The Potter

 

(This post is a chapter from my book, Dear Caregiver Refelctions for Family Caregivers.)

The Bible teaches us that the Lord God is the Potter in our lives, and we are the clay in His hands. He is in sovereign control of our lives, and He controls all the events of our lives. All the events of our lives are used to make us more like Jesus. God especially uses problems, difficulties, and trials in our lives to mold us into the kind of people who truly reflect the Lord Jesus. The Lord wants to bring us ever closer to the center of His will. This is also true about the difficult challenges and trials of family care-giving. Difficulties teach us to not rely on our own self-effort and devices. Difficult times in our lives teach us to rely and trust only on the Lord. This became abundantly clear to me when I was a caregiver for my husband. His disease was incurable. It was out of my control. The only recourse was to seek to rely and trust in the Lord.

Difficulties in our lives also help to remove the impurities of sin from our lives, and they help us to grow in our love relationship with the Lord. When spiritual impurities come into our lives the Lord God recreates and molds our lives to be more in tune with His will. Our prayer to God should be that He will make us into beautiful vessels of purpose for Him. When we fail and allow spiritual impurities into our lives, we need to pray that the Lord will take us back to His Potter’s wheel. We need to pray that the Lord will then reshape us and form us into something more beautiful for Him. From the broken fragments of our lives, the Lord can make us into beautiful vessels for Him!

From experience, I know the pressure of family care-giving can feel overwhelming and unbearable at times. We must not fight against or question the Lord’s molding of our lives, however. We need to pray that each touch of the Lord’s hand on our lives will help us to become whom He wants us to become. The Lord knows just the right amount of pressure to put on our lives. We must also remain thankful for how He has made us and thankful for how He is working and leading in our lives! We must persevere in our willingness to submit to the Lord's will. We must be submissive to the Lord even in trials and difficult times in our lives. The Lord has promised to be with us all the way.

Finally, we must also ask the Lord for the filling of the Holy Spirit’s power and the fruit of the Holy Spirit in our lives. We must yearn for the Lord to control our lives completely every hour and every day!  Dear caregiver, trust you life and your care-giving journey to the hand of the great Potter. He know what He is doing even when the path becomes very difficult.


Here is a link to song about God being the Potter and we being the clay in His hands:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bgXL3y9RIbI

Story Behind My Wall Photo

 

In late July I purchased this wall photo at a craft show.  It is now hanging in my home.  When I first entered the booth of the man selling his wall photos, I thought they were paintings.  His pictures which are scenes from nature all have that paintbrush sort of abstract look.  I soon found out they are photos beautifully mounted on a metal surface with a lovely hanger on the back. 

The story behind this photo and all this man's photos are amazing, however.  When young this man was exposed to a chemical which resulted in involuntary tremors.  For many years this was a source of frustration and even bitterness in various areas of his life.

The man was especially frustrated that he could not take a clear picture with his camera because of his tremors.  He asked his Lord many times, "Why?"  Finally the Lord told his spirit that he had been given a gift.  He consulted other artists, photographers, and designers.  They all thought his pictures were beautiful just as they are.  God uses what is outwardly a terrible disability to make something beautiful and wonderful.

In the same way God uses our weaknesses and make something wonderful and beautiful from them.  When the apostle Paul repeatedly asked God to remove some "thorn" in his life God said, "My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness."  Paul response was "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.---For when I am weak, then I am strong.  (II Corinthians 12 9-10 in the New Testament of the Bible.)  Beautiful things come from our weaknesses submitted to God, so He can fill us with His strength and beauty.

(P.S  The photographer is Ken Voigt, and his business is called Freedom INK of WI LLC, if you want to research his work some more.  He has not asked me to promote his work.  I just had to share this wonderful story.  

Caregiver PTSD?

 

Recently my new husband of two years, Bob, had what started out to be a viral head cold type illness and which developed into a bacterial infection resulting in an ER visit and being put on antibiotics.  Although that week or two of illness was not fun, it was nothing compared to my years of caring for my first husband, Wayne.

Yet those few days of caring for Bob brought back memories of those difficult years of care-giving for Wayne, my first husband.  I am glad I had the opportunity to care for Wayne, but those years definitely taxed my endurance.  I am happy for the way my faith and love for my Lord grew during those times.  Yet they were difficult days watching my husband deteriorate step by step before my eyes.  I am thrilled by how good things came from that care-giving experience like my book, my blog, and my testimony to others.  Yet those years of watching my husband deteriorate step by step and then pass away, I would prefer to not relive.  (The picture above shows one of Wayne's last weeks on earth when all his children and grandchildren happened to be together at our house for a holiday, and tucked him in bed for the night.  Yet many times I felt very alone in this care-giving job.)

