(Below is another chapter from my book, Dear Caregiver Reflections for Family Caregivers.)
In my last meditation we talked about some of the life lessons taught by care-giving. There are so many lessons a caregiver can learn through his or her experience with care-giving that it can not be contained in just one entry, however. I am sure we could fill many pages talking about life lessons learned while being a caregiver.
Care-giving by its nature teaches what is important and what is not important. It teaches that frivolous material things are NOT important. Family and relationships ARE important. As a caregiver, I was also reminded that my treasures did not lie in earthly things but it heavenly things. My faith in my Lord God and my relationship with Him was and is alone of supreme value. Care-giving, because of its challenges and sometimes heartaches, further often tested my beliefs between what I said I believed and what I really believed in regards to my faith in my Lord.
Another important truth learned from care-giving is that God is good. Circumstances may be bad, but God is good. God is the very definition and essence of goodness. He proved that by sending His son on the cross. Thus, He can help and guide caregivers who are struggling to make their way through the maze of making impossible and confusing decisions about their loves one’s care. He can help caregivers who are struggling to keep emotional and spiritual equilibrium in the midst of the heartaches of seeing their loved ones decline in their health.
Care-giving further teaches that joy can coexist in the midst of the heartaches and grief that often accompany care-giving. This is because joy is not based on circumstances which are favorable or perfect. Rather it is based on a relationship with the Lord.
Finally, care-giving teaches that God is sovereign and in control. Nothing happens to a Christian caregiver (or his or her loved one) that is not filtered through God's love. This is true even in the heartbreaking events which often accompany care-giving. When this truth is accepted, it a soft place to land when overwhelmed with care-giving difficulties or life’s difficulties in general.
Knowing I could trust that God loved me and was in control in the midst of the confusion and grief of my husband's disease and eventual death made and continues to make all the difference in the world. Dear christian caregiver, never forget that the Lord loves you; and He is good. He is in control.
Here is the link to the order page for my book on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Dear-Caregiver-Sharon-Vander-Waal/dp/1629524263/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1482027543&sr=1-1&keywords=Dear+Caregiver It is also found at Barnes and Noble and elsewhere online. Finally, you can contact me personally for a signed copy. Email me for specifics at jesuschild54@hotmail.com
Sunday, January 28, 2018
Sunday, January 21, 2018
Valuable Lessons Taught
(This post is a chapter from my book, Dear Caregiver Reflections for Family Caregivers.)
Care-giving by its very nature, tends to teach valuable life lessons. In many ways, care-giving is a grief process for caregivers as they see their loved ones continue to decline. As a caregiver for my husband for over four and one half years I also found the care-giving experience to be a great teacher, however.
I think care-giving and its challenges teach us that God uses even the difficulties and heartbreak of care-giving for ultimate good. Care-giving (and life in general) is often difficult. Yet we know that God does not waste our sorrows. When we think of Jesus on the cross we know that eternal life came from that death on the cross. From something as awful as Christ’s crucifixion came the best thing that could possibly happen, namely our salvation. So very good things come from very bad things. The cross illustrates that to us. In the same way, God brings ultimate good out of the heartbreak of care-giving. He uses care-giving to build our characters and draw us closer to Himself. God never wastes our sorrows.
I think care-giving also teaches us that life is always out of our control. Hence, seeking self-sufficiency is a terrible place to be. Delusions of strength and self-sufficiency will, in fact, hurt us. Caregivers soon realize that the role of care-giving is too big for them in their own strength. Realizing their need for their dependence on the Lord is essential. Acknowledging one’s weakness and dependence on the Lord is a good thing. It is a valuable lesson to learn. Care-giving often teaches that lesson.
For a variety of reasons sometimes others will let us down and not be there when we need them. The Lord, however, will never let us down or betray us. He alone is the One to whom we can go and pour out our hearts, and also allow Him to speak to us. The Christian caregiver can speak to the Lord all through the day, at any moment. Care-giving and it’s difficulties allows the caregiver an opportunity to pray like never before. I do not know what I would have done without the presence of the Lord in my life during those difficult care-giving years. So care-giving teaches us the value of prayer
Finally, care-giving teaches the need for the promises of the Bible to sustain us. As a caregiver, I found that it was essential to try to begin every day in God’s Word. God’s Word contains so many awesome promises of His care, guidance, and presence. Hence, I found the promises of the Bible comforting and necessary in my duties as a caregiver. Care-giving is so very emotionally, physically, and spiritually draining. Without the promises of God’s Word I do not think I could have survived my care-giving days.
