Choosing Gratitude

Gratitude is one of the most important attitudes that we should cultivate. When I was a family caregiver for my first husband, Wayne, it was difficult to be thankful in the chaos and drama of watching my husband's body deteriorate step by step.  Life became so very overwhelming at times. Life as a widow also involved moments of grief and challenge for me.  Although happily remarried, life continues to have struggles and challenges.  That is the nature of life on this earth.

One of the things that began to help me in this area, I learned as a caregiver for my first husband. The course of action that helped me was to write down a few things each day for which I was thankful. This simple practice did much to open my eyes to the little wonders and love gifts of God which were still in my life.  It is a practice I still carry on today.  I now often write down things for which I am thankful that day based on the promises I find in the Bible in my morning devotions.

I think gratitude has to go even further than writing down a few things for which I am thankful each day, however.  It has to be a heart attitude.  In the measure I  experience this heart attitude in spite of difficult circumstances, there will be joy and peace.

A few years ago I read a book by Nancy Leigh De Moss called Choosing Gratitude.  It is a book I would like to relocate and read again.  In one chapter she listed eight reasons for a grateful heart in spite of circumstances.  One reason is that gratitude is a matter of obedience.  It is commanded by God throughout His Word especially in the Psalms and the New Testament Epistles,  Gratitude also draws us closer to God.  When we long for a greater sense of God's nearness or life's stresses pile up, gratitude to the Lord is the gateway to the Lord's presence.

Gratitude is further the only sure path to peace.  Life difficulties can pile up and become overwhelming.  Prayer is a good avenue of release, but it must be accompanied with gratitude (Philippians 4:6-7.)  When gratitude combines with prayer and we open our eyes to God's blessings and mercies even in the midst of heartaches, peace follows.  When we thank God even when we can't understand what He is doing in our lives, there is peace.

Gratitude is also a gauge to our heart.  It is often easy to be thankful for the obvious blessings.  It is less easy to be thankful for the more difficult and hard to understand blessings.  If one is thankful in all things, it shows a heart which believes that God is always faithful and good and can be trusted. Giving thanks in all things is not acquired in a moment.  It is the result of many choices to be thankful even in difficult moments.

Gratitude is the will of God.  Choosing it is more important than choices we make about any other of life's decisions.  All other life decisions pale in comparison to choosing gratitude.  Gratitude is proof of being filled with the Holy Spirit.  It is evidence that we are yielding to His control. Gratitude further reflects Jesus' heart.  Even the night before Jesus was put on the cross He showed gratitude to the Heavenly Father in His prayers at the Last Supper.  He gratefully and willingly submitted to the Father's will in spite of the horrors of the cross just before Him.

Finally, gratitude prepares us for heaven.  Think of all the saints in heaven praising God before His throne.  My first husband is no longer suffering from his neurological disease, but he is praising God before His throne right now! So are other loved ones who have gone on before me.  I too can join in that praise by thanking and praising the Lord now.  Life is often difficult.  Yet in the measure we thank God in and even for the difficulties peace will follow.  Resolve with me to walk that path, dear reader.

God's Wonderful Plan A

God has laid on my heart a certain truth many times in the past few years.  Nancy Guthrie writes about this truth in her book, The One Year Book of Hope.    Nancy says, "God's plan for your life is unfolding, and nothing and nobody can hinder it---Whatever is happening in your life, you can welcome it as God's sovereign Plan A.  God carries out His own good purposes without mistakes or regrets, and His plan is never thwarted."

Nancy also says that Satan tries to scheme and destroy, and many things in this life are difficult and sometimes tragic.  God doesn't run behind Satan, however, frantically trying to clean up his messes.  God is not forced to go to Plan B.  Satan's schemes do not catch God off guard.

God, even in the tragedies and sad moments of life, always has a good plan for our lives.  He is always working for His glory and for our spiritual good.  It was God's Plan A that I was a caregiver for my first husband, Wayne.  It  was God's plan A that I became a widow.   God's plan A was in operation for my life in the years and events that have followed in both the times of joy and heartache.  It was God's Plan A for me, when I began a new chapter in my life with a man I love.  Bob and I were married in July of 2019.

God's Plan A is always in place for you as well, dear reader.  This is true in all the events of your life.  He is rejoicing with you in your joys and is always there to comfort you in your sorrows.  Let's then rejoice in our faithful King and Savior.

Afflictions-Gifts from God?

"Afflictions are painful, but they are also a gift from God."  Such was a comment made recently in a church sermon in my church.  Really?  How does that work?  Doesn't it seem as if we go from one trial of affliction to another in our lives?  I remember even childhood hurts, periods of unemployment, loss of parents, cancer in my own body, watching my first husband decline over a period of four and a half years and then die.  I am presently lamenting my sister's cancer diagnosis, and a close family member's spiral down in his life.  I am further lamenting the upheavals the corona virus has caused in our world and has caused in the normality of our lives  So how are afflictions a gift from God?

