Blessings of August Past

Wednesday on August 24th it will be my birthday.  I am thankful for my Lord being with me and being faithful to me these 75 years in the valleys, mountaintop experiences, and in the in between times in my life.

I am reminded of another thing which happened eight years ago in August.  On that day my local newspaper published a story about my years as a caregiver for my first husband, Wayne.  That article talked about the struggles I experienced as a caregiver, but it also talked about how my faith helped me through that time in my life.  Finally, the newspaper article talked about my book to encourage family caregivers.  Here is the link to that newspaper article that was published eight years ago:  http://www.sheboyganpress.com/story/news/local/2014/08/26/caregiver/14628253/

I probably posted a link to that newspaper story eight years ago when it was just published, but I thought it was worth giving you the link to it again.  It gives a good rendering of my story (or rather the Lord's story) and portrays my passion to encourage family caregivers.

If you have not ordered my book, Dear Caregiver Reflections for Family Caregivers, yet, you might want to consider ordering it for yourself or for someone you love.  It contains over 100 short chapters or meditations to encourage family caregivers.  My story is intertwined in the chapters as well.  Here is the link to the Amazon order page for my book:  https://www.amazon.com/Dear-Caregiver-Sharon-Vander-Waal/dp/1629524263/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1470784479&sr=1-1

It is also available elsewhere online as well.  Finally, you can get it directly from me by e-mailing me at jesuschild54@hotmail.com for specifics.

I know the challenges of family care-giving, dear caregiver, and I care about you.  Thank you for all that you do for your loved one!

He Identifies With Us

Jesus wept.  His friend, Lazarus, had died, and the shortest verse of the Bible says, "Jesus wept."  (John 11:35). Jesus knew that He was going to raise Lazarus from the dead.  Why then did He weep?  It may have been partly, because of the unbelief of the people.  I think it was also because Jesus was identifying with the grief of Mary and Martha, the sisters of Lazarus.  He felt and cared about their hurt.  He was perhaps also distressed that we experience things like sin, sickness, and death in this world.

Dane Ortlund says in his book, Gentle and Lowly, that the Lord Jesus is our intercessor and advocate.  He shares with us in our actual experiences, be they grief or joy.  He actually feels what we feels.  He weeps with us when we weep. He is also right beside us.  For those of us who are His children there is a solidarity between Him and us.  He defends our cause before the Father, be it sin or distress.  He can do this based on His own suffering and death.

When we understand all this, why do we still feel the need to self-advocate?  Why worry or fret?  Why not just run to the Lord with our heartaches?  We can always trust that He is with us and will never forsake us no matter how deep the trial.

Serving Where God Plants Us

Recently, God reminded me in my devotions of the need to be willing to serve where God plants or sends me.  This willingness can only come when I see my own unworthiness and sin and from seeing how much Christ went through on the cross to forgive me. It also comes from a humble heart and thankful heart and from seeing God's glory.  Where God places me may not always be to my liking and may involve sacrifice and even heartache at times.  It may mean working through my fears about what God has assigned me and trusting Him once again.  

The same is true for you, dear reader, be you a family caregiver or be you ill yourself with a serious illness.  It is also true if God is calling you to another difficult assignment.   Calling from God does not always mean being a pastor or missionary.  It may mean being His faithful servant in the day to day of life's pathways and trials which sometimes involves heartache and sacrifices but also joy in the Lord.

God has been with me in the past in what He has asked me to do and in where He has placed me in life.  He has done the same for you, dear Reader.  He will be with us in our future assignments and trials as well.   In July seven years ago, I had an interview about my caregiving years with Wayne, my first husband, and then my loss of him to death.  The following October an article appeared in Guideposts concerning that.  This is the link to the article:  https://www.guideposts.org/caregiving/hope-and-inspiration/stories-of-hope-for-caregivers/the-gift-of-caregiver-respite?fbclid=IwAR1T32aM7wsnReUG7otknamCb0dJWXtijAzfRHPxfgWCAR8PL0fiudPRpjc

Caregiver Tips

 

In my last blog post we discussed how stressful family care-giving can become.  It can affect the caregiver physically, emotionally and mentally.  If you did not read that last blog post and would like to read it now, click on the link below.  

https://christiancaregiving.blogspot.com/2022/07/caregiver-stress.html

In this week's blog post we are going to suggest some valuable tips for managing family caregiver stress.  These tips are  suggested by the Caring Bridge site online.  Since stress is often very real for a family caregiver, the caregiver often feels frustrated and exhausted.  Hopefully, these tips will be helpful.

These tips include eating right, getting enough sleep, and exercising.  These three things are so basic, but they are easy to neglect when taking care of someone else.  They are necessary to the well-being of both the caregiver and the person who needs care, however.  A caregiver cannot take care of someone else, if she or he is not taking care of herself or himself.

Other tips include completing small tasks one at a time to regain a sense of control when life become chaotic, taking quiet time for oneself, having a healthy dose of laughter and spending quality time with others whenever possible.  At the same time a caregiver need to know how to say, "no." to requests and outside responsibilities.  Family caregivers have enough on their plate.  They do not need to add other responsibilities to their "to do" list.

Family caregivers can further benefit from journaling.  When I was caring for my first husband I benefitted much from journaling and writing down my feelings as part of a support group online.  Also engaging in activities once enjoyed and finding relaxing things to do is so helpful to a family caregiver.  Even doing something like coloring has been found to be beneficial in calming stress.   (Yes, there are adult coloring books available out there for adults!)  It is so vital for a caregiver to not neglect his or her own medical needs as well and to also know when to ask for and accept help.  Caregivers need to take care of themselves in order to take care of others effectively!

