God With Us

The Christmas presents are unwrapped for most of us, and the year 2020 is almost over.  Year 2020 certainly has had it's challenges, but there has also been huge blessings.  Now we look ahead to year 2021 with it's challenges and blessings.  

Psalm 62 talks about trusting the Lord at all times.  Psalm 62:8 says, "Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge."   Psalm 62 tells us that in God alone we find our rest, hope, and salvation.  He alone is our rock, refuge, and fortress which can not be shaken.  He is a strong and loving God.  

Circumstances may be difficult, and people may fail us, but God will always be with us.  We can always trust the Lord. The Gospel of Matthew in the New Testament calls Jesus, Immanuel, which means "God with us."  (Immanuel is also sometimes spelled Emmanuel.)  

God is with us because Jesus came to this earth as a baby.  He was God incarnate revealed to us.  He then lived a perfect life for us that we can't live and finally died to pay the penalty for our sins.  He rose again and is in now in heaven, but He is still present with us through the Holy Spirit.  So the book of Matthew begins with a promise that God is with us.  The Gospel of Matthew also ends with a promise that God will surely be with us "to the very end of the age."  What a precious promise! 

Let's carry that precious promise with us as we seek to live out the last days of 2020, and as God ushers in the new year, 2021.  Click on the link below and enjoy the song, "Emmanuel (Hollowed Manger Ground)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mvauItps_YU

Gifts

 What kind of Christmas do you anticipate this year? Perhaps your Christmas will involve a lot of extra work for you in addition to the challenges and responsibilities of other life activities, or perhaps you are feeling isolated and ignored and all alone this Christmas in your daily burdens. Instead, however, perhaps you will experience Christmas this year as a reminder of your blessings and as a blessed respite from the drama of life's challenges.

Whatever we experience this Christmas and with every gift we receive at Christmas or at any time of year we have to open our hands to receive the gift; or the gift does not benefit us or give us any joy. The gifts we receive which are eternally precious, however, are the gifts which God wants to give us.

The Lord first offers us the gift of salvation which is what Christmas and walking with the Lord is all about. He further offers us the accompanying gifts of joy, peace, and hope. They are ours for the taking; and yes, they can coexist with the pain and heartache which often are present in life. Further, the Lord promises us a happy ending. That happy ending is eternal life. Christian reader, the heartaches that sometimes come in life are but a comma in your life story. They are not the end of your life’s story. They are not the end of your loved ones' life stories either.

We also can all receive other gifts. We can receive the gift of trust in God and letting Him control our lives. We receive this gift by resting in Him and by letting go of anything which we are holding onto too tightly or trying to control.

We further all have to let go of feelings of unforgiveness for people who have not been there for us. We further have to receive the gift of forgiveness for ourselves.  We have to bring to the Lord any true wrongs, and ask for His forgiveness. Further, we often carry around a lot of false guilt about things beyond our control. So whether false guilt or true guilt, we need to let it go. We need to give it to the Lord. Trust and letting go are great gifts to have in our lives.  Receive the gift of releasing it to the Lord.

One great gift we can give ourselves is the gift of acceptance of our situation. We often waste so much energy wishing circumstances were different, but we can rest assured that we are right where we are supposed to be in our lives. Dear Reader, your responsibilities may be emotionally overwhelming at times, but in the measure that you can accept where God has placed you now in your life you will find joy. It is a great gift you can give yourself.

Yet another wonderful gift we can give ourselves is the gift of being still in the presence of God. (Psalm 46:10) Doing this helps us grow in peace, wisdom, and insights. Finally, we can give ourselves the gift of gratitude. When we are grateful in spite of our circumstances our joy and blessings will multiply and resentments will flee.

Would not these be wonderful gifts to have in your life? These are wonderful gifts not just for Christmas but all year long!

Christmas Hope

December is the month that we think of Christmas and hope.  Is your life weighed down with care and worry this Christmas season; or is it filled with hope?  This year in 2020 many people have felt weighed down with COVID issues.  Others have experienced other trials in addition to the COVID issues. Perhaps you have lost a job, or are caring for someone who has a serious illness. Perhaps you are fighting a serious illness yourself.

During the holiday season we are reminded of the birth of Jesus Christ. Over two thousand years ago before Jesus was born most of the people were living without very much hope.  Then in Luke chapter two of the Bible we read that an angel appeared to Mary and told her that she was being blessed by God's grace in becoming the mother of Jesus.  Jesus Christ was coming as the Savior of His people!

Mary's response to this was openhearted acceptance (Luke 1:38).  Mary would suffer many immediate problems being the mother of Jesus.  She would experience many heartaches in her future. Because Mary now had hope, however, she was willing to accept God's will for her life with joy.  A life secure in the Lord's hope can move with confidence through life in spite of difficulties and challenges.

Life can be very heartbreaking and challenging.  There are times when the circumstances of life can be overwhelming.  But like Mary in the Bible we too can have hope no matter what our circumstances.  Dear reader, rest your heartaches with the Lord. Know that He is the source of strength and hope.  His hope is not a wishful thinking type of hope, but it is a hope based on His certain promises in the Bible.  His hope is secure and will never leave you.

Blessings

 We just celebrated Thanksgiving Day in the United States.  We are also entering the Christmas season.  It is a time of year when we think of God's blessings.  God's greatest blessing to us is that He sent Jesus into the world to pay for our sins and to pave the way for us to have a wonderful and intimate relationship with Him.

We also experience many other blessings from the Lord.  There are material blessings, and there are emotional and spiritual blessings.  Every day God provides good and wonderful blessings to our lives.  We just need to open our eyes to these blessings and to look for them.  Sometimes we may not see these blessings when we are going through difficult trials.  For many especially because of the COVID 19 virus or other difficult circumstances, 2020 has been a year full of trials.

