Previously entitled, Dear Caregiver, a blog site with the goal of encouraging fellow Christians
Friday, April 19, 2024
Our Real Home
Friday, April 12, 2024
Why is There Suffering in the World?
Why does God allow suffering in the lives of Christians? Why are we living in an increasingly dangerous world of persecution and suffering? Why is there suffering of any kind in this world? Why is there abuse of all kinds and hardships in our world? Why did your loved one become ill? If God is a God of miracles, why doesn't God just fix things?
We just celebrated Easter a couple weeks ago. Christ suffered unimaginable suffering, so we could be saved. Easter further assures us of His presence in our lives through the trials we suffer. It proves His love for us. We need no other proof of Christ's love, when we really contemplate what He did for us. Rest in that, dear Reader.
Friday, April 5, 2024
Christmas Catcus Lessons
As most of you most likely already know, the plant in the picture above is called a Christmas Cactus. It was blooming for me around Christmas of last year. In fact, if my memory is correct; I bought this plant around that time of year. For several months, however, it has not bloomed at all. The leaves were healthy and green, but there were no blossoms.
Now I understand that the Christmas Cactus also sometimes blooms around Easter. That is just what happened this year. A few days before Easter it started to get blossoms on it, and then one day it produced the beautiful flower you see in the picture.
As a person who does not particularly have a green thumb, I was excited about this development and even posted it on my Facebook page. Yet then I thought about the spiritual lessons from this. When Jesus came to this earth as a baby in a manger that was a glorious day for mankind. There was now the promise of new life for believers. When Jesus died on the cross to pay for our sins and then rose again to prove that He had won over sin and death, however, that new life and blssoming of eternal hope was sealed and accomplished.
Through all those years between when Adam and Eve sinned until Jesus came to this earth to accomplish His work of salvation, God's people had to watch and wait for that day of salvation. In anticipation of that day Isaiah 35:1 says,"The desert and the parched land will be glad; the wilderness will rejoice and blossom." Did God's people ever grow weary looking for that salvation to come? Then one day it happened! Some did not believe and accept Jesus, the Savior, and His salvation when it did come. But for those who did accept that salvation it brought joy, new life, and blossoming in their lives!
Now some day Jesus will return to this earth a second time. Only this time He will come back as a King of kings on the clouds of glory. It took my plant a long time to blossom a second time. So Jesus' second coming may seem like a long time in coming, but one day it too will happen! You and I may become weary of the trials of this life, but Jesus is coming back to bring His children to Himself. As the song says, "What a day that will be when my Jesus I shall see"!
Friday, March 29, 2024
Easter
Easter means that the Lord Jesus came to this earth and lived a perfect life for you and me. He later died on the cross to pay the price for our sins, and then He arose again on the third day to prove that He had won over sin and death and Satan. If you and I have accepted his gift of salvation by repentance and faith, we are His child now and for eternity.
Easter also means that Jesus Christ, the Son of God, identifies with our pain and the pain of our loved ones. Having suffered the worst possible pain for us on the cross He is able to sympathize with our heartaches and weaknesses. He is also an all powerful Savior to whom we can freely go for grace in our moments of sadness and overwhelming and crushing needs. Check out Hebrews 4:15-16 in the New Testament.
Because of Easter and Christ's sacrifice we can freely approach God the Father Himself with our needs. We can cry out to Him for help and call Him our “Abba Father,” because He considers us His special child. (Romans 8:15) Easter also means that when our hearts are so weighed down with the heartaches and overwhelming circumstances of life that we do not even know how to pray, the Holy Spirit will intercede and pray for us! (Romans 8:26)
Easter means that although we will always face trials and troubles in this world, the Lord Jesus Christ has overcome the world. He is also our source of peace even in the most challenging of times. (John 16:33) Even in the overwhelming circumstances of life, even when we do not understand God's ways in allowing certain things in our lives, and even in the most unthinkable circumstances, God is working for our ultimate good. We are victors in Him! (Romans 8:28)
Dear Christian reader, my hope for you would be that no matter what happens in your life situations you will slowly heal emotionally and spiritually. God will always be with you, and joy will return one day even in the overwhelmingly difficult situations. His love for you will never fail. He proved that love for you on the cross. That is the meaning of Easter for all of us.