Dear Christian caregiver, read God’s Word. Study it, meditate on it, memorize it, and internalize it. Christian caregiver, lean on the Lord and on His promises in the Bible; and trust that He will bring good out of the chaos of care-giving.
Here is the link to the order page for my book on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Dear-Caregiver-Sharon-Vander-Waal/dp/1629524263/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1482027543&sr=1-1&keywords=Dear+Caregiver It is also found at Barnes and Noble and elsewhere online. Finally, you can contact me personally for a signed copy. Email me for specifics at jesuschild54@hotmail.com
Care-giving by its very nature, tends to teach valuable life lessons. In many ways, care-giving is a grief process for caregivers as they see their loved ones continue to decline. As a caregiver for my husband for over four and one half years I also found the care-giving experience to be a great teacher, however.
I think care-giving and its challenges teach us that God uses even the difficulties and heartbreak of care-giving for ultimate good. Care-giving (and life in general) is often difficult. Yet we know that God does not waste our sorrows. When we think of Jesus on the cross we know that eternal life came from that death on the cross. From something as awful as Christ’s crucifixion came the best thing that could possibly happen, namely our salvation. So very good things come from very bad things. The cross illustrates that to us. In the same way, God brings ultimate good out of the heartbreak of care-giving. He uses care-giving to build our characters and draw us closer to Himself. God never wastes our sorrows.
I think care-giving also teaches us that life is always out of our control. Hence, seeking self-sufficiency is a terrible place to be. Delusions of strength and self-sufficiency will, in fact, hurt us. Caregivers soon realize that the role of care-giving is too big for them in their own strength. Realizing their need for their dependence on the Lord is essential. Acknowledging one’s weakness and dependence on the Lord is a good thing. It is a valuable lesson to learn. Care-giving often teaches that lesson.
For a variety of reasons sometimes others will let us down and not be there when we need them. The Lord, however, will never let us down or betray us. He alone is the One to whom we can go and pour out our hearts, and also allow Him to speak to us. The Christian caregiver can speak to the Lord all through the day, at any moment. Care-giving and it’s difficulties allows the caregiver an opportunity to pray like never before. I do not know what I would have done without the presence of the Lord in my life during those difficult care-giving years. So care-giving teaches us the value of prayer
Finally, care-giving teaches the need for the promises of the Bible to sustain us. As a caregiver, I found that it was essential to try to begin every day in God’s Word. God’s Word contains so many awesome promises of His care, guidance, and presence. Hence, I found the promises of the Bible comforting and necessary in my duties as a caregiver. Care-giving is so very emotionally, physically, and spiritually draining. Without the promises of God’s Word I do not think I could have survived my care-giving days.
Dear Christian caregiver, read God’s Word. Study it, meditate on it, memorize it, and internalize it. Christian caregiver, lean on the Lord and on His promises in the Bible; and trust that He will bring good out of the chaos of care-giving.
Here is the link to the order page for my book on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Dear-Caregiver-Sharon-Vander-Waal/dp/1629524263/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1482027543&sr=1-1&keywords=Dear+Caregiver It is also found at Barnes and Noble and elsewhere online. Finally, you can contact me personally for a signed copy. Email me for specifics at jesuschild54@hotmail.com
Sunday, January 14, 2018
No New Post This Week
Because of illness I decided not to post a new post this week. Hopefully my next blog post will appear again on or around January 21. Use this time to reread some of the older entries. May the Lord bless you for all that you do for your loved ones.
Sharon
Sharon
Sunday, January 7, 2018
The Peace of His Presence
As we enter yet a new year, the Lord desires that we hide ourselves in the peace that only He can give, in the peace of His presence. We need to do this in in everything we do, be it in the quiet moments or when we face difficult challenges. Caregivers, you must do this when you face the day to day duties of care-giving. We all need to do this, as we walk the path God has assigned us. As we do this remember the Lord's presence is in us and beside us. He also walks in front of us and behind us.
Dear caregiver, I know the burdens of care-giving at times can become heavy. Life itself can become challenging at times. We can walk with joy in our hearts, however, if we remember that the Lord is our burden-carrier. The Lord says in John 16:33 of the New Testament of the Bible that in this world we will have burdens and trouble, but He goes on to say, "But take heart! I have overcome the world!"
I am no longer a family caregiver, but I do face the challenges of now being a widow. I do face the challenges of life in general. It is good to know that the Lord is with me and has already overcome the world! 2017 had some difficult challenges for me, but God never failed me. He will not fail you either, dear caregiver. Psalm 31:19 says, "How great is Your goodness which You have stored up for those who fear You." We don't need to fear outside circumstances. We need to stand in fear and awe of the Lord and to hunger and thirst for His presence. The psalmist in Psalm 63:7 of the Old Testament of the Bible says, "Because You are my help, I sing in the shadow of Your wings."