Nancy Gutherie in her book, The One Year Book of Hope, points out, however, that blessings do not always come in the form of things we consider good.  Sometimes blessings come in the form of hardship.  This is because trials and hardships can grant us perspective on what is important and meaningful in a way nothing else can do.  This is because they often lead us on a pathway to the Lord.  As we surrender to the Lord in times of hardship, we find God in a new and vibrant way.  In times of trial God often reveals Himself to us.  He also often gives us a peace that we can find in no other way,

In times of hardship and trial God bends down to us.  He enters into our lives and meets our needs in a personal way.  He not only does that, but He reveals Himself and gives Himself to us in unique ways in those times.  It is because of this, in those times we receive God's blessings.  We receive God's blessings in and because of the trials.  We find the blessing in the Lord Himself and not in material outward things or in our own perceived achievements.  Let's thank God for our blessings.

Though None Go With Me

 Are you ever puzzled with God's plan for your life especially during difficult moments?  Do you ever wonder why a sovereign, all-powerful, and loving God allows hardships and grief in our lives?  About a year ago my new husband, Bob, and I watched a  powerful and thought provoking DVD that I have in my possession called, "Through None Go With Me."  This movie addresses some of these questions.  The movie is also based on a song with that same title.

In this movie the main character, Elizabeth, went through a series of heartbreaking circumstances that could have destroyed her faith.  In her young adulthood she had vowed to always follow Jesus no matter where He lead.  Yet in the course of her life she lost her first love, her father died unexpectedly, and her son and his wife were killed in a car accident.  Later her husband, Will, developed dementia, and she eventually lost him to death.

Perhaps you are questioning why God has allowed certain trials and hardships in your life.  We all face deep trials and hardships at times.  There is no easy answer to this question, but we can know that God is a wise God, and He sometimes allows and appoints suffering in our lives both for our good and to encourage others.  When we trust God in times of hardship God is glorified and others are encouraged in their faith.  Elizabeth, in the movie to which I referred, was able to better serve and help others because of her suffering.  She was able to relate to others better and thus help them in a more productive and loving way.

Suffering helps us run to God more quickly and can help us to love Him and His Word, the Bible, more intensely.  His promises in His Word can become very precious to us during those times  Throughout the years that I was my first husband's caregiver, saw him deteriorate step by step. and then die; I clung very tightly to God and His Word.  I also did so when fighting breast cancer some years back..  During times like these we can say to God, "---in faithfulness You have afflicted me." (Psalm 119:75)  In times like these we can see that God is good.

During times of hardship we also learn patience and humility.  We further ironically grow in our joy.  Joy increases in times of trial when we respond to trials with submission.  This is because we learn during these times that only Jesus is our ultimate joy.

What is your heartache or hardship today?  Run to Jesus.  Remember and make the words of the song mentioned above be your theme for life.  "I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back, no turning back.  Through none go with me, still I will follow, no turning back, no turning back." Then yet another song flows through my mind.  It is a song sung at my wedding to my new husband, Bob, 16 months months ago.  That song says, "Through it all I've learn to trust in Jesus.  I've learn to trust in God.  Through it all I've learn to depend upon His Word."


Here is a link to the song, Though None Go With Me:   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mG-Pvqv2PHs

And here is the link to the song, "Through It All": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcE9-AngoeM

Thankfulness

 

This year I am very thankful for many things.  One of them is my marriage to my new husband, Bob, a little over sixteen months ago on July 13th, 2019.  This was after many years of watching my first husband, Wayne, deteriorate in his health and then eight years of being a widow.  I am thankful also this year for the beginning of a restored relationship with a loved one and seeing this loved one begin his life anew even though there are still many struggles.  I am also thankful for many other things like life, health, and a host of "little things" which I so often take for granted.  I am very thankful that God has kept both Bob and I healthy so far through the whole COVID virus crisis in which we are now living.  Above all, I I am thankful for my salvation and for my personal relationship with my Lord.  

Yet for many of you the holidays can be a discouraging time, if you or your family are going through difficult circumstances.  It may be difficult to find things for which to be thankful in such a scenario.

Yet a thankful heart opens up blessings from heaven and foretastes of heaven that cannot be attained in any other way. A thankful heart further revives hope and allows us to communicate on a more intimate level with the Lord. A thankful heart does not deny the reality of life's challenges, and life certainly presents a host of problems and heartaches. A thankful heart does, however, recognize the Lord's presence and joy in the midst of those problems.

So perhaps the best place to start is to thank the Lord each day for His presence and peace. Also as you go through the day look for even the Lord's tiny treasures which He has placed on your path. Look with spiritual eyes for His wonders in your life. I have mentioned this before but I remember as a caregiver being challenged to write down each day at least three things for which I was thankful that day. That helped me immensely in persevering in the care-giving role.

It is said that a thankful heart takes the sting out of trials and adversity,  Life often produces many challenges and trials. Yet we are commanded in the Bible to give thanks in everything. We may not always FEEL like giving thanks, but when we offer a SACRIFICE of thanks in spite of our feelings or circumstances, God gives us joy in spite of our circumstances.

That does not mean we always feel happy. Happiness and joy are not the same thing, but joy in the Lord and grief can coexist. It may seem nonsensical to thank God in and for difficult circumstances. Yet in the measure that we do so we will be blessed, even though the adversities may remain. Thank the Lord today for His blessings!

In the United States we are celebrating Thanksgiving Day this week. It is a day when we especially try to remember to thank and praise God for the blessings of the past year.  Life is often challenging and difficult. Yet there are many blessings in our lives even in the most difficult of moments,  Thank the Lord for your blessings daily and not just on special occasions. It will lift your burdens and add joy to your life.