Friday, March 22, 2024
The Time in Between
Palm Sunday is a special Sunday. It is when we remember children and adults lining the street waving palm branches and singing praises to Jesus, the King of kings, as He rode into town on the back of a donkey. Yet that day was followed with a week of drastically different events including the betrayal of Jesus and His crucificiation on the cross the following Friday.
Jesus's death on the cross was a horrific event for Jesus, as Jesus suffered hell for us on the cross. Yet for us, who believe and trust in Him, it is was a wonderful event; as it purchased salvation for us. That is why we call it Good Friday, because it was so very good for us. Jesus took the punishement that we deserve and paid the price for our sins on the cross. Now when God looks at us, He sees Jesus Christ's righteousness instead! Jesus Christ first lived a perfect life for us, and then He paid the penalty for our sins in our place! What a Savior! What a Lord! That should make us want to live a life of gratitude to Him for what He has done for us.
The time between Palm Sunday and Easter was a horrific time for Jesus, yet victory was right around the corner! On Easter Sunday Jesus rose from the grave victorious over sin, death, and hell. So someday, all our earthly trials will be over as well. This is the just the time in between. Someday there will no longer be any night or tears or trials. To God be the glory!
Saturday, March 16, 2024
Eternity
Seven years ago in early March my Mom passed away after having suffered a stroke a few days before that. I was with her the last few moments of her life. I wrote about that experience, about care-giving, and my reflections on eternity a few days after her funeral in March of 2017. Bear with me as I bring that post back today. Eternity is really so close to us, just a breath away. Easter which is right around the corner reminds us of that. Just click on the link below to reread that post.
http://christiancaregiving.blogspot.com/2017/03/eternity_11.html
Saturday, March 9, 2024
His Grace
I have heard people say, "I don't think I could handle that." They then proceed to name the set of circumstances which they feel they would never be able to handle, if that set of circumstances would occur in their lives. When I was younger I remember thinking that there were two things I just "knew" I would not be able to handle, if they happened to me. These two things were the death of my husband and the loss of a breast. God asked both of these things of me. My first husband, Wayne, died in early 2011 at the end of a long battle against his neurological disease, and I also lost a breast due to breast cancer in the same time frame that I was my first husband's caregiver.
After being my first husband's caregiver and then losing him to death I also said that I never wanted to be a caregiver again. Yet God has asked me to be a caregiver once again now to my second husband, Bob. The circumstances are diffierent but the emotions are also so amazinly similiar. I so often have felt in the last months that I couldn't go on. Yet God has always been there with me with His grace and comfort.
The truth is that God does not give us grace ahead of time. He gives us His extra grace to handle a difficult and "impossible" situations at the time we need it and not before that time. That does not mean that the difficult situation will be pleasant, and that one is free from negative emotions. It just means that God will give sufficient grace and even a measure of joy and peace in the midst of the situation.Instead the Lord said to Paul, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." (II Corinthians 12:9) The Lord was going to give Paul the grace he needed moment by moment to endure and even prosper in the midst of this affliction. Paul's response in ll Corinthians 12:9b-10 was to say, "Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.----For when I am weak, then I am strong." Paul was content to feel weak and to suffer his affliction, because in the process the Lord's sufficient strength in Paul would be seen more clearly.
How about you dear reader? Are you willing to trust that God's grace is sufficient to get you through any challenge you may face today or in the future? I remember feeling afraid of what the future held while caring for my first husband. How was I going to handle each new decline in his physical functioning? Yet God paved the way and gave me His strength step by step even during the moments when I felt very overwhelmed. I often wonder the same thing in the challenges I now face.
God's grace IS sufficient for all your needs, dear reader. He will equip you for whatever lies ahead. You will not only survive, but you will prosper spiritually through the process. This is a truth that I have to remind myself as well when I feel overwhelmed, confused, alone, or need His comfort. I still often give into fear. It is not easy to walk this life's path. Yet I am reminded that God will give me the sufficient grace at the moment and moments I need it. God is doing it for me and will do the same for you, dear reader!