This is the pathway to peace no matter what the circumstances. May we all endeavor to rest in that peace. May we resolve to walk in His presence throughout this coming year.
Dear caregiver, I know the burdens of care-giving at times can become heavy. Life itself can become challenging at times. We can walk with joy in our hearts, however, if we remember that the Lord is our burden-carrier. The Lord says in John 16:33 of the New Testament of the Bible that in this world we will have burdens and trouble, but He goes on to say, "But take heart! I have overcome the world!"
I am no longer a family caregiver, but I do face the challenges of now being a widow. I do face the challenges of life in general. It is good to know that the Lord is with me and has already overcome the world! 2017 had some difficult challenges for me, but God never failed me. He will not fail you either, dear caregiver. Psalm 31:19 says, "How great is Your goodness which You have stored up for those who fear You." We don't need to fear outside circumstances. We need to stand in fear and awe of the Lord and to hunger and thirst for His presence. The psalmist in Psalm 63:7 of the Old Testament of the Bible says, "Because You are my help, I sing in the shadow of Your wings."
This is the pathway to peace no matter what the circumstances. May we all endeavor to rest in that peace. May we resolve to walk in His presence throughout this coming year.
Sunday, December 31, 2017
Entering the New Year
We are entering a new year and leaving behind the old year. For me the old year was a year of countless blessings. It was also a year that had its share of trials. In March my Mom passed away. The last few months have also included a major back pain flare-up and many accompanying appointments. Further, there were a couple major family issues. Finally, this time of year is the anniversary of my husband's death seven years ago and a reminder of the disabling effects of his disease in the years before that.
Recently while I was reading one of my devotional books I was reminded that when plagued by an ongoing and persistent trial one should look at it a a rich teaching opportunity. God is trying to teach me and teach all of us many things through the trials and problems of life. What we can learn through these opportunities are only limited by our willingness to listen to the voice of God and be teachable. For me my recent back issues, which are slowly getting better, have reminded me how dependent I am on the the Lord.
This same devotional reminded me that I need to be thankful for all that God is accomplishing in my life through all the problems and trials. I need to actually thank Him for the trials and problems. That is often difficult to do in the midst of them, but in the measure I can do that it will both praise God and lift me up as well. In yet another devotional I read that same morning I read this, "Suffering calls us out of our shallowness into the dangerous and demanding but ultimately delightful depths of an intense life with God" (Nancy Guthrie from her book: The One Year Book of Hope)
Psalm 50:14 in the Old Testament of the Bible says, "Sacrifice thank offerings to God, fulfill your vows to the Most High. Another translation says, "Bring your thanks to God as a sacrifice." Sometimes praise and thanks seems almost impossible in the midst of a trial, but a sacrifice of praise in spite of our feelings can bring huge blessings. God says to us in Psalm 50:23, "He who sacrifices thank offerings honors Me, and he prepares the way so that I may show him the salvation of God."
This new year will present us with new challenges and blessings. Some will be pleasant. Some may be very difficult. Some of you will enter the new year with the ongoing challenges of family care-giving. Some will also have other challenges. Trust the Lord through it all. Seek the Lord and rest in Him through it all. Even seek to bring the Lord a sacrifice of praise through it all.
Recently while I was reading one of my devotional books I was reminded that when plagued by an ongoing and persistent trial one should look at it a a rich teaching opportunity. God is trying to teach me and teach all of us many things through the trials and problems of life. What we can learn through these opportunities are only limited by our willingness to listen to the voice of God and be teachable. For me my recent back issues, which are slowly getting better, have reminded me how dependent I am on the the Lord.
This same devotional reminded me that I need to be thankful for all that God is accomplishing in my life through all the problems and trials. I need to actually thank Him for the trials and problems. That is often difficult to do in the midst of them, but in the measure I can do that it will both praise God and lift me up as well. In yet another devotional I read that same morning I read this, "Suffering calls us out of our shallowness into the dangerous and demanding but ultimately delightful depths of an intense life with God" (Nancy Guthrie from her book: The One Year Book of Hope)
Psalm 50:14 in the Old Testament of the Bible says, "Sacrifice thank offerings to God, fulfill your vows to the Most High. Another translation says, "Bring your thanks to God as a sacrifice." Sometimes praise and thanks seems almost impossible in the midst of a trial, but a sacrifice of praise in spite of our feelings can bring huge blessings. God says to us in Psalm 50:23, "He who sacrifices thank offerings honors Me, and he prepares the way so that I may show him the salvation of God."