Do Not Live In Fear

(This post is again a chapter from my book, Dear Caregiver Reflections for Family Caregivers)

Care-giving and watching my husband decline in his health and then his death in January of 2011 has been one of my life’s most difficult tests. Knowing I could trust that God loved me and was in control in the midst of the confusion and grief of it all made and continues to make all the difference in the world.

God is sovereign and in control. Nothing happens to a Christian caregiver or his or her loved one that is not filtered through His love. This is true even in the heartbreaking events which often accompany care-giving and sometimes their death. This is a difficult truth to accept. When this truth is accepted, however, it a soft place to land when one is overwhelmed with life’s difficulties.

God is good. Circumstances may be bad, but God is good. God is the very definition and essence of goodness. He proved that by sending His son on the cross. He can help caregivers who are struggling to keep emotional and spiritual equilibrium in the midst of the heartaches of seeing their loved ones decline in their health. He can also slowly emotionally heal caregivers, when and if their loved ones are not healed on this earth.

Joy can coexist in the midst of the heartaches and grief that often accompany care-giving and possibly losing our loved ones. This is because joy is not based on circumstances which are favorable or perfect. Rather it is based on a relationship with the Lord. If the Lord takes your loved one to Himself sooner than you would like, dear caregiver, He will be with you each step of the way then also. There is deep hurt and grief in the loss of a love one.  It involves a process that takes much time and deep crying out to the Lord and depending on Him.  There is a scar that never goes completely away. Yet, the Lord's faithfulness will be with you all the way, and the joy of the Lord will return. Do not live in fear of the future, dear Christian caregiver. Never forget that the Lord loves you, and He is good. He is in control.

(This post as stated above is a chapter from my book.  It is in fact the last chapter of my book.  At this blog site I have often written new posts.  I also sometimes have included chapters from my book, as I did today.  If you are a family caregiver consider ordering my book.  If you know a family caregiver consider ordering my book for them.  Below is the link to ordering my book from Amazon.  Even though it says only one in stock, it should work for you to order there.  It will only take a day or two longer.  My book is also available through Barnes and Noble and elsewhere on the internet.  You can further get a book directly from me by contacting me at jesuschild54@hotmail.com and asking me for specifics.)

https://www.amazon.com/Dear-Caregiver-Sharon-Vander-Waal/dp/1629524263/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1482027543&sr=1-1&keywords=Dear+Caregiver

He Never Will Forsake Us

The last several months have been laced with problems in the world and in our country.  These problems have included the Covid 19 virus, unrest and violence in the streets, political backlashing, and an uncertain election result in the United States for days after election day.  In addition to this many people are going through deep personal problems including serious illness, care of a loved one with a serious illness, job loss, an unstable family member, or a host of other personal trials. 

It is easy at times like this to give into fear.  Let's not forget, however, that God is in control.  If you are a child of God, you need not give into fear.  We have definitely experienced difficult times in these past months, but Christians who have gone before us also experienced very difficult trials.  God was with them, and He will be with us as well.  God has also brought us personally through difficult moments in the past, and He will continue to do so in the future.

Do not fear.  In Hebrews 13:5b God says to us, "Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you."  The  path may be difficult, but He will never forsake us. Let's trust that promise.

My Book Is Still Available

 A little over two years ago I found myself selling my books at a vendor fair.  I have done this several times since the publication of my book.  Because of a new marriage in the summer of 2019 and the Covid 19 virus, I have not done that in recent months, however.  Perhaps I will be able to sell books at a vendor fair in the months ahead once again.

I wrote the following on my Facebook status a little over two years ago, "This is a photo of me today selling my books.  It was a great day.  I sold eight books.  More importantly, I had great conversations with people.  Thanks everyone who prayed for me today.  I am amazed how God can use our past sad experiences to help others.  God is good."

As most of you know, I wrote my book, Dear Caregiver, Reflections for Family Caregivers by Sharon Vander Waal (my name before remarriage) after my experience of caring for and then eventually losing to death my first husband, Wayne.  After that experience I developed a passion to help family caregivers.  In the section below is a synopsis of my book.

 "Family care-giving for a loved one with a serious illness is a very noble and important role. It is also often a challenging and emotionally and physically draining endeavor. DEAR CAREGIVER is a book written to encourage caregivers in this all consuming but vital ministry for which many caregivers feel ill equipped. This book points to the Lord as the caregiver's source of strength. The book further seeks to provide practical and spiritual encouragement to family caregivers who have lovingly taken on a role which they did not anticipate or perhaps desire. 

The author is a mother and grandmother, and she was married to her husband, Wayne, for over thirty-nine years. In 2006 Wayne was diagnosed with a serious neurological disease. The author was Wayne's caregiver for four and a half years until his death in early 2011. She knows the heartache and physical and emotional stress of being a caregiver for a loved one. 

Hence, her passion is to encourage family caregivers in their struggles. The book starts with a brief synopsis of the author's personal care-giving story followed by over one hundred brief meditations written to encourage current caregivers. The author seeks to stay connected to her readers by relevant examples from her own care-giving experiences in order to drive home messages in the text and to enable the readers to persevere in the challenges of family care-giving. It is the author's desire to facilitate this goal through her willingness to be vulnerable and honest about the feelings and emotions she experienced as a caregiver for her husband. She explores both the blessings and challenges of care-giving and the blessing of drawing closer to the Lord through the experience."