Sunday, February 25, 2024
Fill My Cup, Lord
Have you ever experienced moments of emptiness, longing, or a feeling that this world is not your home? Especially in times of trial I think we can have these feelings crop up. If we try to soothe these feelings with things of this world, it never works. The only One that can soothe and comfort us is the Lord Himself. Looking forward to an eternity with Him is the only ultimate and lasting source of comfort.
There is another song which has been floating around in my mind lately. It is called, "Fill My Cup, Lord."
"Like the woman at the well
I was seeking
And then I heard my Savior speaking
"Draw from My well that never shall run dry"
I lift it up, Lord
Come and quench this thirsting of my soul
Bread of Heaven, feed me 'til I want no more
Fill my cup, fill it up and make me whole
Who are craving
The pleasures, earthly things of gold
But none can match the wondrous treasure
That I find in Jesus Christ my Lord
I lift it up, Lord
Come and quench this thirsting of my soul
Bread of Heaven, feed me 'til I want no more
Fill my cup, fill it up and make me whole
Here's my cup, fill it up and make me whole."
Tuesday, February 13, 2024
Press On
This week has been a difficult week for this writer. It was the anniversary of my sisters' death on the 13th. My husband is struggling in his acceptance of his assited living situation. My back issues have been worse again the last few days. Life feels like it is on hold. One song has come to my mind through all this. That song is the song, Press On. Here are the lyrics for that song:
Press On
Song by Selah
Search Results
Main Results
When the mountain is steep
When the body is weary
When we stumble and fall
When we're battered and scarred
When we've spent our resources
When we've given our all
In Jesus' name, we press on
Dear Lord, with the prize
Clear before our eyes
We find the strength to press on
Clear before our eyes
We find the strength to press on
In Jesus' name, we press on
Dear Lord, with the prize
Clear before our eyes
We find the strength to press on
To press on
Friday, February 9, 2024
God's Presence
The Lord desires that we hide ourselves in the peace that only He can give, in the peace of His presence. We need to do this in in everything we do, be it in the quiet moments or when we face difficult challenges. We all need to do this, as we walk the path God has assigned us. As we do this remember the Lord's presence is in us and beside us. He also walks in front of us and behind us.
Dear Reader, I know the burdens of life can become heavy and challenging at times. We can walk with joy in our hearts, however, if we remember that the Lord is our burden-carrier. The Lord says in John 16:33 of the New Testament of the Bible that in this world we will have burdens and trouble, but He goes on to say, "But take heart! I have overcome the world!"Friday, February 2, 2024
The Face of Dementia
As our population is aging we hear the word dementia used more often. According to the internet, "Dementia is not a specific disease but is rather a general term for the impaired ability to remember, think, or make decisions that interferes with doing daily activities--- It is a condition characterized by progressive or persistent loss of intellectual functioning especially with impairment of memory and abstract thinking, and often with personality change, resulting from organic disease of the brain."
Dementia is also defined as "a group of thinking and social symptoms that interferes with daily functioning." It often involves memory loss, poor judgment, and impaired social skills. It can cause fear, confusion, and combativeness in the person with dementia. This in turn can cause heartache and negative emotions for the loved ones of people who are experiencing dementia. Dementia can be managed, but there is no known cure at this time.
Loved ones are often scrambling for or searching out the best possible resources and answers for their loved ones with dementia. There never seems to be a perfect answer or solution, and loved ones are left with feelings of guilt, frustration and fatigue because of not being able to do more for their loved ones.
If you know someone with dementia, you can pray for that individual and his or her family. You can visit the person with dementia and shower love and respect on him or her. God has made us in His image, and even people with dementia are reflectors of His image. Sin has tainted the world with diseases of various kinds which can cause havoc. Yet the Lord is still in control. We also can do our part, however, in this world affected by disease. We can pray for those affected, and we can do our part to honor and help them and their loved ones.
