Why?

As a caregiver, have you ever asked the question, “Why?”  I am sure that I consciously or unconsciously asked myself at one time or another, “Why did my husband get this awful disease? Why are people older than him walking around seemingly healthy and carefree? Why does this disease have to rob us of the relationship we once enjoyed? Why was I assigned the often discouraging and always challenging task of care-giving?” Seeing my husband deteriorate before my eyes during those care-giving years was very discouraging to me. 

These are not easy questions to answer. We can give general answers to these questions, but the whys of the specifics of our lives are sometimes mysteries. We do know that we live in a broken world. The world was created perfect, but sin entered the world through Adam. Through Christ, we as believers are forgiven and restored to a relationship with God. We do still temporarily live in a broken world, however. 

We also know that God has a master plan, but we do not fully understand why He allows certain painful things in our lives. God never promised us a life free from heartache. To the contrary, He said that there would be trouble, heartache, and challenges in this life. He also said that He will give us peace in the midst of it all (John 16:33).  God further uses the challenges to mold our characters to be more like Him.  

Knowing these things does not answer all of our “why?” questions, however. Some of the answers to these questions will remain a mystery in this life. Some of these secret things that we do not understand need to be left with God (Deuteronomy 29:29). This is because God is so much above us that we do not have the capacity to understand Him. He just wants us to trust Him. These “why?” questions remind us that we, as human beings, are not ultimately in control. Sometimes caregivers have to fight so hard for the well-being of their loved ones that they may lose sight of the fact that they really are not in control of the situation. Everything ultimately belongs in the hands of God.  

Perhaps a better question than the “why?” question would be the question, “What can I learn through this, and how can I grow through this care-giving experience?” Another question might be, “How can I bring glory to God through this whole care-giving experience?” Yet another question might be, “How can I put one foot in front of the other and continue to persevere?” 

Dear caregiver, trust that God has the answers when you do not. He does not give us the answer to all of our questions. Instead, He wants to give us Himself. We also need to trust that He has revealed enough of Himself so we can live lives of purpose and obedience. 

(This post is taken from my book DEAR CAREGIVER Reflections for Family Caregivers available online at Amazon, Barnes and Noble and Xulon, my publisher.  See the links on the right hand side of this page. You can also get the book directly from me by emailing me at jesuschild54@hotmail for specifics.)