Although you can not presently buy my book at a vendor fair, you can buy it online or directly from me.  Consider this as a wonderful gift for a family member, friend, or yourself who is caring for a loved one.  You can find my book at Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and elsewhere online.  I have even seen it at Wal-mart.com!  Amazon says there is only one in stock, but if you order it, that just means it may take a day or two longer to get sent out.  You can also buy new and used from other sellers there.  The Amazon link is:  https://www.amazon.com/Dear-Caregiver-Sharon-Vander-Waal/dp/1629524263/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1482027543&sr=1-1&keywords=Dear+Caregiver   Further, you can order from me directly by writing to me at jesuschild54@hotmail.com for specifics.  

The Valiant Rose

possessing or showing courage or determination.

 

The dictionary defines the word valiant, as possessing or showing courage or determination.  Our rose bush arbor along side our deck was full of roses in June. Right now the roses have all but disappeared for the season being replaced by God's beauties of the fall season.  There is one persevering and valiant rose, however, who greets me every morning when I sit in my sunroom looking out on my deck having my devotions.  This rose is there in spite of the other roses' disappearance and in spite of the cold weather.   

This rose reminds me that I need to persevere and be valiant in the Lord.  It reminds us all of that.  Life can be and is often difficult.  Yet there is blessing in perseverance (James 5:11).  Whatever you or I are experiencing in this life, let us trust and rest in the Lord and persevere in the faith.     

Carried On His Shoulders

There are many of you who may be going through some deep trials.  Some of you are going through cancer or other serious illnesses.  In my family I have a sister  and a sister-in-law who are undergoing cancer treatment.  Others of you may be caregivers for a love one who is sick.  This too is a difficult path to tread.  Others are weary of Covid 19 related circumstances.  I know a family from another state and who are near and dear to me who were recently affected by that virus.  Some of you are weary of all the unrest in our country.  Some of you may be suffering financial issues or family break-up.  Perhaps you are homeless or know someone who is homeless.  Perhaps there is another trial you are enduring.

If you are a child of God, however, you know that the Lord is with you and even carrying you through it all.  He carries us through weakness, sickness, and brokenness.  He carries us on His shoulders like a Daddy might carry a young child who is weak and weary.  Your help comes from the Lord.

Sometimes when the trials are overwhelming and many, it is difficult to see that the Lord is with us and helping us.  At those moments we must learn to not listen to our emotions which don't always tell us the truth.  We need to listen instead to the truth of God's Word which promises that the Lord is always our help and will never forsake us.  We don't always have to see it immediately to believe it, because it is true that God is with us.  Our help comes from Him in His perfect timing!

Above is a song that my sister, Nancy, and her husband, Milo sing about those very things we just talked about.  The name of the song is "Shoulders."  Nancy is fighting a battle against colon cancer.  Yet through it all she gives a wonderful testimony of her faith.  So does her husband, as he walks the difficult path of  being her caregiver and her support in this cancer walk  Listen to the song above, and be blessed and encouraged.

Deeper Joy As a Result of Sorrow

 About a year ago I read the following from a book by Nancy Guthrie called, The One Year Book of Hope:  "To experience sorrow does not eliminate joy.  In fact, I've come to think that sorrow actually deepens our capacity for joy-that as our lows are lower, so are our highs higher.  Deep sorrow expands our ability to feel deeply.  We feel sadder than we ever knew we could, sadder than we think we can survive.  But our sorrow prepares us to experience  a more solid joy than we ever known before.  When joy surfaces, it allows us to see that deep beneath the chaos and catastrophe is the strong current of confidence that we can be content in the sovereign hands of the God."

It is possible to have joy in the midst of and as a result of deep sorrow.  This comes from a deep relationship with the Lord and by the power of the Holy Spirit.  It certainly does not come from our own efforts or inclinations.  

I remember the deep sorrow of watching my first husband, Wayne, deteriorate in his health step by step.  I remember the anxiety and concerns of how best to address his needs during that time.  I remember the discouragement of knowing he would not be able to ultimately win the battle against his disease on this earth.  Yet I also remember this as a time when I drew very close to the Lord.  The intimacy of that relationship brought joy and comfort to me.  The same was true when I lost Wayne to death.  The Lord and the promises of His Word became increasingly precious to me.  Also opportunities for minister to other people came about because of the sorrows I had experienced.  This added much joy to my life.

As I have written before, almost 15 months ago I remarried after over eight and a half years of widowhood.  I can tell you that it is true that the joys of the highs and the thankfulness for God's blessings are better because of the past sorrows.  There are adjustments in a new marriage, but one looks at even these minor things in the light of God's love.  My new husband, Bob, has been a wonderful rock and support to me.  I love and appreciate him more because of his support for me now, but also because of past trials that I have experienced in my life.

There are several family members in my life who are currently going through some difficult struggles.  These family members are people for whom I have deep concerns and for whom I sometimes grieve.  Yet in the Lord and His blessings, there is a deep joy that only He can give even in these situations.  There are also many prayers that God has answered and is answering in regards to these family members. God is always good, and for that reason alone we can always be joyful.

Whether you are a caregiver or have lost a dear loved one or whether you are going through some other deep heartache and sorrow, run to the Lord.  He will give you a measure of His peace and joy even in the midst of the sorrow.  He will also use that sorrow to bring you great joys in the future.

Never Separated From His Love

 (This post is yet another chapter from my book, Dear Caregiver Reflections for Family Caregivers and ties in with our post of last week)  

Sometimes the future can seem so uncertain and fearful to a caregiver of a loved one with a terminal illness. As a caregiver I remember having such fears. As children of God, however, we have victory in Christ Jesus, our Lord! We need to fear nothing, for the Lord is on our side! Nothing can separate us from the love of God! What an awesome thought, and what an awesome promise! In light of all this there can be overflowing joy in our hearts!