II Corinthians chapter one in the New Testament tells us that a child of God receives comfort from the Lord when going through difficult times.  In fact, afflictions, trials, suffering, fuels God's comfort.  Therefore, we need to run to the Lord and not outside resources for our comfort in difficult times.  If we do this, we will begin to see our difficult times as gifts from God, because we are receiving God's comfort in the process.  His comfort then produces joy in our lives in spite of the difficult circumstances.  This is a wonderful testimony to the world around us.  When we suffer difficult times this in turn enables us to better comfort and help others in their trials.  So yes, trials and afflictions are meant to be a gift from God.

This is not to say, that trials and afflictions are good in themselves.  I hurt deeply in my past trials.  I hurt deeply also in my current trials.  The Psalms are also full of the writers lamenting one difficult situation after another.  God cares about our sorrows.  Yet, it is good to know that He even uses our afflictions for good purposes in our lives and in the lives of others.  He also draws us closer to Him in a wonderful relationship through these things, and He makes us depend on Him and not on other useless resources in the process.  God is good.

(My sister, Nancy, who was just diagnosed with a serious cancer gives testimony of this along with her husband.  Nancy says this, "'When our world is shaken, when our hope is broken, still you are God of all!' Even when we go through very tough times and trials such as a pandemic, and a cancer diagnosis, we still have an amazing God who is in control! All the glory and honor belongs to our Lord and Savior!"

Our God is Amazing!

They sang of their hope in the Lord in the wonderful song  below.  Just click on the link.  You will be blessed.)


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SDit4Dsyshw&feature=share&fbclid=IwAR1kpCnFUdZa2Grqm2cRjvIDhwpJuWAMNWnNhib6FyTYaMz5cXs7Xymn0Hg

Six Year Anniversary

Recently Facebook Memories reminded me that is was a little over six years ago that I published my book, Dear Caregiver Reflections for Family Caregivers.  Writing and promoting the book six years ago stirred up emotions about my own difficult days of seeing my first husband, Wayne, decline in his body and then losing him to death.  I also had some fears.  Satan would have liked me to feel like no one was going to read the book, but I also knew it was in God's hands.  I further felt a passion to help current caregivers.  That is the reason I started this blog, and that is the reason I wrote my book.

In spite of the emotions I was excited  about the new book.  This book and other events in those six years since the publication of this book has helped other family caregivers including my current husband, Bob, who read the book while taking care of his wife at that time.  For that I am very thankful to the Lord.

If you are a family caregiver or know someone who is a family caregiver consider reading this book.  It is available at the Amazon link below.  It is also available at Barnes and Nobles below and elsewhere online.  It is further available from me directly at jesuschild54@hotmail.com  Just contact me there for details.


Once again here is the Amazon link to the order page for my book:
rhttps://www.amazon.com/Dear-Caregiver-Sharon-Vander-Waal/dp/1629524263/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1482027543&sr=1-1&keywords=Dear+Caregiver

Here is the Barnes and Noble link:  https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/dear-caregiver-sharon-vander-waal/1119198854?ean=9781629524269

Sing Your Way Through Suffering

Last week in my post we talked about the reasons for suffering in our world. During these times and in all times of life, whether pleasant or difficult, we need to pray, read Scripture, and develop our relationship with the Lord.  Today we talk about the wonderful place singing has in times of trial.  Singing can be a source of comfort.  It also lifts us up and honors God, if we praise Him in the midst of suffering. 

Many of you are suffering the ill-effects of the corona virus and/or the repercussions of the stay at home policies connected with the virus.  Some people have lost jobs or have their hours cut back.  Many of us are missing attending church every week.  Live stream online services are wonderful, but it is not the same thing as worshiping with God's people in person each week.  Many people are also feeling isolated in their own homes or in a nursing home.  My heart goes out to family caregivers and their loved ones at this time.  How isolated, unsupported, and alone they must feel.

Joni Eareckson Tada writes about this in the below article.  She talks about the value and blessing of singing though our sufferings.  Just click on the below link.  It will be worth your time.



https://www.joniandfriends.org/sing-your-way-through-suffering/?fbclid=IwAR3G3hAWa4KxYukilkLKe2KSncuWgfGBQE_rDOKx1YsicmHgDePlNVjgT00

Why Is There Suffering In This World?

Why does God allow suffering in the lives of Christians?  Why are we living in an increasingly dangerous world of persecution and suffering? Why has a world-wide virus appeared on the scene causing havoc in people's lives?  Why is there abuse of all kinds and hardships in our world? If you are a family caregiver, why did your loved one become ill?  Why is there suffering of any kind in this world? If God is a God of miracles, why doesn't God just fix things?

