"Lord, help me today to count the blessings and not dwell on the difficult moments. Help me not give into fear about the future, but rather trust that you will guide step by step." These were the words that I posted about six years ago on my Facebook status. I recently discovered these words in my Facebook memories.
These words were written only a few months before my husband's death, although I did not know that at the time. I knew at the time that my husband was declining significantly, but my brain and heart were not ready to accept the possibility that the end was near. Yet as I said, the declines in my husband's body were real and significant. They were becoming increasingly difficult to manage. In fact, in October of that year we began to have to use a mechanical lift with him. Hence, this prayer came from my heart that day six years ago.
God has answered that prayer for me. I do sometimes even in my post care-giving days feel anxious and begin to feel fearful. In those moments, however, I can turn to the One who holds my future. He has guided me step by step both during my care-giving days and now as a widow. He has allowed me to go through difficult moments, but He has helped me through those difficult moments. He has also made me aware of the value of gratitude and has made me think about my blessings. He has made me love the Lord more and has made my faith sweeter.
Dear Caregiver, in the challenging and overwhelming moments turn to the Lord. He loves you so much. I love you too, dear caregiver. My prayer from my heart for you today is that you will also be able to dwell on the blessings and not on the difficult moments. I pray that you will be able to not give into fear, but rather trust the Lord to guide you step by step.
I appreciate reading how the Lord has built your trust in Him through your difficult days! It gives me great hope!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Georgene!
ReplyDeleteA friend of mine stumbled upon your blog and shared with me.
ReplyDeleteMy husband is suffering from a rare neurological disease that is taking its toll on me as well.
I am hoping to be encouraged when my days are dark and meaningless.
I wonder if you ever felt alone even when you knew you had friends and family.
I wonder if you seethed in anger at God for allowing this suffering and wasting.
I wonder if I will ever be whole for my family again.
I wonder if I will be forever bitter and lonely.
I hate what this disease has done to us.
Am I alone?
I could write your blog on a good day.
I know how I am to think but I too often do not when the load is heavy.
I will follow your blog as I journey this unknown path.
Cheri
Cheri, I am so sorry for all that you and your husband are experiencing. My husband also had a rare neurological disease. Watching my husband deteriorate during those years that I cared for him was a very difficult time in my life. I often felt lonely, afraid, and overwhelmed. It took an emotional and physical toll of me as well. In fact I developed breast cancer during this time. I am a survivor of over 9 years now, but I often wonder if that happened because of the stress I was under at the time. I tried to not be angry against God, because I knew He was wiser than me. I also knew and learned He was the only One to whom I could always flee with my heartaches and troubles. Keep looking to the Lord and His Word, Cheri. Bless you for all that you do for your husband!
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