We are secure in Christ for time and for eternity. Sometimes we may feel as if everything is against us, but the Word of God teaches us that the great God of the universe is always for us and is always with us! Romans 8:31-32) God proved His love for us by sending His only Son to die for our sins. Surely we can trust Him to provide us with everything we need for time and eternity. In the uncertainties of life Christian caregivers can rest in the Lord. They have the Lord God on their side, and they are victors in Him!

Nothing will happen to us that is not in God's plan for our lives, so we need not fear. Finally, Christ is always interceding for His children before God the Father! He is interceding for you dear Christian caregiver! He knows your heartaches, your challenges, and your fears; and He is praying for you! What a blessed promise!

In light of all this, what set of circumstances can ever separate you from the love of Christ, dear, Christian caregiver? (Romans 8:35a) The answer is that nothing can separate us from the love of Christ! No matter what hardship, trials or heartaches you may be experiencing in your life at the moment, dear caregiver, you are never separated from the love of Christ.

In fact, trials in our lives are part of God's plan and purpose for our lives to mold us to become more like Jesus in our character and attitudes. You are not separated from God’s love by the heartaches of care-giving. Rather the Lord is with you in a special way guiding and comforting you.

What is more Romans 8:37 teaches you that you are more than a conqueror! You become a conqueror through the trials of care-giving by patiently enduring these trials and by being submissive to the Lord's will. You become more than a conqueror by using these experiences to grow in your love and service for the Lord.

God always see us through difficult times and brings us to ultimate victory. He will do the same for you, dear Christian caregiver. Victory is always assured for the Christian-if not in this life, then in eternity. Your loved one may be healed on this earth, or he or she may be healed in eternity. There will be victory for your loved one either way. There will be victory for you too, dear caregiver. If your loved one goes to live with the Lord, you may feel as if your life has been shattered in a million pieces, but God will bring ultimate victory and peace for you also.

Absolutely nothing will ever separate us from the love of God and the victory we have in the Lord Jesus Christ! (Romans 8:38-39) Praise the name of the Lord for our victory in Him!

(If you would like to order my book for yourself or someone you love, you can find it at Amazon.  The name of the book is Dear Caregiver Reflections for Family Caregivers.  The address for the Amazon link to my book is found on the right hand side and about half way down on my blog page.  Just click on it.

My book is also available at Barnes and Noble online and elsewhere online.  I have even seen it on Wal-mart online!  You can also email me at jesuschild54@hotmail.com for specifics of ordering directly from me.)

The Tapestry of Our Lives

 (This week's post is a chapter from my book, Dear Caregiver Reflections for Family Caregivers.  It is also a repeat of another post that I published about a year ago.)

Romans 8:28 in the Bible promises us that in both the pleasant circumstances and in the tragic circumstances of life, God is working for our good.  It is a blessed promise.  We can rest in that promise and trust in it when the world around us seems to be falling apart, but it is also a promise with which we may at times struggle.

I remembers first struggling with the promise of Romans 8:28 when my dad was suffering the excruciating pain of cancer and radiation. I wondered how "all things" could possibly be working for good in this case?  It is also something I pondered when my husband was diagnosed with a devastating neurological disease. It was something I thought about when I was struggling with the challenges of care-giving, and I saw the effects my husband’s disease was having on his body. It was something I was confused about when my husband passed away four and a half years later.

The key to understanding this verse is to realize that not all things are good in themselves. Sin has wracked havoc with our world, and there are many experiences in this world that are not good or pleasant in themselves. God, however, works both the "good" and the "bad" events of our lives together for our ultimate good.

It has been said that life is like a tapestry. When you look at the backside of a tapestry it does not look beautiful. There are knotted-off ends and threads that seem to have no meaning or beauty. When one turns the tapestry over, however, one sees a beautiful picture or design.

Dear caregiver, when you see the difficulties and heartaches of care-giving, you are seeing only the backside of the tapestry of life. God, however, is bringing all the threads or events of our lives together-both the good and bad, into a beautiful tapestry. The Lord already sees the top part of our tapestry of life. The Lord already sees the beautiful end result of what He is accomplishing in our lives. When we do not understand the reason for the difficult circumstances in our lives and in the lives of our loved ones, we must simply trust that the Lord is working out all things in our lives for His glory and to accomplish His plan. He is also working out all things for our ultimate spiritual good.

The ultimate spiritual good that the Lord God is seeking to accomplish in our lives is that we might become more like Jesus in our thoughts, attitudes, and actions (Romans 8:29). In order for this to happen, there must be a conforming process taking place in our lives. This conforming process often can only occur during times of trial and difficulty in our lives. Gelatin is only able to be conformed or shaped to the mold into which it is placed after it has been dissolved in hot water. So we often have to go through the heat of trials and difficulties to become more conformed to the likeness of Jesus. 

God has the pattern for our lives all figured out. He knows and understands the beautiful tapestry that He is weaving for our lives. He knows the beginning from the end. We must trust the Lord to do His beautiful work in our lives, even in times when life's events and circumstances seem very difficult and overwhelming!

(If you would like to order my book for yourself or someone you love, you can find it at Amazon.  The name of the book is Dear Caregiver Reflections for Family Caregivers. The address for the Amazon link to my book is found on the right hand side of this post about half way down on my blog page.  Just click on it.

My book is also available at Barnes and Noble online and elsewhere online.  I have even seen it on Wal-Mart online!  You can also email me at jesuschild54@hotmail.com for specifics of ordering directly from me.)

Used of God

For many years I was my first husband's caregiver.  Those who have followed my blog the last years or have purchased my book, know the story of my journey as my first husband's caregiver.  You also know of his death in early 2011.