This new year will present us with new challenges and blessings. Some will be pleasant. Some may be very difficult. Some of you will enter the new year with the ongoing challenges of family care-giving. Some will also have other challenges. Trust the Lord through it all. Seek the Lord and rest in Him through it all. Even seek to bring the Lord a sacrifice of praise through it all.
Sunday, December 24, 2017
Hope on This Christmas Eve
(The following post is a blog post that I have published around Christmas the last few years. Once again, I pray that the Lord will bless your Christmas with His love and comfort, dear caregiver.)
December is the month that we think of Christmas and hope. Dear caregiver, is your life weighed down with care and worry this Christmas season; or is it filled with hope? I remember my care-giving years during which I saw my husband continue to decline in his health step by step. It was tempting at such times to give up hope. Hope is something all of us can possess no matter how difficult our circumstances, however.
During the holiday season we are reminded of the birth of Jesus Christ. Over two thousand years ago before Jesus was born most of the people were living without very much hope. Then in Luke chapter two of the Bible we read that an angel appeared to Mary and told her that she was being blessed by God's grace in becoming the mother of Jesus. Jesus Christ was coming as the Savior of His people!
Mary's response to this was openhearted acceptance (Luke 1:38). Mary would suffer many immediate problems being the mother of Jesus. She would experience many heartaches in her future. Because Mary now had hope, however, she was willing to accept God's will for her life with joy. A life secure in the Lord's hope can move with confidence through life in spite of difficulties and challenges.
Life as a caregiver can be very heartbreaking and challenging. There are times when the circumstances of care-giving can be overwhelming. But like Mary in the Bible we too can have hope no matter what our circumstances. Dear caregiver, rest your care-giving heartaches with the Lord. Know that He is the source of strength and hope. His hope is not a wishful thinking type of hope, but it is a hope based on His certain promises in the Bible. His hope is secure and will never leave you.
December is the month that we think of Christmas and hope. Dear caregiver, is your life weighed down with care and worry this Christmas season; or is it filled with hope? I remember my care-giving years during which I saw my husband continue to decline in his health step by step. It was tempting at such times to give up hope. Hope is something all of us can possess no matter how difficult our circumstances, however.
During the holiday season we are reminded of the birth of Jesus Christ. Over two thousand years ago before Jesus was born most of the people were living without very much hope. Then in Luke chapter two of the Bible we read that an angel appeared to Mary and told her that she was being blessed by God's grace in becoming the mother of Jesus. Jesus Christ was coming as the Savior of His people!
Mary's response to this was openhearted acceptance (Luke 1:38). Mary would suffer many immediate problems being the mother of Jesus. She would experience many heartaches in her future. Because Mary now had hope, however, she was willing to accept God's will for her life with joy. A life secure in the Lord's hope can move with confidence through life in spite of difficulties and challenges.
Life as a caregiver can be very heartbreaking and challenging. There are times when the circumstances of care-giving can be overwhelming. But like Mary in the Bible we too can have hope no matter what our circumstances. Dear caregiver, rest your care-giving heartaches with the Lord. Know that He is the source of strength and hope. His hope is not a wishful thinking type of hope, but it is a hope based on His certain promises in the Bible. His hope is secure and will never leave you.
Sunday, December 17, 2017
Wonderful Gifts
(I am bringing back today a post that I published in previous Decembers. I hope you are experiencing a blessed Christmas season, dear caregiver.)
What kind of Christmas do you anticipate this year, dear Christian caregiver? Perhaps your Christmas will involve a lot of extra work for you in addition to the challenges and responsibilities of care-giving, or perhaps you are feeling isolated and ignored and all alone this Christmas in your care-giving responsibilities. Instead, however perhaps you will experience Christmas this year as a reminder of your blessings and as a blessed respite from the drama of care-giving.
Whatever we experience this Christmas and with every gift we receive at Christmas or at any time of year we have to open our hands to receive the gift; or the gift does not benefit us or give us any joy. The gifts we receive which are eternally precious, however, are the gifts which God wants to give us.
The Lord first offers us the gift of salvation which is what Christmas and walking with the Lord is all about. He further offers us the accompanying gifts of joy, peace, and hope. They are ours for the taking; and yes, dear Christian caregiver, they can coexist with the pain and heartache which often are present in care-giving. Further, the Lord promises us a happy ending. That happy ending is eternal life. Christian caregiver, the heartaches that sometimes accompany care-giving are but a comma in your life story. They are not the end of your life’s story. They are not the end of your loved one’s life story for whom you are caring either.
