This is going to be a bit of an unusual blog post today. Today a friend of mine who lives in another state is burying her husband. My friend’s husband had the same illness as my husband, Wayne. My husband passed away from this disease on January 2, 2011. The disease is a rare and devastating neurological disease called multiple systems atrophy.
My heart is hurting for my friend today. Will you please pray for her today and not only today but in the many days and months ahead? She is not only a friend whose husband had the same disease as my husband, but she also often came to this blog site for encouragement. Hence, she was a fellow caregiver with all of you other caregivers who come to this site.
If my friend is like me, she may go through a period of dwelling on the “if onlys.” If only I had been more patient, or if only I had you fill in the blank. She also may dwell on the “should haves.” It is easy to feel like you were not enough after the death of a loved one. This is especially true if you were his or her caregiver. My friend needs to reject these feelings, however, even though they are often a normal part of the grief process. These feelings are not based on truth.
Caregivers while they are still caregivers will also often tend to have these feelings. I know I did. Yes, if there is medical help available that can help your loved one; you need to pursue it. In the end, however, God is in control. He determines whether your loved one will get well again, or whether He takes them home to heaven.
As a caregiver you are less than perfect. You may experience moments of weakness and impatience. Know, however, dear Christian caregiver, that you are enough. You are enough because the Lord lives in you. You are simply an instrument in the hands of God in caring for your loved one. He is in control.