(This post is another chapter from my book, Dear Caregiver Reflections for Family Caregivers.)
Dear Caregiver, the heartaches and difficulties of family care-giving can often be very over-whelming. This time in your life may very well be the most difficult trial that you have faced. It is so very physically, emotionally and spiritually draining to see one's love one deteriorate in his or her health and to know that one is very limited in what one can do to help that loved one.
Care-giving often teaches in a very vivid way that self-dependence does not work. It certainly made that truth very clear to me when I was a caregiver. Dear caregiver, God wants you to lean on Him. He want you to trust in Him and acknowledge Him. God wants you to have a heart that rests in His promises. He wants you to believe with absolute certainty that He will teach you and guide you every step of the way down your care-giving path.
Surrender to God's plan for your life right now, dear caregiver, even though it is a very difficult path and a path which you would never have chosen for yourself. Daily lean on and depend on God by relying on His promises in His Holy Word and by prayer. He is the answer and daily provides for you and your loved one's needs.
In fact, dear Christian caregiver, God is using the pressures and challenges of care-giving to produce in you a beautiful Christ-likeness. He is molding you into a precious vessel more suitable for His glory and use. In the process of doing this He is guiding you step by step, increasing your trust in Him, giving you His strength, and providing for you and your loved one in a way that is beyond what you think possible or are able to imagine (Ephesians 3:20). We do not always understand or even agree with God's ways, but we can trust them. We can also trust His love. He loved us enough to send His own Son for us. Can we not also trust Him to provide for us even in life's most challenging situations?
Dear caregiver, family care-giving is often a difficult road to travel. Yet God is leading you and is with you all the way. Lean on Him, dear caregiver.
Sunday, March 24, 2019
Sunday, March 17, 2019
God's Love and Power
Whom do we trust in times of uncertainty? It has been over eight years since my husband, Wayne, passed away from his devastating neurological illness. For four and a half years before that I saw Wayne deteriorate in his body step by step. Those years before and after his death were very difficult years. Sometimes they were years when it was easy to give into fear.
A few months ago I began dating a widower named Bob from my home town. Bob also cared for his wife with a serious neurological disease for a few years. We both know the commitment and love it takes to care for a spouse with a serious illness. Thank you, dear caregiver, for all that you do!
Almost three weeks ago Bob and I became engaged, and we will marry this summer. We are very happy and excited about that. Yet we will always have a love for caregivers and the people for whom they care. This is reflected in the volunteer work we do. We will also always remember and love our spouses for whom we both cared.
Bob and I consider our finding each other a true gift from God. We both went through some faith challenging days when caring for our spouses and then losing them. Yet God was with us during those days, and now has blessed us with each other. There is much to consider when remarrying, however. In spite of planning a small wedding, there are many details to consider for that. There are also issues with trying to combine two households of possessions. In addition to this, there are other extended family members whom we will always love and desire what is best for them. It is easy to become stressed or even fearful in walking this life's path.
Yet recently I ran across some Scripture verses in my devotions. These are verses which helped me in my care-giving days and beyond. They continue to bless me. I posted those verses with some comments that I recently made on Facebook below. I pray that they may be a blessing to you, dear caregiver, no matter what your fears or struggles. I pray that they may be a blessing to anyone who is reading this post.
"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
A few months ago I began dating a widower named Bob from my home town. Bob also cared for his wife with a serious neurological disease for a few years. We both know the commitment and love it takes to care for a spouse with a serious illness. Thank you, dear caregiver, for all that you do!
Almost three weeks ago Bob and I became engaged, and we will marry this summer. We are very happy and excited about that. Yet we will always have a love for caregivers and the people for whom they care. This is reflected in the volunteer work we do. We will also always remember and love our spouses for whom we both cared.
Bob and I consider our finding each other a true gift from God. We both went through some faith challenging days when caring for our spouses and then losing them. Yet God was with us during those days, and now has blessed us with each other. There is much to consider when remarrying, however. In spite of planning a small wedding, there are many details to consider for that. There are also issues with trying to combine two households of possessions. In addition to this, there are other extended family members whom we will always love and desire what is best for them. It is easy to become stressed or even fearful in walking this life's path.