We also can all receive other gifts. We can receive the gift of trust in God and letting Him control our lives. We receive this gift by resting in Him and by letting go of anything which we are holding onto too tightly or trying to control. As a former caregiver I know how much we want to stop the progress of our love one’s disease, but much of this is beyond our control.
We also all have to let go of feelings of unforgiveness for people who have not been there for us. We further have to receive the gift of forgiveness for ourselves We have to bring to the Lord any true wrongs, and ask for His forgiveness. Further, we often carry around a lot of false guilt about things beyond our control. So whether false guilt or true guilt we need to let it go. We need to give it to the Lord. Trust and letting go are great gifts to have in our lives. Caregivers often carry around a lot of guilt. Dear caregiver, receive the gift of releasing it to the Lord.
One great gift we can give ourselves is the gift of acceptance of our situation. We often waste so much energy wishing circumstances were different, but we can rest assured that we are right where we are supposed to be in our lives. Dear Christian caregiver, your responsibilities are emotionally overwhelming at times. I know that because I experienced it, but in the measure that you can accept where God has placed you now in your life you will find joy. It is a great gift you can give yourself.
Yet another wonderful gift we can give ourselves is the gift of being still in the presence of God. (Psalm 46:10) Doing this helps us grow in peace, wisdom, and insights. Finally, we can give ourselves the gift of gratitude. When we are grateful in spite of our circumstances our joy and blessings will multiply and resentments will flee.
Christian caregiver, you have many challenges and sometimes you experience much emotional upheaval as a caregiver of your loved one. Would not these be wonderful gifts to have in your life? These are wonderful gifts not just for Christmas but all year long!
What kind of Christmas do you anticipate this year, dear Christian caregiver? Perhaps your Christmas will involve a lot of extra work for you in addition to the challenges and responsibilities of care-giving, or perhaps you are feeling isolated and ignored and all alone this Christmas in your care-giving responsibilities. Instead, however perhaps you will experience Christmas this year as a reminder of your blessings and as a blessed respite from the drama of care-giving.
Whatever we experience this Christmas and with every gift we receive at Christmas or at any time of year we have to open our hands to receive the gift; or the gift does not benefit us or give us any joy. The gifts we receive which are eternally precious, however, are the gifts which God wants to give us.
The Lord first offers us the gift of salvation which is what Christmas and walking with the Lord is all about. He further offers us the accompanying gifts of joy, peace, and hope. They are ours for the taking; and yes, dear Christian caregiver, they can coexist with the pain and heartache which often are present in care-giving. Further, the Lord promises us a happy ending. That happy ending is eternal life. Christian caregiver, the heartaches that sometimes accompany care-giving are but a comma in your life story. They are not the end of your life’s story. They are not the end of your loved one’s life story for whom you are caring either.
We also can all receive other gifts. We can receive the gift of trust in God and letting Him control our lives. We receive this gift by resting in Him and by letting go of anything which we are holding onto too tightly or trying to control. As a former caregiver I know how much we want to stop the progress of our love one’s disease, but much of this is beyond our control.
We also all have to let go of feelings of unforgiveness for people who have not been there for us. We further have to receive the gift of forgiveness for ourselves We have to bring to the Lord any true wrongs, and ask for His forgiveness. Further, we often carry around a lot of false guilt about things beyond our control. So whether false guilt or true guilt we need to let it go. We need to give it to the Lord. Trust and letting go are great gifts to have in our lives. Caregivers often carry around a lot of guilt. Dear caregiver, receive the gift of releasing it to the Lord.
One great gift we can give ourselves is the gift of acceptance of our situation. We often waste so much energy wishing circumstances were different, but we can rest assured that we are right where we are supposed to be in our lives. Dear Christian caregiver, your responsibilities are emotionally overwhelming at times. I know that because I experienced it, but in the measure that you can accept where God has placed you now in your life you will find joy. It is a great gift you can give yourself.
Yet another wonderful gift we can give ourselves is the gift of being still in the presence of God. (Psalm 46:10) Doing this helps us grow in peace, wisdom, and insights. Finally, we can give ourselves the gift of gratitude. When we are grateful in spite of our circumstances our joy and blessings will multiply and resentments will flee.
Christian caregiver, you have many challenges and sometimes you experience much emotional upheaval as a caregiver of your loved one. Would not these be wonderful gifts to have in your life? These are wonderful gifts not just for Christmas but all year long!
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