A blog site with the goal of recognizing and helping family caregivers
Sunday, April 12, 2015
reality can seem like a harsh word. It often reflects the gap between
what we would like life to be like and the actual circumstances of
life. In March of 2009, almost two years before my husband’s
death, I wrote about what reality had come to mean in my
husband’s life and in my life as his caregiver.
I wrote the
following: “The reality I daily face is seeing my husband continue
to have to use his walker for basically almost every step he takes.
Reality is my husband sleeping 9-10 hours a night and still dozing in
his chair during the day. Reality is that my husband’s speech is so
poor that communication between us is very difficult. Reality is very
seldom seeing a smile on my husband’s face. Reality is that there
will most likely come a day in the future when I will not be able to
take care of him by myself. Reality is that life is not like it
was for many years of our married life. Reality is seeing this
disease slowly taking more and more from my husband’s ability to
function in this world. Reality is discouraging sometimes.”
mentioned before my above comments were written in March of
2009. Reality in actuality became even harsher. Before my husband’s
death in early 2011 his mobility and a host of other issues declined
even more. By that time my husband had graduated to a wheelchair, and
we needed a lift to transfer him from place to place.
March of 2009 I knew that there was another reality in place also,
however. In that same journal post I wrote the following: “Reality,
however, also is knowing that I am not in this alone. My Lord and God
is with me every step of the way. He will give me the strength and
courage to press on. My Lord God will continue to add many blessings
in my life also. Reality further is knowing that there are many
people who care about us and are praying for us.”
was the task that God had given me to do. It was not the task or life
for which I had aspired. The life of my dreams and which I had
envisioned was much different than reality. I am sure the same is
true for you also, dear caregiver. The gap between what we envision
and reality as we live it forces us to run to God. Our Lord God is
our great Reality. He is unchanging. He also loves us and promises to
never leave us alone.
It is also
God who places us where we are in life. Even in the challenges and
grief of care-giving caregivers are right where they belong. They are
doing what God has called them to do. In the measure they accept and
receive this set of circumstances humbly, quietly, and thankfully
they will be blessed; for they are indeed doing God’s work!
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