JOY

Care-giving for a family member with a terminal illness is one of life’s most difficult experiences. It is stressful and very discouraging at times. This is especially true if a caregiver is forced to helplessly watch his or her love one continue to deteriorate in health step by step. I know this is true, because I was my husband’s caregiver for four and a half years.

Remember, however, dear Christian caregiver, that joy is possible in even these circumstances. This is because joy and difficulty-and even joy and sorrow-can coexist. Joy is also possible in the challenges and heartaches of care-giving, because joy in not dependent on circumstances. True joy is experienced as a result of living in the presence of the Lord and though deep communication with Him. True joy and peace are experienced when we know God is with us in those difficult situations. It is knowing that He is keeping us, protecting us, and strengthening us in those situations. Joy and peace is knowing the Lord God is in control.  

Someone sent me this formula for joy and strength: Thankfulness = joy = strength. If we can somehow thank God in all things, knowing and trusting that He is indeed in control and loves us deeply, we can began to experience joy. Joy then turns into strength to face life's challenges. (Nehemiah 8:10b)

Spend time in God’s Word, dear caregiver. Revel in and latch on to His promises in His Word. Spend time in prayer. Ask for His strength and joy. Care-giving can be so overwhelmingly difficult and emotionally challenging.  However, even in those very difficult days, dear caregiver, you can find joy in the Lord. He will get you through those days step by step. Though you do not know what lies ahead, He will lead you. He will give you His strength and joy.  

The above paragraphs are words from my book, Dear Caregiver Relections for Family Caregivers.  I will go on to tell you that the four and a half years of my husband's illness and the eight plus years since his death have included greater dependence on the Lord's strength and a closer and more personal relationship with the Lord.  It has also included God revealing His grace in awesome ways and Him leading me step by step.  This has been true even when I haven't known or don't know what I am doing (Psalm 32:80).  It has further included God's faithfulness shown to me, returning joy, greater empathy for others, and new areas of service.

Finally, these years have included the Lord being my heavenly bridegroom (Isaiah 54:5).  It has also brought new love into my life.  I am engaged to be married to a wonderful man who himself cared for his spouse and lost her to death two years ago.  We will be married in July.  Ecclesiastes 3 tells us that there is a time for everything, and everything is beautiful in its time.  It has not always felt that way, but through it all the Lord has been with me.  He will be with you as well.  Rest in the joy of the Lord.  That is your strength.

Gratitude Revisited

Gratitude is so foundational to all of life.  When we are grateful even in and for the difficult moments, joy and peace are added to our lives. (We will talk about joy in the next blog post.)  About four years ago I wrote a blog post about gratitude.  I have pasted the link for that post below.  Just click on the link to read the post.  May your life be filled with gratitude, joy, and peace, dear reader.

https://christiancaregiving.blogspot.com/2015/05/choosing-gratitude.html

Prayers for Healing or God's Will?

When illness strikes our loved ones, we desperately want physical healing in their lives.  We desire that for them and also for ourselves.  What should be the content of our prayers at times like this, however?  Should we primarily be praying for their healing, or should we be praying that God's will is accomplished?  Should we be praying for healing, or for God's purpose to be accomplished in our loved one's lives and in our own lives?

I knew from the beginning that my husband's illness would finally take over his body.  I just did not know how long he would still be with me.  I often prayed prayers for strength to be the best wife and caregiver that I could possibly be.  I often prayed for strength to just get through moment by moment.  I grew in intimacy with my Lord during that time of caring for my husband. That was part of the God's purpose for this time of trial in my life.

So should and can we pray for healing in the lives of our loved ones?  Yes, we most definitely can and should do so.  We must remember, however, that the Lord knows what is best for us and our loved ones.  Nancy Guthrie in her book, The One Year Book Of Hope, says it well.  She suggests we pray this way, "God, would you please accomplish Your will?  Would you give me a willing heart to embrace Your plan and Your purpose?  Would You mold me into an instrument that You can use to accomplish what You have in mind?"  Nancy goes on to say, "And then, perhaps, we could add a tiny P.S. that says, 'if that includes healing we will be grateful.'"

I would add that healing will come no matter what transpires with your loved one who is a child of God.  If physical healing does not occur on this earth, your loved one will be completely healed and whole in Eternity. Trust God's perfect plan. Psalm 57:2 says, "I cry out to God most High, to God, who fulfills His purpose for me."  Dear caregiver, God will fulfill His purpose for you as well.

Five Year Anniversary

A few days ago Facebook Memories reminded me that is was a little over five years ago that I published my book, Dear Caregiver Reflections for Family Caregivers.  Writing and promoting the book five years ago stirred up emotions about my own difficult days of seeing my husband decline in his body and then losing him to death.  I also had some fears.  Satan would have liked me to feel like no one was going to read the book, but I also knew it was in God's hands.  I further felt a passion to help current caregivers.  That is the reason I started this blog, and that is the reason I wrote my book.

In spite of the emotions I was excited  about the new book.  This book and other events in those five years since the publication of this book has helped other family caregivers including my current fiancee' who read the book while taking care of his wife at that time.  For that I am very thankful to the Lord.

If you are a family caregiver or know someone who is a family caregiver consider reading this book.  It is available at the Amazon link below, but it also available at Barnes and Noble and elsewhere online.  It is further available from me directly at jesuschild54@hotmail.com  Just contact me there for details.

Once again here is the Amazon link to the order page for my book:
rhttps://www.amazon.com/Dear-Caregiver-Sharon-Vander-Waal/dp/1629524263/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1482027543&sr=1-1&keywords=Dear+Caregiver