August

Tomorrow on August 24th it will be my birthday.  I am thankful for my Lord being with me and being faithful to me these 73 years in the valleys, mountaintop experiences, and in the in between times in my life.

I am reminded of another thing which happened six years ago in August.  On that day my local newspaper published a story about my years as a caregiver for my first husband, Wayne.  That article talked about the struggles I experienced as a caregiver, but it also talked about how my faith helped me through that time in my life.  Finally, the newspaper article talked about my book to encourage family caregivers.  Here is the link to that newspaper article that was published six years ago:  http://www.sheboyganpress.com/story/news/local/2014/08/26/caregiver/14628253/

I probably posted a link to that newspaper story six years ago when it was just published, but I thought it was worth giving you the link to it again.  It gives a good rendering of my story (or rather the Lord's story) and portrays my passion to encourage family caregivers.

If you have not ordered my book, Dear Caregiver Reflections for Family Caregivers, yet, you might want to consider ordering it for yourself or for someone you love.  It contains over 100 short chapters or meditations to encourage family caregivers.  My story is intertwined in the chapters as well.  Here is the link to the Amazon order page for my book:  https://www.amazon.com/Dear-Caregiver-Sharon-Vander-Waal/dp/1629524263/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1470784479&sr=1-1

It is also available elsewhere online as well.  Finally, you can get it directly from me by e-mailing me at jesuschild54@hotmail.com for specifics.

I know the challenges of family care-giving, dear caregiver, and I care about you.  Thank you for all that you do for your loved one!

Things Too Wonderful to Understand

 The book of Job in the Old Testament of the Bible is a book I have read more than once.  There are many profound insights in the book of Job especially in the last chapter, Job 42.

Job says to God in verse one of chapter 42, "I know that You can do all things; no plan of Yours is thwarted."  Accepting God's plan in all things is sometimes difficult when going through difficult circumstances.  I found this to be true when I watched my first husband, Wayne, deteriorate step by step in his physical abilities.  I found this to be true also when I loss him to death over nine years ago.  Yet it is also true, as God provided a new person to love and become my husband in my life.  It is also true when he provides daily blessings in my life even in the stressful and sad moments.

Job did not know what God was doing in his life when he sent a whole series of very difficult trials.  Yet in the last chapter of the book of Job, Job comes to the realization that it is not his place to question God.  He says in Job 42:3, "Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me."   God does not owe us explanations for what He allows in our lives.  All we need to know is that God knows what He is doing and that He is a God who is always good.

Later on in the last chapter on Job, Job comes to realize that he has developed greater intimacy with God because of his trials.  Job says in Job 42: 5, "My ears had heard of You, but now my eyes have seen you."  In effect, Job is saying this, " In the past I knew things in my head about You, but now my heart knows You in an intimate way that I never experienced before.  This came about because of the trials You allowed in my life."

The same experience that Job had of growing in intimacy with God through trials can be our experience as well,  We can trust God, because He always provides for us even in times of trial and He is a God who is always there for us through both our joys and our trials.

For Those Who Care for Others

I think the picture says it all.  Many of you are struggling with being a caregiver for a loved one.  In the best of times this can involve sacrifice and sometimes struggles.  Covid may be making your job even more challenging.  Yet you continue to persevere, and you continue to love.  Thank you, dear caregiver, for all the love you show to your loved one in their time of need.  Thank you for all that you do! 

For Those Who Are Receiving Care

Recently a friend on mine,who was a caregiver for her husband, Walt, until his death posted on her Facebook status.  What she wrote was very profound.  So I asked her, if I could share her words on my blog.  She addresses her words to those who are the recipients of care from someone else.  This is what my friend wrote:

"I am bringing this up because there are a few of my dear friends here who are struggling with guilt and feeling like a burden with having a family member or friend become their caregiver. When Walt was first diagnosed with his brain tumor, he turned to me and said. "I would not blame you if you left me...I don't want too.." I stopped him before he could finish. I told him to never go there again. I told him that I am here and he is here, and we are a team. We are going to walk this journey together each step of the way no matter how painful or difficult.

It was an honor to be the one to walk with him. It was an honor that he put all his trust in me when the time came for me to take over all his care. Please don't waste precious time feeling guilty or feeling like a burden to those who are caring for you. Take that time to tell the person who is by your side how much you love and appreciate them.

I have a letter from Walt that he had written to me while he was still able to write. In one part of the letter, he talked about how well I was taking care of him. This letter meant everything to me. After Walt died, I would often have thoughts that I did not do enough, or I could have done better....a lot of guilt. I would turn to Walt's letter and his words would tell me to stop thinking like that. If you are able to write or even record a message for the person who is caring for you..do so now. Just because you are being cared for doesn't mean that you can't care for others. You just may have to do it differently then you have before. God still has a purpose for you, so ask Him how you can help others while being helped."