Yet recently I ran across some Scripture verses in my devotions. These are verses which helped me in my care-giving days and beyond. They continue to bless me. I posted those verses with some comments that I recently made on Facebook below. I pray that they may be a blessing to you, dear caregiver, no matter what your fears or struggles. I pray that they may be a blessing to anyone who is reading this post.
"And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." (Ephesians 3:17-21)
"Be still and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10) Satan wants to devour and destroy, but the Lord God in His power and love is in control. "Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him; do not fret when---" (Psalm 37:7)
Sunday, March 10, 2019
The Prayer Helper for the Caregiver
(This post is yet another chapter from my book, Dear Caregiver Reflections for Family Caregivers.)
As we have said numerous times, care-giving for a loved one with a serious disease is one of life’s greatest challenges. Only those who have been or currently are family caregivers truly understand the emotional and physical difficulties associated with care-giving.
In the midst of care-giving responsibilities, it is important to focus on the Lord and to turn to Him in prayer. Sometimes in the overwhelming moments we do not know how to pray about our situations, however. At such times, the Holy Spirit helps us in our prayer life. Romans 8:26 promises us that the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. We often do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us in a way that words cannot express.
Have you ever tried to pray about your care-giving situation and felt so overwhelmed with some heartache that you did not know how to pray? Have you ever felt that you could not find the words to express in prayer the depths of your feelings and needs in your heart? God understands our weaknesses and has provided us a helper in our prayer lives. That helper is the Holy Spirit Himself!
The Holy Spirit prays in and through us. He also prays for us, especially during those times when we are too overwhelmed with heartache to find the right words to express our pain to the Lord in prayer. The Holy Spirit understands our sorrows and is our prayer helper. The Holy Spirit Himself pleads and intercedes for us before the Heavenly Father! The Holy Spirit is our perfect intercessor before the Heavenly Father, because He intercedes for God's people in accordance with God's will (Romans 8:27b).
Praise the Lord for His infinite blessings! He is our salvation. He is our source of strength, promise, and hope. He provides for every need in our lives for time and eternity. The Lord provides us the Holy Spirit to help us to live for the Lord and to help us in our weaknesses. Finally, the Lord even provides the Holy Spirit as our prayer helper and advocate! What a glorious God we serve! Praise His name!
As we have said numerous times, care-giving for a loved one with a serious disease is one of life’s greatest challenges. Only those who have been or currently are family caregivers truly understand the emotional and physical difficulties associated with care-giving.
In the midst of care-giving responsibilities, it is important to focus on the Lord and to turn to Him in prayer. Sometimes in the overwhelming moments we do not know how to pray about our situations, however. At such times, the Holy Spirit helps us in our prayer life. Romans 8:26 promises us that the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. We often do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us in a way that words cannot express.
Have you ever tried to pray about your care-giving situation and felt so overwhelmed with some heartache that you did not know how to pray? Have you ever felt that you could not find the words to express in prayer the depths of your feelings and needs in your heart? God understands our weaknesses and has provided us a helper in our prayer lives. That helper is the Holy Spirit Himself!
The Holy Spirit prays in and through us. He also prays for us, especially during those times when we are too overwhelmed with heartache to find the right words to express our pain to the Lord in prayer. The Holy Spirit understands our sorrows and is our prayer helper. The Holy Spirit Himself pleads and intercedes for us before the Heavenly Father! The Holy Spirit is our perfect intercessor before the Heavenly Father, because He intercedes for God's people in accordance with God's will (Romans 8:27b).
Praise the Lord for His infinite blessings! He is our salvation. He is our source of strength, promise, and hope. He provides for every need in our lives for time and eternity. The Lord provides us the Holy Spirit to help us to live for the Lord and to help us in our weaknesses. Finally, the Lord even provides the Holy Spirit as our prayer helper and advocate! What a glorious God we serve! Praise His name!