Saturday, January 27, 2024
Things Too Wonderful for Me
Psalm 131 is a beautiful Psalm in the Bible which speaks of humbly trusting in the Lord. So often we try to figure out and manage life and it's struggles on our own. We employ and seek out our own devices and solutions to try to solve life's problems and trials. If we do pray to God for answers, we sometimes ask God to solve our problems and heartaches the way we think is best.
Instead, in Psalm 131 the psalmist says, "I do not concern myself with great matters or things too wonderful for me." We can't understand God's ways. We can not fully understand what He has in mind in the issues and trials of life, but He is so much wiser than us. We can rest in His wisdom. The psalmist goes on to say, "But I have stilled and quieted my soul."
The psalmist has stilled and quieted his soul "like a weaned child with His mother." He is content to just be in and enjoy the presence of the Lord. An unweaned child wants something from the mother. The child wants the mother's milk. The weaned child only wants and desires to be in the presence and company of his mom. He is not looking for what the mother can give him, but he just finds solace and comfort and joy in who the mom is as a person.
So it is with God. We can find joy in His presence alone and in who He is as our loving and faithful God. Psalm 131 tell us, "We can find "hope in the Lord both now and forevermore."
Friday, January 19, 2024
Other Life Lessons Taught
(Below is another chapter from my book, Dear Caregiver Reflections for Family Caregivers. This book was written after caring for my first husband, Wayne, for four and a half years. Recently my second husband, Bob entered an assisted living care facility. Even with that, the care and concerns for one's loved ones do not stop. So I still have and always will have a heart for family caregivers.)
"In my last meditation we talked about some of the life lessons taught by care-giving. There are so many lessons a caregiver can learn through his or her experience with care-giving that it can not be contained in just one entry, however. I am sure we could fill many pages talking about life lessons learned while being a caregiver.
Care-giving by its nature teaches what is important and what is not important. It teaches that frivolous material things are NOT important. Family and relationships ARE important. As a caregiver, I was also reminded that my treasures did not lie in earthly things but it heavenly things. My faith in my Lord God and my relationship with Him was and is alone of supreme value. Care-giving, because of its challenges and sometimes heartaches, further often tested my beliefs between what I said I believed and what I really believed in regards to my faith in my Lord.
Another important truth learned from care-giving is that God is good. Circumstances may be bad, but God is good. God is the very definition and essence of goodness. He proved that by sending His son on the cross. Thus, He can help and guide caregivers who are struggling to make their way through the maze of making impossible and confusing decisions about their loves one’s care. He can help caregivers who are struggling to keep emotional and spiritual equilibrium in the midst of the heartaches of seeing their loved ones decline in their health.
Care-giving further teaches that joy can coexist in the midst of the heartaches and grief that often accompany care-giving. This is because joy is not based on circumstances which are favorable or perfect. Rather it is based on a relationship with the Lord.
Finally, care-giving teaches that God is sovereign and in control. Nothing happens to a Christian caregiver (or his or her loved one) that is not filtered through God's love. This is true even in the heartbreaking events which often accompany care-giving. When this truth is accepted, it a soft place to land when overwhelmed with care-giving difficulties or life’s difficulties in general.
Knowing I could trust that God loved me and was in control in the midst of the confusion and grief of my husband's disease and eventual death made and continues to make all the difference in the world. Dear christian caregiver, never forget that the Lord loves you; and He is good. He is in control."
Here is the link to the order page for my book on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Dear-Caregiver-Sharon-Vander-Waal/dp/1629524263/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1482027543&sr=1-1&keywords=Dear+Caregiver It is also found at Barnes and Noble and elsewhere online. Finally, you can contact me personally for a signed copy. Email me for specifics at jesuschild54@hotmail.com
Thursday, January 11, 2024
Valuable Lessons Taught
(On January 10th my huband, Bob, entered an assisted living home. It was both sad and joyful at the same time, because we could see God's fingerprints all over His working in this. We also deeply felt the prayers of those who were praying for us
The following post is a chapter from my book, Dear Caregiver Reflections for Family Caregivers. I published that book in 2014 after being a caregiver for my first husband, Wayne. Since I now find myself in a family care-giving situation again,my heart is still with family caregivers. I think I will always have a heart for family caregivers).