Joy

Joy is possible in even very difficult circumstances. This is because joy and difficulty-and even joy and sorrow-can coexist. Joy is also possible in the most difficult challenges and heartaches, because joy in not dependent on circumstances. True joy is experienced as a result of living in the presence of the Lord and though deep communication with Him. True joy and peace are experienced when we know God is with us in those difficult situations. It is knowing that He is keeping us, protecting us, and strengthening us in those situations. Joy and peace is knowing the Lord God is in control.  

Someone once sent me this formula for joy and strength: Thankfulness = joy = strength. If we can somehow thank God in all things, knowing and trusting that He is indeed in control and loves us deeply, we can began to experience joy. Joy then turns into strength to face life's challenges. (Nehemiah 8:10b)

Spend time in God’s Word, dear reader.  Revel in and latch on to His promises in His Word. Spend time in prayer. Ask for His strength and joy. Life can be so overwhelmingly difficult and emotionally challenging.  However, even in those very difficult days, dear reader, you can find joy in the Lord. He will get you through those days step by step. Though you do not know what lies ahead, He will lead you. He will give you His strength and joy. 

Preparation for The Valley

(Following is a chapter from my book:  Dear Caregiver Reflections for Family Caregivers.)  It is also a repeat of  posts I have published in July in past years.

Seeking to provide for my husband’s needs during my care-giving days could get emotionally heavy at times, but I feel my past experiences helped to prepare me somewhat for the care-giving challenges. One of these experiences actually coincided with the beginning stages of my care-giving days. That experience was my fight against breast cancer.

In July of 2007, about a year after my husband was diagnosed with his disease, I noticed a swelling in my right breast and under my arm. I was able to book an appointment with my physician’s assistant. She sent me for a mammogram and MRI the next day. A couple days later I received the devastating news that I did indeed have breast cancer and that the cancer had invaded my lymph nodes. The tumor in my breast was very large, and my doctor told me later that my lymph nodes were all gummed together.

A few days later I found myself at my oncologist’s office, and after a full body scan at the hospital I began chemo. I began chemo by the end of July of 2007. All together I had 8 chemo treatments in 3 week cycles, mastectomy surgery with all my lymph nodes under my arm removed, and 6 1/2 weeks of radiation daily. Side effects of chemo were fatigue, mild nausea sometimes, food tasting like cardboard, loss of all of my hair etc. Radiation caused some burning, but it was manageable. All treatment was completed in April of 2008!

During the time of my cancer treatments I had a host of people praying for me-even people across the ocean! We also had people from our church bringing in meals twice a week for a long time. I further had church people bringing me to all my chemo treatments and most of my radiation treatments. The medical people at my cancer care center were wonderful.

Cancer treatments would not be a time that I would want to go through again, but at the same time it was a time of blessing as well as hardship. It is hard to explain, but I became more free in my spirit and less concerned about other’s opinions as a result to this cancer experience. I experienced the love of other people, and most of all I experienced the love of my Lord and Savior in a new and fresh way. I learned dependence on the Lord God during those many months, and I grew in my faith. The Lord’s strength and His love to me demonstrated through others helped me through those months.

I still am miles away from having it altogether. Just perhaps, however, I will be able to face today and the days ahead with more of God’s strength, because of my cancer experience and my experiences with the heartaches of care-giving. The memory of those days will never go away. It has changed whom I am forever mostly for the good.

I know that there will always be problems in this life, but I am further certain that my Lord and Savior will be with me all through my life. I know He will give me the strength to handle anything I need to face in the future. Even in hard times God has promised to be with me and bless me and someday take me to live with Him eternally. Dear Christian caregiver, rest in Him.



(Look on the side of this home page for a link to the order page for my book on Amazon. The book is also available at Barnes and Noble and elsewhere online.  If you prefer a signed copy from me directly, just e-mail me at jesuschild54@hotmail.com for specifics.)

One Year Anniversary

There is a verse in the Bible which speaks of beauty coming from ashes.  Those who read my blog posts know that I have found that to be true in my life in my walk of faith.  I was my first husband's caregiver for a few years.  I eventually lost him to death.  One year ago today on July 13, 2019,  I remarried.  Last year I wrote about my care-giving years with my first husband and my anticipation of my upcoming wedding in a couple weeks.  You can read that blog post here by clicking on the link:  https://christiancaregiving.blogspot.com/2019/07/wedding-day-is-near.html

This week I will enclose a couple pictures of Bob and my wedding one year ago as well.  Next week I hope to return to my regular care-giver format for my blog posts.