Sunday, March 3, 2019
God's Plan
I am well acquainted with the life story of a woman who was born on August 24, 1947. Her life has been a fairly simple life. She was born in IA of parents of humble means. She also lived in South Dakota and Minnesota as a child growing up. Her childhood was not marked with popularity or extraordinary talent. Sometimes childhood was difficult in fact. She was blessed, however, with parents who regularly took her to churches which were based on God's Word.
After graduating form college she moved to Wisconsin where she married her husband, Wayne, in 1971. Wayne and this woman loved each other very much. They raised three sons. There were financial struggles from time to time during the child rearing ears. Yet they clung to their God and to each other. These three sons eventually married and had children of their own. This was a blessing to the woman and her husband.
In 2006 this woman's husband was diagnosed with a devastating neurological illness. The next four and a half years were a struggle, as she watched her husband deteriorate step by step. In the meantime in 2007 she herself was diagnosed with breast cancer and went through eight months of treatment. This woman often felt as if she was too weak for the assignment of care-giving. She felt so inadequate for the task. She didn't understand why God had allowed it. Yet that was a good place to be, for it taught her that she needed to depend on the Lord. It taught her that strength could be found in the Lord alone.
Since her husband's death in very early 2011 this woman has had to learn many new lessons of dependence on the Lord. She has learned that the Lord has been with her all the way. She has learned that God has always had a plan for her life and has good plans for her future life. These may not be the plans she would have chosen, but this is the path that was given her to tread. It was a path that God wanted her to tread with joy even when the path was rugged and difficult at times.
During the course of the years since her husband's death her book, Dear Caregiver Reflections for Family Caregivers was also published in 2014. https://www.amazon.com/Dear-Caregiver-Sharon-Vander-Waal/dp/1629524263/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1482027543&sr=1-1&keywords=Dear+Caregiver This happened because of her passion to help and comfort family caregivers based on her own experiences.
An article about her life after care-giving was also published in Guideposts Magazine in 2015. https://www.guideposts.org/friends-and-family/caregiving/caregiver-burnout/the-gift-of-caregiver-respite She stands amazed how God used her story in this way and in other ways to help others. She knows it was all of Him, and not her, that this happened. She knows it was something God had planned for her before the world began. It was God's best plan for her life.
Then about five months ago after being a widow for nearly eight years she began dating a widower named Bob from her home town. He had read her book and had been blessed and helped by that book when he was a family caregiver for his wife. They also both volunteer at a place called, The Gathering Place, which is a wonderful social program meeting the needs of people with beginning to moderate dementia. In February of this year they were engaged and plan to marry in a few months. This beautiful love story of God turning weeping into joy is also part of God's plan for her.
This woman further knows that the Lord has an eternal home ready for her, but only after her work on earth is finished. She knows the Lord has ordained the number of days she will live on this earth (Psalm 139:16). She often still succumbs to fear, but she remembers that God has told her not to fear. Hence, she seeks to rest in the Lord and not fear the future. She remembers how much the Lord loves her and even delights in her. She remembers that God has said that He will never leave her or forsake her and that God is in her future.
Dear caregiver, I am sure by now you have guessed that the woman to whom I am referring in this post is the author of this post. Dear caregiver, the Lord is working in your life also. He is with you step by step. He is also in your future. Nothing happens, including the difficult moments, that are not filtered through His love. Trust your future to Him. Rest in Him.
After graduating form college she moved to Wisconsin where she married her husband, Wayne, in 1971. Wayne and this woman loved each other very much. They raised three sons. There were financial struggles from time to time during the child rearing ears. Yet they clung to their God and to each other. These three sons eventually married and had children of their own. This was a blessing to the woman and her husband.