"Care-giving by its very nature, tends to teach valuable life lessons. In many ways, care-giving is a grief process for caregivers, as they see their loved ones continue to decline. As a caregiver for my husband for over four and one half years I also found the care-giving experience to be a great teacher, however.I think care-giving and its challenges teach us that God uses even the difficulties and heartbreak of care-giving for ultimate good. Care-giving (and life in general) is often difficult. Yet we know that God does not waste our sorrows. When we think of Jesus on the cross we know that eternal life came from that death on the cross. From something as awful as Christ’s crucifixion came the best thing that could possibly happen, namely our salvation. So very good things come from very bad things. The cross illustrates that to us. In the same way, God brings ultimate good out of the heartbreak of care-giving. He uses care-giving to build our characters and draw us closer to Himself. God never wastes our sorrows.
I think care-giving also teaches us that life is always out of our control. Hence, seeking self-sufficiency is a terrible place to be. Delusions of strength and self-sufficiency will, in fact, hurt us. Caregivers soon realize that the role of care-giving is too big for them in their own strength. Realizing their need for their dependence on the Lord is essential. Acknowledging one’s weakness and dependence on the Lord is a good thing. It is a valuable lesson to learn. Care-giving often teaches that lesson.
For a variety of reasons sometimes others will let us down and not be there when we need them. The Lord, however, will never let us down or betray us. He alone is the One to whom we can go and pour out our hearts, and also allow Him to speak to us. The Christian caregiver can speak to the Lord all through the day, at any moment. Care-giving and it’s difficulties allows the caregiver an opportunity to pray like never before. I do not know what I would have done without the presence of the Lord in my life during those difficult care-giving years. So care-giving teaches us the value of prayer
Finally, care-giving teaches the need for the promises of the Bible to sustain us. As a caregiver, I found that it was essential to try to begin every day in God’s Word. God’s Word contains so many awesome promises of His care, guidance, and presence. Hence, I found the promises of the Bible comforting and necessary in my duties as a caregiver. Care-giving is so very emotionally, physically, and spiritually draining. Without the promises of God’s Word I do not think I could have survived my care-giving days.
Dear Christian caregiver, read God’s Word. Study it, meditate on it, memorize it, and internalize it. Christian caregiver, lean on the Lord and on His promises in the Bible; and trust that He will bring good out of the chaos of care-giving."
(Here is the link to the order page for my book on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Dear-Caregiver-Sharon-Vander-Waal/dp/1629524263/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1482027543&sr=1-1&keywords=Dear+Caregiver It is also found at Barnes and Noble and elsewhere online. Finally, you can contact me personally for a signed copy. Email me for specifics at jesuschild54@hotmail.com)
Friday, January 5, 2024
The New Year
As we enter yet a new year, the Lord desires that we hide ourselves in the peace that only He can give, in the peace of His presence. We need to do this in everything we do, be it in the quiet moments or when we face difficult challenges. We must do this when we face the day to day duties of care-giving for a love one, our own illness, a job loss, or a host of other possible trials. We all need to do this, as we walk the path God has assigned to us. As we do this, remember the Lord's presence is in us and beside us. He also walks in front of us and behind us.
Dear Reader, I know the burdens of life at times can become heavy. Life can become challenging at times. We can walk with joy in our hearts, however, if we remember that the Lord is our burden-carrier. The Lord says in John 16:33 of the New Testament of the Bible that in this world we will have burdens and trouble, but He goes on to say, "But take heart! I have overcome the world!"2023 had some difficult challenges for me, as I found and contine to find myself once again in a family caregiving situation. 2024 is also beginning to prove challenging. Yet God has never failed me. In fact, He never will fail me. He will not fail you either, dear Reader. Psalm 31:19 says, "How great is Your goodness which You have stored up for those who fear You." We don't need to fear outside circumstances. Instead we need to stand in fear and awe of the Lord and to hunger and thirst for His presence. The psalmist in Psalm 63:7 of the Old Testament of the Bible says, "Because You are my help, I sing in the shadow of Your wings."
This is the pathway to peace no matter what the circumstances. May we all endeavor to rest in that peace. May we resolve to walk in His presence throughout this coming year.