Sunday, October 18, 2015

Panic or Trust

What do you do, dear Christian caregiver, when your care-giving responsibilities become increasingly overwhelming; and you do not know what to do next? A few months before my husband’s death it was becoming increasingly difficult for me to take care of my husband’s physical needs. As a caregiver maybe you can identify with some of the feelings that I experienced at that time. I hope my sharing those feelings will be helpful to you, dear caregiver.  On September 25, 2010 I wrote the following paragraphs:
“Things definitely are changing with my husband, Wayne. Transfers for my husband to the bathroom, back to the chair, etc. are getting more difficult; and I have been finding myself becoming increasingly stressed. I find myself dreading and consumed with thinking about the next transfer. I also keep wondering what my next step needs to be. Keep doing it myself? Try to hire more in-home help? Pursue nursing home options?
Last night my son came over. He was very stressed because of a serious job issue. He was basically in panic mode. It was and is a serious situation, as his job may be on the line. My first reaction was to think, 'I do not need this. I have enough stress of my own.'
Then, however, I found I could relate to him and thus calm him down. I told him about my heavy stress level and how we just need to trust. Nothing happens by chance, and we are being guided. I also told him that what will be will be, and we will be okay. I asked him if he had prayed about it, and he said 'Yes.' He then asked me to pray for him. I did that, and we both felt better. I do not think I could have helped him as much, if I had not been as stressed as he was. I could relate to him, and therefore what I said to him had validity. It helped both of us.
This whole incident reminded me that everything has a purpose even the difficulties of care-giving. Because of the stress I was experiencing with care-giving I could help my son. We also shared a prayer and a hug together. That was a special blessing in spite of the situation we both are in. What could be more beautiful than that?”

Dear Christian caregiver you do not need to live in a state of panic. The Lord will guide you step by step. Care-giving will never be easy, but God’s purpose will be fulfilled in you through your care-giving role.  What you do in care-giving is important, and it has eternal consequences.  The trials of care-giving are forming your character to become stronger. Do not focus on what you see but on what will be and on what is good in your life right now.  Focus on seeing the small miracles of each day, and know and trust that they will continue.  God’s love is always with you, dear caregiver. 

(This blog post is one of my chapters in my book Dear Caregiver Reflections for Family Caregivers. My book can be found at Xulon, my publisher, Amazon, or Barnes and Noble online. The Amazon link for my book is here: )

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