In 2006 this woman's husband was diagnosed with a devastating neurological illness. The next four and a half years were a struggle, as she watched her husband deteriorate step by step. In the meantime in 2007 she herself was diagnosed with breast cancer and went through eight months of treatment. This woman often felt as if she was too weak for the assignment of care-giving. She felt so inadequate for the task. She didn't understand why God had allowed it. Yet that was a good place to be, for it taught her that she needed to depend on the Lord. It taught her that strength could be found in the Lord alone.
Since her husband's death in very early 2011 this woman has had to learn many new lessons of dependence on the Lord. She has learned that the Lord has been with her all the way. She has learned that God has always had a plan for her life and has good plans for her future life. These may not be the plans she would have chosen, but this is the path that was given her to tread. It was a path that God wanted her to tread with joy even when the path was rugged and difficult at times.
During the course of the years since her husband's death her book, Dear Caregiver Reflections for Family Caregivers was also published in 2014. https://www.amazon.com/Dear-Caregiver-Sharon-Vander-Waal/dp/1629524263/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1482027543&sr=1-1&keywords=Dear+Caregiver This happened because of her passion to help and comfort family caregivers based on her own experiences.
An article about her life after care-giving was also published in Guideposts Magazine in 2015. https://www.guideposts.org/friends-and-family/caregiving/caregiver-burnout/the-gift-of-caregiver-respite She stands amazed how God used her story in this way and in other ways to help others. She knows it was all of Him, and not her, that this happened. She knows it was something God had planned for her before the world began. It was God's best plan for her life.
Then about five months ago after being a widow for nearly eight years she began dating a widower named Bob from her home town. He had read her book and had been blessed and helped by that book when he was a family caregiver for his wife. They also both volunteer at a place called, The Gathering Place, which is a wonderful social program meeting the needs of people with beginning to moderate dementia. In February of this year they were engaged and plan to marry in a few months. This beautiful love story of God turning weeping into joy is also part of God's plan for her.
This woman further knows that the Lord has an eternal home ready for her, but only after her work on earth is finished. She knows the Lord has ordained the number of days she will live on this earth (Psalm 139:16). She often still succumbs to fear, but she remembers that God has told her not to fear. Hence, she seeks to rest in the Lord and not fear the future. She remembers how much the Lord loves her and even delights in her. She remembers that God has said that He will never leave her or forsake her and that God is in her future.
Dear caregiver, I am sure by now you have guessed that the woman to whom I am referring in this post is the author of this post. Dear caregiver, the Lord is working in your life also. He is with you step by step. He is also in your future. Nothing happens, including the difficult moments, that are not filtered through His love. Trust your future to Him. Rest in Him.
Sunday, February 24, 2019
Simply Trusting
This post is yet another chapter from my book, Dear Caregiver Reflections for Family Caregivers.)
The Lord God is the caregiver's refuge, source of guidance, and assurance in the difficult challenges of family care-giving. Care-giving is one of the most important avenues of service in the kingdom of God. It also can be a time of despair, discouragement, and bewilderment while making decisions concerning the next wisest step in dealing with the health of one's loved one for whom one is caring.
Every caregiver needs to ask the Lord to help and guide him or her through the difficult twists and turns of care-givng. This involves also TRUSTING that God will guide step by step through this process. God will not usually let the caregiver see far into the future, but the Lord has promised to lead step by step. He will always walk alongside the caregiver with His sustaining strength. He will be the caregiver's refuge each step of the way.
The caregiver needs to choose to rest in the Lord. A caregiver cannot control the circumstances of their loved one's disease, but they can control their response to the circumstances. That response has to be one of trust in the Lord. When one sees one's loved one deteriorating in health it is so easy to become discouraged and to become fearful, but the Lord is the source of hope. He has everything under His control. He is worthy of our trust.
There are times when the care-giving situation become increasingly desperate and hopeless. This can cause the caregiver to feel brokenhearted and want to give up. Remember, dear caregiver, the Lord is very near to you when you feel this way. God sees your overwhelming situation, and He hears your cry for help. He can and will bring you through this storm in your life. He will hear your every cry and meet your every need. You may not always understand God's ways with you and with your loved one; but He will never leave you or forsake you, dear caregiver.