There are no easy answers to these questions.  We do know that sin entered this world when Adam and Eve, the first people, disobeyed God.  Hence, we no longer live in a perfect world.  It is now a world affected by sorrow and sickness.  Also people make bad choices sometimes which unfortunately affects other people as well.

Jesus said we would face trials in this life.  He also said, however, that we can take heart, because He has overcome the world (John 16:33 in the New Testament of the Bible).  He has promised to always be with us and never leave or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5b in the New Testament).  We also have the assurance that someday all will be made right and perfect when He returns.

Being my first husband's caregiver and watching his body deteriorate and fighting breast cancer myself during part of that time was a very difficult experience for me. There have been trials that have continued/continue to follow me in the years since that time in my life such as family members who are going through trials I never would have imagined.  This by default affects me and those who love me.  Why did/does God allow that in my life?  

There are no easy answers to these questions.  I do know God has used the difficult experiences in my life to teach me valuable lessons.  I am learning that I am not in control.  I am learning of the need to depend on the Lord, even though I still am prone to fret and try to solve things in my own strength.  I am learning of the need to seek God for Himself and not for what He can give me.  I have seen His faithfulness over and over.  Through trials I have grown and continue to grow in my love for the Lord. I have come to know not just in my head but in my heart in a deeper way the truths of His promises.  I often still get easily discouraged, but I know that feelings are not a measure of God's truths.  Feelings do not negate God's promises to always be with me.

We have just experienced another Easter in mid April, even though because of the Coronavirus it was a very different Easter.  Christ suffered unimaginable suffering, so we could be saved. Easter also assures us of His presence in our lives through the trials we suffer.  It proves His love for us.  We need no other proof of Christ's love, when we really contemplate what He did for us. Rest in that, dear reader.

  

April's Anniversaries

April brings to mind significant milestones in my life.  Twelve years ago in April after an eight month period, I completed all my cancer treatments. Then April is the month in 2006 when we had our first indication that my first husband, Wayne, had a serious neurological disease.

April of this year also marks the sixth anniversary of the publication of my book, Dear Caregiver Reflections for Family Caregivers.  As  many of you may know my passion to encourage caregivers was ignited as a result of my own experience of being my husband's caregiver for four and a half years.  I experienced the emotions and struggles of a spouse and family caregiver who step by step saw her husband deteriorate and become more and more disabled.   As a result I first started this caregiver blog a few months after Wayne's death in early 2011, and then at the encouragement of one of my readers I wrote my book, Dear Caregiver Reflections for Family Caregivers which was published in April of 2014.

Below is the synopsis written on the back cover of the book.  Part of it is a repeat of what I already said.  I apologize for that:

"Family care-giving for a loved one with a serious illness is a very noble and important role. It is also often a challenging and emotionally and physically draining endeavor. DEAR CAREGIVER is a book written to encourage caregivers in this all consuming but vital ministry for which many caregivers feel ill equipped. This book points to the Lord as the caregiver's source of strength. The book further seeks to provide practical and spiritual encouragement to family caregivers who have lovingly taken on a role which they did not anticipate or perhaps desire. 

The author is a mother and grandmother, and she was married to her husband, Wayne, for over thirty-nine years. In 2006 Wayne was diagnosed with a serious neurological disease. The author was Wayne's caregiver for four and a half years until his death in early 2011. She knows the heartache and physical and emotional stress of being a caregiver for a loved one. Hence, her passion is to encourage family caregivers in their struggles. 

The book starts with a brief synopsis of the author's personal care-giving story followed by over one hundred brief meditations written to encourage current caregivers. The author seeks to stay connected to her readers by relevant examples from her own care-giving experiences in order to drive home messages in the text and to enable the readers to persevere in the challenges of family care-giving. It is the author's desire to facilitate this goal through her willingness to be vulnerable and honest about the feelings and emotions she experienced as a caregiver for her husband. She explores both the blessings and challenges of care-giving and the blessing of drawing closer to the Lord through the experience."

You can order the book at Amazon which is the first link below.  Your can also order elsewhere online and at Barnes and Noble which is the link below the Amazon link.  Amazon has a Kindle version and Barnes and Noble has a Nook version as well as a paperback version.  Finally you can order directly from me by contacting me for details at jesuschild54@hotmail.com  If you order directly from me it will be a signed copy:


https://www.amazon.com/Dear-Caregiver-Sharon-Vander-Waal/dp/1629524263/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1482027543&sr=1-1&keywords=Dear+Caregiver

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/dear-caregiver-sharon-vander-waal/1119198854?ean=9781629524269