So when Bob was sick for a few days some of those old emotions of anxiety, fear, sadness, loneliness, and hypervigilance resurfaced again.  Were these feelings a type of caregiver PTSD perhaps?  I think that is a distinct possibility.  When the negative emotions surface it is important that we take care of ourselves with enough exercise, sleep, and good food.  Because our disordered emotions come from sin's curse on the world and sometimes from within ourselves, however, we need something much more fundamental.  Even children of God vitally need the Holy Spirit's comfort, and we need to feed on the promises of God's Word.  Then we need to live our lives in trust and obedience to His Word even when our unreliable emotions tell us to do otherwise.      

So I spend each morning in a time with my Lord in reading Scripture, with devotion books, and prayer.  In this way I am continually reminded that God will never leave me or forsake me.  Verses like these verses in Psalm 94 assure me each morning:  "When I said, “My foot is slipping, Your love, O Lord, supported me. When anxiety was great within me, Your consolation brought joy to my soul---But the Lord has become my fortress and my God the rock in whom I take refuge."

I thank caregivers everywhere for what you do for your loved ones.  I understand your emotions.  So does the Lord.  Turn to Him for strength for each new day.  You also might find the following short three to four minute message from John Piper on fear that I ran across recently very helpful.  Just click on the following link to hear it:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HdLQZRYNhb0

August

A few days ago on August 24th it was my birthday.  The days surrounding  my birthday were not what my husband and I had planned, but it was still a good day. We had planned on the days surrounding my birthday to be involved in a trip to see the replica of the ark in Kentucky.  We also had planned to see the Creation Museum and go on a river cruise one evening. This did not happen, because Bob contracted some kind of virus head cold which developed into a more bacterial infection.  But antibiotics are finally slowly taking care of that, and he is doing at least some better again.  

Yet, as I said, in spite of not being able to leave on our planned trip; my birthday was a quiet but good  day.  I received many wonderful greetings on my birthday through Facebook messages and cards.  I also received some beautiful roses from my stepdaughters a couple days before my birthday.  (A picture of them is at the bottom of this post.)  I further received calls from all three of my sons and a birthday card from my husband the next day.  I am thankful for my Lord being with me and being faithful to me these 74 years in the valleys, mountaintop experiences, and in the in between times in my life.

I am reminded of another thing which happened seven years ago in August.  On that day my local newspaper published a story about my years as a caregiver for my first husband, Wayne.  That article talked about the struggles I experienced as a caregiver, but it also talked about how my faith helped me through that time in my life.  Finally, the newspaper article talked about my book to encourage family caregivers.  Here is the link to that newspaper article that was published seven years ago:  http://www.sheboyganpress.com/story/news/local/2014/08/26/caregiver/14628253/

I probably posted a link to that newspaper story seven years ago when it was just published, but I thought it was worth giving you the link to it again.  It gives a good rendering of my story (or rather the Lord's story) and portrays my passion to encourage family caregivers.

If you have not ordered my book, Dear Caregiver Reflections for Family Caregivers, yet, you might want to consider ordering it for yourself or for someone you love.  It contains over 100 short chapters or meditations to encourage family caregivers.  My story as a caregiver for my first husband, Wayne, is intertwined in the chapters as well.  Here is the link to the Amazon order page for my book:  https://www.amazon.com/Dear-Caregiver-Sharon-Vander-Waal/dp/1629524263/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1470784479&sr=1-1

It is also available elsewhere online as well.  Finally, you can get it directly from me by e-mailing me at jesuschild54@hotmail.com for specifics.

I know the challenges of family care-giving, dear caregiver, and I care about you.  Thank you for all that you do for your loved one!

(PS:  There will not be a new blog post once again next week.  I am sorry about that.  The next blog post should be on or around 11th or 12th of September.  Use this time to once again read some of my old posts by clicking on this link:  https://christiancaregiving.blogspot.com/   Finally, enjoy the picture of the roses my stepdaughters gave me for my birthday.)