The Lord may not heal your loved one on this earth, but the Lord will heal your loved one. As a child of God, even if your loved one's disease is not healed on this earth, your loved one will be completely healed in eternity. No matter what happens, the Lord will heal you too, dear Christian caregiver. He will heal you emotionally and spiritually and teach you valuable lessons about His love and faithfulness in the process. Trust in Him. Rest in Him.
Every caregiver needs to ask the Lord to help and guide him or her through the difficult twists and turns of care-givng. This involves also TRUSTING that God will guide step by step through this process. God will not usually let the caregiver see far into the future, but the Lord has promised to lead step by step. He will always walk alongside the caregiver with His sustaining strength. He will be the caregiver's refuge each step of the way.
The caregiver needs to choose to rest in the Lord. A caregiver cannot control the circumstances of their loved one's disease, but they can control their response to the circumstances. That response has to be one of trust in the Lord. When one sees one's loved one deteriorating in health it is so easy to become discouraged and to become fearful, but the Lord is the source of hope. He has everything under His control. He is worthy of our trust.
There are times when the care-giving situation become increasingly desperate and hopeless. This can cause the caregiver to feel brokenhearted and want to give up. Remember, dear caregiver, the Lord is very near to you when you feel this way. God sees your overwhelming situation, and He hears your cry for help. He can and will bring you through this storm in your life. He will hear your every cry and meet your every need. You may not always understand God's ways with you and with your loved one; but He will never leave you or forsake you, dear caregiver.
The Lord may not heal your loved one on this earth, but the Lord will heal your loved one. As a child of God, even if your loved one's disease is not healed on this earth, your loved one will be completely healed in eternity. No matter what happens, the Lord will heal you too, dear Christian caregiver. He will heal you emotionally and spiritually and teach you valuable lessons about His love and faithfulness in the process. Trust in Him. Rest in Him.
Sunday, February 17, 2019
Praise the Lord
(This is a chapter from my book, Dear Caregiver Reflections for Family Caregivers.)
Family caregivers often face overwhelming physical and emotional struggles, as they care for their loved ones. This is especially true if their loved ones have a terminal disease and are deteriorating in their health month by month and sometimes day by day. In many cases, caregivers' dreams for a beautiful future with their loved ones have been shattered. They also often feel weighed down with fears about the future.
Dear Christian caregiver, do not let Satan discourage you by his schemes at times like this. Satan is a liar, and he wants you to forget that you are a child of God with the power of God on your side. Satan wants you to forget that you have Christ's resurrection power in you to live for God and carry out your difficult care-giving role. Trust in the Lord. Rest in Him, dear caregiver.
One way caregivers (or anyone for that matter) can fight Satan's schemes to discourage us is to praise the Lord in the midst of difficulties. It seems to go so against our instincts to praise the Lord during difficult times, but thankfulness takes the sting out of trials and adversity. The chains of discouragement and despair drop behind us when we praise the Lord. I read somewhere recently that if we give thanks to God in spite of our feelings, He in turn gives us joy in spite of our circumstances. We sense God's presence when we are praising Him in a way that we can not do in any other way. It is said thanksgiving and praise in our hearts squeezes difficult circumstances until joy oozes out of it. Praise for the Lord gives us glimpses of Heaven, which in turn gives us further reasons to be thankful.
I still remember very vividly those care-giving days taking care of my husband with a rapidly deteriorating neurological disease. Those days were very difficult. This was especially true the last months of his life. It is hard to feel thankful and full of praise in such moments. God asks us to make a SACRIFICE of praise, however, even in those difficult moments. If we do this, we will find peace and joy as we are resting in Him. We may not always understand God's ways, but He does have everything under His control.
Praise the Lord in the midst of all the challenges and difficulties, dear caregiver. It will lift your load.