This week especially but also in the weeks and months before that I have been a part of another kind of caregiving experience.  This week has been a week that has been very emotionally draining.  It has been a time when I have needed to give emotional, spiritual, and physical help to someone who is very dear to my heart.  What I have learned through my past caregiving experiences and because of the time I have spent in God's Word has proven very beneficial in this endeavor.

So if you are going through a difficult caregiving experience, or you are in the midst of another trial of some kind; trust that God is using those experiences to refine you and make you more like Jesus.  Those experiences are also making you better able to help someone else in the days ahead.  It is equipping you to be the hands and feet of Jesus in that person's life.  In the meantime, pray for me as I pray for you.

God, My Portion Forever

One of my favorite passages in the Bible is Psalm 73:21-26.  After lamenting earlier in the Psalm about difficult situations all around him, the psalmist in this passage finally comes into the presence of God (verses 16-17)  When coming into the presence of the Lord, he gains a new perspective.  He begins to see things from God's perspective.

The psalmist begins to see that God never gets away from us.  He is our security (verses 23-26).  He is all we need or want both on earth and in heaven.  He is our portion forever (verses 25-26).  We need to  begin to seek intimacy with Him now here on earth (verse 28).  What is even better, Eternity is ahead of us when all our wounds will be healed and our questions will be answered.  He alone is our ultimate source of peace and joy.  Let's rejoice in that glorious truth.

Here are the beautiful words of Psalm 73:21-26.  Revel in the wonder of the words when you are feeling overwhelmed by life circumstances:

21 When my heart was grieved
    and my spirit embittered,
22 I was senseless and ignorant;
    I was a brute beast before you.

23 Yet I am always with you;
    you hold me by my right hand.
24 You guide me with your counsel,
    and afterward you will take me into glory.
25 Whom have I in heaven but you?
    And earth has nothing I desire besides you.
26 My flesh and my heart may fail,
    but God is the strength of my heart
    and my portion forever.

Beyond the Weariness

 Do you ever feel overwhelmed with or weary from a situation or circumstance in your life?  Perhaps you are the caregiver for a loved one which requires much of your time or energy.  Perhaps you have a situation at work which is overwhelming.  Perhaps, like me, you have a family member who is requiring much encouraging and counseling, and you find this emotionally draining.  Perhaps you have yet another very difficult situation in your life, and you feel weary with it all.  

Yet you can know that God has placed you exactly where He wants you to be at this moment.  He wants you to be a tool in His hands for the benefit of someone else.  So you and I must stay the course and persevere in what God had called us to do.  This task that God has called us to do may only be something we can fulfill through God's strength and will.  We can also pray for each other, as we persevere in the tasks God has given us.  I ask for such prayers from you.

Goodness of God

 It has been said that we have either just passed through a trial, are currently in the midst of a trial, or about to enter a trial.  Life is always a mixture of deep trials and also joyful moments.  Some of you are going through deep trials now.  Perhaps you are caring for a loved one who is sick.  Perhaps you are ill yourself and are fighting a serious illness.   Perhaps God has placed you in some other deep trial.  

Yet even through the trials there can be joy.  It is also through the trials ironically, that we learn of the faithfulness and goodness of God.  Through trials we learn that His mercy never fails, and that we are held in His hands.  God is good all the time and in all situations and circumstances.  His goodness and love is always running after us.  This should make us want to break out in song and praise to Him.  

Recently I came across this song about the goodness of God.  Click on the link below, and let the words of the song wash over your heart and soul.  God bless you.  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-f4MUUMWMV4

August

Tomorrow on August 24th it will be my birthday.  I am thankful for my Lord being with me and being faithful to me these 73 years in the valleys, mountaintop experiences, and in the in between times in my life.

I am reminded of another thing which happened six years ago in August.  On that day my local newspaper published a story about my years as a caregiver for my first husband, Wayne.  That article talked about the struggles I experienced as a caregiver, but it also talked about how my faith helped me through that time in my life.  Finally, the newspaper article talked about my book to encourage family caregivers.  Here is the link to that newspaper article that was published six years ago:  http://www.sheboyganpress.com/story/news/local/2014/08/26/caregiver/14628253/

I probably posted a link to that newspaper story six years ago when it was just published, but I thought it was worth giving you the link to it again.  It gives a good rendering of my story (or rather the Lord's story) and portrays my passion to encourage family caregivers.

If you have not ordered my book, Dear Caregiver Reflections for Family Caregivers, yet, you might want to consider ordering it for yourself or for someone you love.  It contains over 100 short chapters or meditations to encourage family caregivers.  My story is intertwined in the chapters as well.  Here is the link to the Amazon order page for my book:  https://www.amazon.com/Dear-Caregiver-Sharon-Vander-Waal/dp/1629524263/ref=tmm_pap_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=1470784479&sr=1-1

It is also available elsewhere online as well.  Finally, you can get it directly from me by e-mailing me at jesuschild54@hotmail.com for specifics.

I know the challenges of family care-giving, dear caregiver, and I care about you.  Thank you for all that you do for your loved one!

Things Too Wonderful to Understand

 The book of Job in the Old Testament of the Bible is a book I have read more than once.  There are many profound insights in the book of Job especially in the last chapter, Job 42.

Job says to God in verse one of chapter 42, "I know that You can do all things; no plan of Yours is thwarted."  Accepting God's plan in all things is sometimes difficult when going through difficult circumstances.  I found this to be true when I watched my first husband, Wayne, deteriorate step by step in his physical abilities.  I found this to be true also when I loss him to death over nine years ago.  Yet it is also true, as God provided a new person to love and become my husband in my life.  It is also true when he provides daily blessings in my life even in the stressful and sad moments.

