Joy or Despair?

Our attitude when we go through difficult times can influence whether we approach those times with joy or despair,  When I was going through cancer and care-giving for my first husband at the same time some years ago, I read the following in a devotional:  "Cancer is the little "c."  Christ is the big "C." I could also have said, "Care-giving for a terminal and constantly declining husband is the little "c."  Christ is the big "C."

I think we can apply that to anything in our life.  Grief is the little "g," while God is the big G."  Loneliness is the little "l," while our loving Lord is the big "L." Political unrest is the little "p."  Powerfulness of the living God is the big "P."  An unstable family member is the little "u."  The unchanging nature of God is the big "U."  Tests or trials of any kind are the little "t," while our Triune God-Father, Son, and Holy Spirit-is the big "T."  Can you think of any other trial in your life or in someone else's life who is dear to you to which you could apply this?

Someday when Jesus returns, all trials and hardships will be over.  Revelation 21:4 says, "He will wipe every tear from their eyes.  There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."  What a blessed promise and hope!  

Meanwhile I would like to share some words I have in a picture frame on my computer desk.  This is what is says, "I want to be in love with Jesus to the point of complete contentment, to serve Him with joy in every aspect of life.  I want to live with an anticipation of the joy to come when there is no more suffering, no more loss, no more heartache."

Below is a link to David Phelps singing, "No More Night."  May you find the song to be a blessing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4iPIi7sunEU

Eternity Talk Revisted

In the last blog post, we talked about death and eternity.  In that post I talked about the death of my own Mom four years ago.  My husband, Bob, and I also experienced the death of our first spouses.  We grieve the loss of loved ones.  Yet for the true child of God, death is only a gateway into the presence of God and a life free from crying, sadness, and pain.  Revelation 21 in the Bible talks about this.  

To experience the wonder of Eternity ahead, we need to be in a relationship with the Lord now, however.  Easter is coming up in a few weeks when we remember Jesus' death to pay for our sins and His resurrection.  To really experience His forgiveness and a sweet personal relationship with Him now and throughout Eternity, we need to turn from our own ways, ask for forgiveness, and walk with Him. 

Such a relationship with the Lord is not always easy.  We still face heartaches and trials.  Bob and I faced that, as we saw our first spouses deteriorate physically step by step before our eyes.  We sometimes still face heartaches, as we see loved ones struggle and in our own struggles.  Yet the Lord promises us to always be with us step by step.  He promises never to leave us or forsake us.  

In this kind of relationship  with the Lord even hardships become a blessing, because they draw us closer to Him.  They make our relationship with Him sweeter and more precious.  We can find rest in Him.  In fact, rest is found nowhere else but in Him.  He is sufficient.  Psalm 36:8-9 says this of our blessings in a relationship with the Lord, "They feast on the abundance of Your house; You give them drink from Your river of delights.  For with You is the fountain of life; in Your light we see light." 

Yet some day life on this earth will be finished.  Life on this earth is very brief.  For a child of God, Eternity is a wonderful thing.  My husband, Bob, often tells a story of his first wife.  When she learned she had a terminal illness, she said, "I am going to see Jesus!"  May this be all of our testimonies.

Four Years Ago and Eternity

This past Thursday on March fourth it was four years ago since my Mom passed away.  This was a few days after having suffered a severe stroke.  I was with my Mom the last few minutes of her life.  It was a sad but wonderful experience.  That day it felt like I was given the honor of ushering my Mom into Heaven.

A few days after my Mom's death four years ago I wrote about my experiences the day of her death and the days following in my weekly blog post.  In that blog post I  talked about eternity and also care-giving for a loved one.   Bear with me as I bring back today the words and sentiments of that blog post . Below is what I wrote four years ago.  It is addressed to family caregivers for whom this blog was originally started.  Yet I hope it a blessing to others as well :

"My Mom passed into eternity a few days ago on Saturday, March 4.  One might think this has nothing to do with family caregivers.  Yet really all of life is about eternity.  This life is merely a preparation for eternity. All the struggles the loved one for whom you are caring is enduring and all the struggles you also endure will be nothing when you begin experiencing the glories of Eternity some day.  In that future day you will experience these glories which are beyond our ability to fully comprehend now, if you are the Lord's child. Therefore II Corinthians 4:18 reminds us to fix our eyes on the Lord and on what is yet unseen and not on the temporary and on what our eyes can see now.

Will you then indulge me, as I share a little of my experiences of these recent past days?  As of Thursday I am home again in WI back from my trip to MN.  I was physically and emotionally tired upon arriving home and still am in many ways.  Yet my experiences while away from home though sad were also rich and sweet. Saturday morning, March 4, I was the only one of my siblings with my Mom at the moment.  I had the privilege of talking to my Mom, singing songs to her, and reading Scripture to her.  There was no outward response, but I believe she heard me.  Very shortly after she passed into Glory.  I marvel at God's timing in this in so many ways.  I will always consider it a special gift.

Visitation night on the following Tuesday and the funeral day on Wednesday were also special moments.  There were moments of weeping, shared hugs, and shared memories.  We were also reminded not only of the fact that my Mom is with the Lord, but we were reminded of our shared precious faith and Godly heritage that we have in my family.

My Mom was a caregiver for my Dad for a few years in the same way as I was a caregiver for my husband, Wayne.  We both had to rely on the Lord during those years.  We both had to release our husbands to Eternity at a certain point.  I lived five hundred miles away from my Mom; so I was not able to be directly involved with her care-giving in the same "hands-on" way, as I had for my husband. Yet I am thankful that I may have been her caregiver in those last moments of her life. 

When I spoke to my Mom I reminded her of Eternity and the glories of eternity just ahead.  I encourage you to do that for yourself and for your loved one as well, dear caregiver.  Whether death is imminent for your loved one or not, life on this earth is so short.  Concentrate on Eternity, as you walk your life with purpose, dear caregiver!"

