The Lord Understands

Each of us has unique struggles, as we walk through this life. Few of us are free from difficult challenges. Taking care of my husband while he continued to decline due to his neurological disease was one of those very difficult and challenging experiences that I faced. For over four and a half years my husband continued to decline in his health, and he became increasingly dependent on me until his death on January 2, 2011.  

I wrote the following words while I was caring for my husband:  “Lord, give me grace and strength for this role.  Others do not really begin to understand what I am experiencing, but You do, Lord. Thank You for that, Lord.”
     

The challenges of care-giving can be intense. As a caregiver one can feel so alone. Only a fellow caregiver can begin to understand the intensity of the emotions that accompany caring for a loved one who has an incurable disease. As a caregiver sometimes people would say things to me like “You are so strong,” or “You are a good example of perseverance in your Christian life.” This would often make me feel somewhat guilty when they would express such thoughts. I was not strong at all. Were it not for God’s grace and strength I could not have continued to persevere. I did not choose or want that role in life, but it was the path God had assigned to me. I just wanted to be a “normal” couple.
     

When people would say such things it not only sometimes made me feel guilty, but it also made me feel more alone in my struggles. It almost gave me the feeling that I had to live up to a certain image of strength.  When people instead would say that they were praying for me I was truly blessed.  Those people who gave me physical help were also a gift from God to me.

The truth of the matter is that another human being is not able to possibly understand all our physical, emotional, and spiritual struggles. Only God can do that. On a later date I wrote the following words:
     

“My Lord is always advocating for me, and He fully understands everything I am experiencing. Other people may not fully understand, but my Lord does. If I could only always keep that truth in the forefront of my mind.”
     

Dear Caregiver, others will not always understand and identify with the struggles you experience.  Know and rest assured, however, that the Lord identifies with your every need. He also cares about you deeply. He will supply you with the guidance, grace, and strength you need to meet the challenges of each new day. 

(This post is also found as a chapter in my book: DEAR CAREGIVER Reflections for Family Caregivers. You can purchase one my books by clicking on one of the links on the right hand side of this page.)