Job did not know what God was doing in his life when he sent a whole series of very difficult trials.  Yet in the last chapter of the book of Job, Job comes to the realization that it is not his place to question God.  He says in Job 42:3, "Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me."   God does not owe us explanations for what He allows in our lives.  All we need to know is that God knows what He is doing and that He is a God who is always good.

Later on in the last chapter on Job, Job comes to realize that he has developed greater intimacy with God because of his trials.  Job says in Job 42: 5, "My ears had heard of You, but now my eyes have seen you."  In effect, Job is saying this, " In the past I knew things in my head about You, but now my heart knows You in an intimate way that I never experienced before.  This came about because of the trials You allowed in my life."

The same experience that Job had of growing in intimacy with God through trials can be our experience as well,  We can trust God, because He always provides for us even in times of trial and He is a God who is always there for us through both our joys and our trials.

For Those Who Care for Others

I think the picture says it all.  Many of you are struggling with being a caregiver for a loved one.  In the best of times this can involve sacrifice and sometimes struggles.  Covid may be making your job even more challenging.  Yet you continue to persevere, and you continue to love.  Thank you, dear caregiver, for all the love you show to your loved one in their time of need.  Thank you for all that you do! 

For Those Who Are Receiving Care

Recently a friend on mine,who was a caregiver for her husband, Walt, until his death posted on her Facebook status.  What she wrote was very profound.  So I asked her, if I could share her words on my blog.  She addresses her words to those who are the recipients of care from someone else.  This is what my friend wrote:

"I am bringing this up because there are a few of my dear friends here who are struggling with guilt and feeling like a burden with having a family member or friend become their caregiver. When Walt was first diagnosed with his brain tumor, he turned to me and said. "I would not blame you if you left me...I don't want too.." I stopped him before he could finish. I told him to never go there again. I told him that I am here and he is here, and we are a team. We are going to walk this journey together each step of the way no matter how painful or difficult.

It was an honor to be the one to walk with him. It was an honor that he put all his trust in me when the time came for me to take over all his care. Please don't waste precious time feeling guilty or feeling like a burden to those who are caring for you. Take that time to tell the person who is by your side how much you love and appreciate them.

I have a letter from Walt that he had written to me while he was still able to write. In one part of the letter, he talked about how well I was taking care of him. This letter meant everything to me. After Walt died, I would often have thoughts that I did not do enough, or I could have done better....a lot of guilt. I would turn to Walt's letter and his words would tell me to stop thinking like that. If you are able to write or even record a message for the person who is caring for you..do so now. Just because you are being cared for doesn't mean that you can't care for others. You just may have to do it differently then you have before. God still has a purpose for you, so ask Him how you can help others while being helped."

Joy

Joy is possible in even very difficult circumstances. This is because joy and difficulty-and even joy and sorrow-can coexist. Joy is also possible in the most difficult challenges and heartaches, because joy in not dependent on circumstances. True joy is experienced as a result of living in the presence of the Lord and though deep communication with Him. True joy and peace are experienced when we know God is with us in those difficult situations. It is knowing that He is keeping us, protecting us, and strengthening us in those situations. Joy and peace is knowing the Lord God is in control.  

Someone once sent me this formula for joy and strength: Thankfulness = joy = strength. If we can somehow thank God in all things, knowing and trusting that He is indeed in control and loves us deeply, we can began to experience joy. Joy then turns into strength to face life's challenges. (Nehemiah 8:10b)

Spend time in God’s Word, dear reader.  Revel in and latch on to His promises in His Word. Spend time in prayer. Ask for His strength and joy. Life can be so overwhelmingly difficult and emotionally challenging.  However, even in those very difficult days, dear reader, you can find joy in the Lord. He will get you through those days step by step. Though you do not know what lies ahead, He will lead you. He will give you His strength and joy. 

Preparation for The Valley

(Following is a chapter from my book:  Dear Caregiver Reflections for Family Caregivers.)  It is also a repeat of  posts I have published in July in past years.

Seeking to provide for my husband’s needs during my care-giving days could get emotionally heavy at times, but I feel my past experiences helped to prepare me somewhat for the care-giving challenges. One of these experiences actually coincided with the beginning stages of my care-giving days. That experience was my fight against breast cancer.

In July of 2007, about a year after my husband was diagnosed with his disease, I noticed a swelling in my right breast and under my arm. I was able to book an appointment with my physician’s assistant. She sent me for a mammogram and MRI the next day. A couple days later I received the devastating news that I did indeed have breast cancer and that the cancer had invaded my lymph nodes. The tumor in my breast was very large, and my doctor told me later that my lymph nodes were all gummed together.

A few days later I found myself at my oncologist’s office, and after a full body scan at the hospital I began chemo. I began chemo by the end of July of 2007. All together I had 8 chemo treatments in 3 week cycles, mastectomy surgery with all my lymph nodes under my arm removed, and 6 1/2 weeks of radiation daily. Side effects of chemo were fatigue, mild nausea sometimes, food tasting like cardboard, loss of all of my hair etc. Radiation caused some burning, but it was manageable. All treatment was completed in April of 2008!

During the time of my cancer treatments I had a host of people praying for me-even people across the ocean! We also had people from our church bringing in meals twice a week for a long time. I further had church people bringing me to all my chemo treatments and most of my radiation treatments. The medical people at my cancer care center were wonderful.

Cancer treatments would not be a time that I would want to go through again, but at the same time it was a time of blessing as well as hardship. It is hard to explain, but I became more free in my spirit and less concerned about other’s opinions as a result to this cancer experience. I experienced the love of other people, and most of all I experienced the love of my Lord and Savior in a new and fresh way. I learned dependence on the Lord God during those many months, and I grew in my faith. The Lord’s strength and His love to me demonstrated through others helped me through those months.