God's Love Gifts

 

As we discussed last week, God primarily speaks to us through His Word, the Bible, and through prayer.  That is where we most often sense His presence and hear His voice.  We call that His special revelation to us.  God also speaks to us through creation, however.  Sometimes at my lowest points in life, I have been blessed by what I call God's "love gifts" to me in creation.  May you be blessed as well today, as I share with you a few of these love gifts.

(If you missed my blog post last week about the importance of God's special revelation through prayer and Bible reading, you can click on the following link.  I talk about my prayer bench there:  https://christiancaregiving.blogspot.com/2021/08/my-prayer-bench-and-gods-presence.html   

Also there will NOT be a new blog post next week.  Use next week, as a time to reread some old posts.https://christiancaregiving.blogspot.com/  The next post should be on or around August 28 or 29.)

My Prayer Bench and God's Presence

 

Spending time in the presence of the Lord is one of the most valuable and joyful activities in which we can engage.  I love Sundays when we can go to church, fellowship with other believers, sing in worship to God, and hear God's Word proclaimed.  Yet we can do that daily as well through personal devotions.

Psalm 84 is a beautiful Psalm which talks about a deep longing to spend time in God's presence.  The later part of verse two says, "---my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God."  Above is a picture of my prayer bench.  Inside are kept all my devotion books and notebooks.  I also have a gratitude journal or two stored there.  

Each morning I take out the materials I am going to use for the day and grab my Bible.  I like to get up early in the morning before my husband does and spend time in the Word of God and prayer.  In addition I  like to write in my gratitude journal.  I love looking out the window soaking in the wonders of God's creation and a new day, as I do this.  This is my way of being in the presence of God in a special way.

Nothing in this life truly and ultimately satisfies like a deep personal relationship with the Lord.  I really know of no other way to face each new day with its joys and  sometimes deep problems without first having spent time with the Lord.  This has always been important to me; but it became even more important to me during those years of caring for my first husband, my time of fighting breast cancer, and my years as a widow.  It still is vitally important to me in the new phase in my life; and as I grieve over certain family members' circumstances.  

The Psalmist says this to the Lord in Psalm 84:5-7, "Blessed are those whose strength is in You, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage.  As they pass through the Valley of Baca (valley of weepings, times of dryness and difficulty), they make it a place of springs---They go from strength to strength till each appears before God in Zion."  As I pilgrim through this life, I find this Scripture passage helpful and a blessing.  

I also find a host of other Scripture passages and promises a source of strength and blessing.  God had brought me through many valleys which required His strength and the assurance of His promise to be with me.  Being in God's Word each day helps me focus on the presence of the Lord and helps me walk with strength and even joy through this life until I reach my heavenly home.

Being in the service of the Lord and in His presence one day is better "than and thousand elsewhere" (Psalm 84:10).  This is because He is my light, my protection, my strength, and my joy.  Psalm 84:11 b promises me that "no good thing does He withhold"  from those who trust, love, and seek to obey Him.

All God's blessings and promises and His presence in my life become richer, as I spend time with Him each morning.  I thank God for that blessing in my life.  I thank Him for my prayer bench waiting for me in the quietness of each new morning.  

Will Not Slumber or Sleep

 

In my devotions recently I reread Psalm 121.  What a beautiful Psalm of assurance for the day to day struggles and for the major struggles.  Let the words of this Psalm wash over your spirit today, as I share it for this week's blog post.  Forgive me as I insert some word of commentary in parenthesis, as we go along.

"I will lift up my eyes to the hills-where does my help come from?  My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of Heaven and earth.  He will NOT let your foot slip-He who watches over you will neither slumber or sleep.  (He guards my footsteps.  He guards and keeps me and is never off guard or sleepy.)  The Lord watches over you (is your keeper)-The Lord is your shade at your right hand (is your spiritual refreshment through His presence); the sun will not harm you by day nor the moon by night (protects day and night).  The Lord will keep you (guard you) from all harm (evil)-He will watch over your life (preserve your body and soul); the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forever more."  

You and I often struggle with fear and anxiety, but the truth of the matter is that the Lord never takes His eyes off of us.  Even in the midst of life's toughest trials and struggles He is there protecting us.  He never promises us a life free from trials.  In fact, He says they will come.  He does promise to be with us in the middle of the trials, however, and to somehow in His mysterious ways use even trials for our ultimate good.  Our powerful, all-knowing, and loving God never loses sight of us or sleeps.  Therefore we can live with confident faith.