Finally, a caregiver needs to take time for prayer, reading Scripture, and developing a relationship of dependence on the Lord,  This is the most important thing a family caregiver can do.  This is true not only for family caregivers but for all of us. We need to trust in the Lord, and leave our burdens at His feet.  We need to take one step at a time, trusting the Lord to lead us through the difficult and stressful moments.

Here are some caregiver assistance groups suggested by Caring Bridge:

AARP (1-888) 687-2277

Family Caregiver Alliance (1-800) 445-8106

Caregiver.com (954) 893-0550

Caregiver Action Network (202) 454 3970

Rosalyn Carter Institute for Caregiving (229) 928-1234

Well Spouse Association (1-800) 838-0879

Caregiver Stress

 

Family care-giving can be one of the most stressful jobs possible.  It is often life changing in its dimension and demands.  As a caregiver in my volunteer job, I know there are huge rewards gained in giving oneself in the care for others.  This can be true for family caregivers as well.  The difference for family caregivers, however, is that they are sometimes with their family members 24/7.  There are also many over-layers and deep personal connections with the person for whom they are caring as a family caregiver.  This causes emotional and physical stress which has the potential to cause health problems down the road for the caregiver.

Caring Bridge is a wonderful site online which allows people with health issues to write about their health issues in order to keep a number of people updated as to what is currently transpiring in their changing health situation.  My sister, who has been fighting cancer, uses that site regularly.  Recently for some reason I was offered a free e-book from the organization which established the Caring Bridge site,  The e-book notes signs of  family caregiver stress and tips for handling the stress.  I plan to share some of these signs of caregiver stress with you on my blog post this week.  In another post I will list ways they suggest to cope with caregiver stress.

Physical signs they list which could suggest caregiver stress overload include constant fatigue, frequent headaches or other bodily aches.  It could also involve rapid weight loss or gain or abuse of medications.  Emotional signs of too much caregiver stress can include such things as moodiness, irritation, anger, hopelessness, and sadness.  Sometimes family caregivers also lose interest in previously enjoyed activities and hobbies and feel lonely and isolated from other people.  

The long term effects of family care-giving can further cause mental issues such as short-term memory loss, anxiety, and depression which can weaken the immune system and increase the risk for chronic disease in the caregiver.  Besides the constant need for alertness and being on task in the role of being a family caregiver, caregiver stress is often complicated by financial strain, relationship role changes brought about by the illness of a family member, and the lack of rest for the caregiver.

As I said previously in this post, I will share some practical tips for dealing with caregiver stress suggested by the Caring Bridge e-book in an upcoming blog post.  Today let me end with a Bible verse going through my mind, as I write this post.  Jesus says to you and I in Matthew 11:28-30 in the New Testament of the Bible, "Come to Me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."  

Life is difficult.  Family care-giving is difficult.  Yet in the measure we can give the worries and anxieties to the Lord, not fret, and yoke ourselves to Him; the burdens are eased.  The Lord wants us to leave our anxieties with Him and rest in Him.  Then our burdens become lighter.  He is carrying the heavy load for us.  He knows what He is doing.  We just have to trust Him.

Broken So We Glow

 

Sometimes we have to be broken by care-giving challenges, sickness, or a host of other possible trials in order to glow like the broken heart above in the picture.  Recently a Facebook friend posted something on her status.  I thought it was pretty profound.  I decided to post it here on my blog.  You will find it below.  I believe it speaks for itself.  

Broken!

I was in Dollar Tree last night, and there was a lady and two kids behind me in the LONG line. One was a big kid, and the other one was a toddler. The bigger one had a pack of glow sticks, and the toddler was screaming for them. The Mom opened the pack and gave him one which stopped his tears. He walked around with it smiling; but then the bigger boy took it, and the toddler started screaming again. Just as the Mom was about to fuss, the older child bent the glow stick and handed it back to the toddler. As we walked outside at the same time, the toddler noticed that the stick was now glowing; and his brother said, "I had to break it so that you could get the full effect from it."

I almost ran, because l could hear God saying to me, "I had to break you to show you why I created you. You had to go through it so you could fulfill your purpose."

That precious child was happy just swinging that "unbroken" glow stick around in the air, because he didn't understand what it was created to do - which was "glow".

There are some people who will be content just "being," but some of us are chosen... we have to be "broken."

We have to get sick.

We have to lose a job.

We go through a divorce.

We have to bury our spouse, parents, best friend, or our child...

In those moments of desperation, We were broken. But... when the breaking is done, then we will be able to see the reason for which we were created. So when you see us glowing, just know that we have been broken

Copied and Pasted!

Copied from Robert Wilson

Freedom

 

July 4th is Independence Day in the United States.  It is the birthday of our country, and it represents freedom.  I am thankful for the freedom of speech and worship that I have as a United States citizen.  What is even more important, however, is my freedom in Christ that I experience as His child.

Freedom in Christ includes freedom from the penalty and power of our sins.

Freedom in Christ includes freedom from fear in spite of adverse circumstances.

Freedom in Christ is freedom from self and selfish willful ways when we are trusting in the Lord.

Freedom in Christ involves joyful service to others.

Freedom in Christ involves knowing the truth of God's Word which sets one free.

Freedom in Christ means serving the Lord.

Freedom in Christ means I can come to Him anytime with my needs.

Freedom in Christ means the ability to live in a joyful relationship with the Lord.   

Psalm 18:19 says,  "He brought me out into a spacious place; He rescued me because He delighted in me."   What a wonderful freedom we find in the Lord!  Praise Him name for that!