I still am miles away from having it altogether. Just perhaps, however, I will be able to face today and the days ahead with more of God’s strength, because of my cancer experience and my experiences with the heartaches of care-giving. The memory of those days will never go away. It has changed whom I am forever mostly for the good.

I know that there will always be problems in this life, but I am further certain that my Lord and Savior will be with me all through my life. I know He will give me the strength to handle anything I need to face in the future. Even in hard times God has promised to be with me and bless me and someday take me to live with Him eternally. Dear Christian caregiver, rest in Him.



(Look on the side of this home page for a link to the order page for my book on Amazon. The book is also available at Barnes and Noble and elsewhere online.  If you prefer a signed copy from me directly, just e-mail me at jesuschild54@hotmail.com for specifics.)

One Year Anniversary

There is a verse in the Bible which speaks of beauty coming from ashes.  Those who read my blog posts know that I have found that to be true in my life in my walk of faith.  I was my first husband's caregiver for a few years.  I eventually lost him to death.  One year ago today on July 13, 2019,  I remarried.  Last year I wrote about my care-giving years with my first husband and my anticipation of my upcoming wedding in a couple weeks.  You can read that blog post here by clicking on the link:  https://christiancaregiving.blogspot.com/2019/07/wedding-day-is-near.html

This week I will enclose a couple pictures of Bob and my wedding one year ago as well.  Next week I hope to return to my regular care-giver format for my blog posts.

Past Grief Feelings Revisited

Even though others read this blog as well, this blog was set up some years ago to encourage family caregivers. Sadly, part of family care-giving sometimes involves the death of one’s loved ones for whom one is caring. Soon after my first husband’s death nine and a half years ago, I began attending a program called Grief Share. One of the things they suggested was to write a grief letter to family and friends. I did write such a letter via Facebook around six months after Wayne’s death.  I recently ran across that letter in my Facebook Memories.  The words for that letter are below.




July second it will be six months since Wayne’s (Dad’s) death. In some ways it seems like a lot longer than that, and in other ways it seems just like yesterday. These last six months have been far more difficult than I could have imagined. I am told I need to be patient. Grief processing takes months and sometimes years, but the pain will get better.

Grief is always with me. There are many joyful moments, but grief is still there just below the surface. There are also really sad moments where it is hard to pull out of the sadness. Emotions during grief are unpredictable and intense. Grief emotions can ambush at unexpected moments. It is a very difficult and tiring process to go through. Yet I know what I am experiencing is normal grief emotions.

I would so appreciate your continued prayers. Please know too that I do not need fixing. Only God can do that in His timetable. You do not need to say the right thing or even say anything. Your presence, hugs, phone calls, short notes, and listening ears is all I need. Sometimes I will want to talk about my feelings. Sometimes I would rather talk about other things. Sometimes I need a mixture of both. I always like to talk about Wayne (Dad).

I still cry nearly daily. Sometimes the tears ambush unexpectedly. Don’t be uncomfortable, if that happens in your presence. I do not apologize for the tears. They are not a sign of weakness or lack of faith. They are God’s gift to me of release, and they are actually a sign I am slowly recovering.

Please pray that God will use this time of grieving to grow me and quip me to minister to others with greater compassion than ever before. I will not just survive, but full joy will return. (Psalm 30:5b) That is God’s promise to me, and I claim it. If you have suffered a similar type loss, please feel free to share it with me. It will help me rather than make me feel worse.

Thank you for caring about me. Thank you to those who listen and pray. It is a gift to me for which I will always be thankful.



Then this is what I wrote two and a half years after losing my first husband, Wayne, to death and previously having been his caregiver four and a half years before his death.  I recently ran across this as well in my Facebook memories:  

Two and a half years today; four and a half years before that; years including fears, grief, overwhelming feelings and circumstances; depending on the Lord's strength; God's awesome grace; His leading when I didn't know what I was/am doing (Psalm 32:8); a closer and more precious relationship with the Lord than ever before; God's faithfulness; returning and new joy in the Lord in spite of waves of grief which though smaller still hit; greater empathy for others; new areas of service; the Lord being my heavenly bridegroom (Isaiah 54:5); a time for everything; everything beautiful in its time even when it has not always felt that way (Ecclesiastes 3).

Through it all, through it all,

I've learned to trust in Jesus,

I've learned to trust in God;

Through it all, through it all,

I've learned to depend upon His Word.

Since that time I have continued to grow in my faith. God has used that time of caring for Wayne and his death in many ways for His glory and to help others. If you are a regular reader of my blog, you know that I am remarried to my new husband, Bob.  Bob and I used the song, "Through It All" in our Wedding nearly a year ago.  Although life continues to have struggles, Bob and I are happy that we have each other in those struggles.  Sometimes it seems that our prayer list for others that we love is so very long, yet God is with them.  He is also with us, as we pray for them. Further, we know that the God who brought us through past struggles will continue to help us in the future and will eventually bring us to our eternal home. I pray the words I wrote only six months and later two and a half years after my first husband’s death will somehow help someone today.




(Next week I might post on Monday instead of Sunday, since it will be the one year anniversary of Bob's and my marriage.)

Something to Bless You Today

With all that is going on in our world we need the Lord and His Word to cheer us and encourage us.  Many of us are also experiencing difficult circumstances in our personal lives.   We also need the Lord and His Word to cheer and encourage us in those personal trials.

The beauties of spring and God's creation that are all around us can further help to uplift and cheer us.  I have been posting pictures on Facebook from time to time of flowers popping out on our yard.  I would like to feature some again today on this post.  May it be a blessing!  Remember creation's beauties are God's love gifts to you!