 

 

 

The Next Chapter For You

This blog was started to encourage family caregivers.  I began this blog after caring for my first husband, Wayne, for four and a half years.  After many happy years together with my first husband, the last few years were difficult.  Wayne became more and more disabled due to a rare neurological disease called Multiple Systems Atrophy.  He was totally dependent on me in the end and passed on January 2, 2011.  Yet I loved him to the end.

One never forgets those whom we have loved.  There is a sense in which one always grieves their loss.  Yet through slow healing one can and must find new joy and purpose again in life.  If you are a widow, this can happen by remaining single.  A widow or widower often has time to pursue wonderful volunteer activities and services to others that she or he did not have time to do in their married life.  

It also may mean remarriage and finding love again.  Remarriage does not mean forgetting or not occasionally grieving one's first love.  How could we do that even if we tried?  Remarriage is just one way to move on to God's next chapter for us.  In the same way as one loves more than one child in one's family, so it is possible to love and marry again.  

Below is  a link you might find helpful explaining that concept.  I hope you find it a blessing as I did:

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/remarriage-after-widowhood_b_3545400

If you are a former caregiver who has lost the love of your life, take time to heal.   Yet work toward healing and joy again.  This may mean living as a single person the rest of your life.  It also could mean remarriage.  Second marriages have their own challenges, as does living as a single the rest of your life.  Yet be open to God's leading and next chapter for you.

A Tribute to Caregivers

 "More than 65 million Americans volunteer to care for a disabled, chronically ill, or aging loved one.  They are known as 'caregivers.'"  There are also many more caregivers throughout the world.  Thank you for all that you do, dear caregiver.  Below is a link to a song which pays tribute and thanks to caregivers all over.  If you are a caregiver may you be blessed by this song.  

The song was written by Peter Rosenberger who cares for his wife Gracie.  Over 30 years ago when only seventeen years old Gracie was involved in a terrible car accident.  She suffered over 200 fractures and eventually both of her legs had to be amputated.  She still feels a significant amount of chronic pain, but her husband is her faithful caregiver.  Thank you, Peter, for all you do, and thank you all caregivers for all you do for your loved ones.  

Below the first link is yet another link to a Facebook news clip of a man's loving care for his wife in a nursing home,  I hope you will be inspired by that as well.  Thank you, Lord, for loving and faithful caregivers.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SeUA0JBTBH8

https://www.facebook.com/KARK4/videos/10154028845894113

Jesus, Our Divine Valentine

Valentine's Day is considered a day for lovers to express their love for each other with cards, and perhaps candy, flowers, or jewelry.  For some people, however, it can be a day of sadness because of past losses or current trials.

During those moments of sadness remember that the Lord loves you with an infinite love.  He in effect is your Divine Valentine.  He is sufficient.  He alone can give you all that you need.  People may fail you at times, but the Lord never will fail you.  

Below is a poem called Your Divine Valentine.  This poem became very special to me especially when I was a widow.  I still love this poem.  I especially love Jesus being referred as the Rose of Sharon in the Song of Solomon reference, because Sharon is my first name.  (Be sure to check out this verse and all the verses for that matter.)  Sharon is the name of a place and not the name of a person in the Bible, but I still love this verse.  I hope you find the poem and accompanying Bible references a blessing.    

Your Divine Valentine

A Valentine may play a love song for you, but God sings you the sweetest love song in the universe.  (Zephaniah 3:17)

A Valentine may give you flowers, but God sent you the most beautiful rose of all, Jesus.
(Song of Solomon 2:1)

A Valentine may bring you chocolate, but God provides you with something even sweeter, His Word.  (Psalm 119:103)

A Valentine may love you for a lifetime, but God loved you before you were born and will love you for all eternity,
(Jeremiah 31:3)

Trusting and Waiting on Him

I usually use about four different devotional books in my morning devotions.  I am often amazed how they all fit together with a single message.  It is amazing how God speaks to us this way.  Today I am going to take some Scripture passages that I read the morning I penned this blog post, and just let them speak to you.  So sit back and let God's Word flow over you.  Also please excuse the paraphrasing that I also include.

In Psalm 13:1 the psalmist asks "How long, O LORD?"  Sometimes when going through overwhelming situations and circumstances it is difficult to wait on the Lord.  Yet waiting on the Lord and on His timing is necessary.  It builds up our faith in Him.  God's provision is always coming even though not always in the way we think it will come.  

When God's provision does come we will have reason to rejoice.  Psalm 13:5-6 says, "But I trust in Your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in Your salvation.  I will sing to the Lord for He has been good to me."  Another translation translates it this way, "I've thrown myself headlong into Your arms.  I'm celebrating Your rescue.  I am singing at the top of my lungs.  I am so full of answered prayers."

I Peter 5: 8-9 says, "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God's mighty hand, that He may lift you up in due time.  Cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.  Be self-controlled and alert.  Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.  Resist Him, standing firm in the faith,----And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.  To Him be the power for ever and ever.  Amen. "  Satan wants us to give into anxiety and fretting.  God want us to trust Him, His timing, and His working in our lives.

Another beautiful passage I read the morning I penned this post was Philippians 4:19.  It says, "And my God will meet all your needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus.  My God-my Savior, Lord, and friend will meet all your needs.  He will supply all your needs (not necessarily all your wants, because we do not always know what is best for us.)  Knowing that God provides all our needs should give us a sense of security and make us stand in awe of His faithfulness.  His supply of our needs is limitless, because it comes from the glorious riches in Christ Jesus!  

Let's rejoice today in His provision in His perfect timing.  Let's wait with patience and trust in Him when life becomes difficult.  Let's thank Him for His goodness.