Monday, April 23, 2012

The Longing for Past Days

Dear caregiver, do you ever long for your life as you experienced it before your current caregiving days? Do you wish you could go back to those days? In April of 2009 I journaled the following words:

“I went to a musical program with a friend last night. It was very enjoyable with lots of nice variety. There had been some frustrating moments at our house on Friday and Saturday, so it was so nice to get away with a friend. I also love music. So that was an extra treat.

I enjoyed the program last night very much, but it did bring back memories of going to musical programs with my husband at this same building in the past. Now because of his disease my husband is too tired to go to many places, or he is too unmotivated. Sometimes the logistics are too difficult. Even though I enjoyed going with a friend, I do miss those days when my husband and I enjoyed doing those things together. Sometimes I go places like church alone too. There is a certain loneliness in that. It makes me feel a bit like a widow already especially when I see couples together seemingly happy and healthy. This is my path now, however, and there is a divine purpose in it all.”

There were many lonely moments as a caregiver. My loneliness has increased since the death of my husband. Dear Christian Caregiver, you may have experienced similar feelings of loneliness. Know with certainty, however, that the Lord will always be with you. He will guide you through the challenges and heartaches of caregiving. His presence also will be your joy and peace in the loneliness. Even on days when you can not feel His presence know that He is there.


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