The Lord is leading you, dear caregiver. He is leading you step by step. Do you truly believe that, dear caregiver? Do you believe it deep down in your heart? I did believe that in my head and yes, I believed that in my heart when I was my husband's caregiver for over four and a half years. Yet I so often let fear and the desire to control heap unnecessary emotional burden on myself. As I said in my last blog post, I think I subconsciously thought that everything I did or did not do could lengthen or shorten the progress of my husband's disease.
It is so easy to worry and to fret. It is so easy to fear. That is why the Bible tells us over and over not to fear and not to worry. The Lord knows our weakness and predisposition to do so. So He keeps reminding us not to fear. I have grown through those care-giving days and in the days since as a widow. God has shown His faithfulness to me over and over. Yet it must be a daily choice to leave things in the Lord's hands. It is the only way to peace.
The truth is that the Lord IS in control. He is leading us and guiding us. A favorite verse of mine is Psalm 32:8. God says to us there, "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you." Hold on to His precious hand in trusting dependence, dear caregiver. You do not know what is going to happen in the future, but He does. You do not know what is going to happen with your loved one for whom you are caring or to yourself even in the next moment. But God is in control. You are merely an instrument in His hand. Rest in Him.
If your loved one's illness is incurable or terminal a grief process may be going on in your heart right now. It is heart wrenching to see one's loved one deteriorate before one's eyes. I know that to be true, because I lived that reality as my husband's caregiver. Yet we can rest in and trust the truth that our loved ones are in the hands of the Lord. Psalm 139:16 says, "All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be."
Hence, dear caregiver, do not add emotional guilt or trying to control situations which are uncontrollable to the already heavy burden of your grief about your loved one's illness. Instead leave it with the Lord. Trust Him to guide your path step by step. In the process just enjoy the Lord's presence, and love your love one as he or she is at the moment.