(I have a link posted below. It is a song from the Imperials and it is called Praise the Lord. I hope you will find it a blessing, dear caregiver.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Q-NVHP32L8&feature=share
Family caregivers often face overwhelming physical and emotional struggles, as they care for their loved ones. This is especially true if their loved ones have a terminal disease and are deteriorating in their health month by month and sometimes day by day. In many cases, caregivers' dreams for a beautiful future with their loved ones have been shattered. They also often feel weighed down with fears about the future.
Dear Christian caregiver, do not let Satan discourage you by his schemes at times like this. Satan is a liar, and he wants you to forget that you are a child of God with the power of God on your side. Satan wants you to forget that you have Christ's resurrection power in you to live for God and carry out your difficult care-giving role. Trust in the Lord. Rest in Him, dear caregiver.
One way caregivers (or anyone for that matter) can fight Satan's schemes to discourage us is to praise the Lord in the midst of difficulties. It seems to go so against our instincts to praise the Lord during difficult times, but thankfulness takes the sting out of trials and adversity. The chains of discouragement and despair drop behind us when we praise the Lord. I read somewhere recently that if we give thanks to God in spite of our feelings, He in turn gives us joy in spite of our circumstances. We sense God's presence when we are praising Him in a way that we can not do in any other way. It is said thanksgiving and praise in our hearts squeezes difficult circumstances until joy oozes out of it. Praise for the Lord gives us glimpses of Heaven, which in turn gives us further reasons to be thankful.
I still remember very vividly those care-giving days taking care of my husband with a rapidly deteriorating neurological disease. Those days were very difficult. This was especially true the last months of his life. It is hard to feel thankful and full of praise in such moments. God asks us to make a SACRIFICE of praise, however, even in those difficult moments. If we do this, we will find peace and joy as we are resting in Him. We may not always understand God's ways, but He does have everything under His control.
Praise the Lord in the midst of all the challenges and difficulties, dear caregiver. It will lift your load.
(I have a link posted below. It is a song from the Imperials and it is called Praise the Lord. I hope you will find it a blessing, dear caregiver.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Q-NVHP32L8&feature=share
Sunday, February 10, 2019
Our Divine Valentine
(Forgive me for once again republishing a post from the past in a slightly edited version. I think it is a message worth repeating again, as Thursday is Valentine's Day.)
Dear caregiver, do you ever feel the sorrow of things lost? Do you ever miss the way things were in the past with your loved one for whom you are caring? Does the approach of holidays such as Valentine's day make you feel melancholy and sad? Even though new love has entered my life, I remember those feelings.
During those moments of sadness remember that the Lord loves you with an infinite love. He in effect is your Divine Valentine. He is sufficient. He alone can give you all that you need. Below is a poem called Your Divine Valentine:
Your Divine Valentine
A Valentine may play a love song for you, but God sings you the sweetest love song in the universe. (Zephaniah 3:17)
A Valentine may give you flowers, but God sent you the most beautiful rose of all, Jesus.
(Song of Solomon 2:1)
A Valentine may bring you chocolate, but God provides you with something even sweeter, His Word. (Psalm 119:103)
A Valentine may love you for a lifetime,but God loved you before you were born and will love you for all eternity,
(Jeremiah 31:3)
Dear caregiver, do you ever feel the sorrow of things lost? Do you ever miss the way things were in the past with your loved one for whom you are caring? Does the approach of holidays such as Valentine's day make you feel melancholy and sad? Even though new love has entered my life, I remember those feelings.
During those moments of sadness remember that the Lord loves you with an infinite love. He in effect is your Divine Valentine. He is sufficient. He alone can give you all that you need. Below is a poem called Your Divine Valentine:
Your Divine Valentine
A Valentine may play a love song for you, but God sings you the sweetest love song in the universe. (Zephaniah 3:17)
A Valentine may give you flowers, but God sent you the most beautiful rose of all, Jesus.
(Song of Solomon 2:1)
A Valentine may bring you chocolate, but God provides you with something even sweeter, His Word. (Psalm 119:103)
A Valentine may love you for a lifetime,but God loved you before you were born and will love you for all eternity,
(Jeremiah 31:3)
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