of His love, comfort you as you continue your ministry of comfort to others. I have marked Sept. 2...
    Grace and peace to you dear.

    2 Corinthians 1:3-5