Honest With Our Emotions and Struggles

 

It is important to be honest with our emotions whether in active grief, or if we are just facing the every day challenges of life. Below is a devotional from one of my GriefShare messages which come daily to my e-mail box:

Do you embrace honesty as a foundational principle in your life?

If yes, then honestly evaluate your emotions right now. What emotions and struggles have you experienced from the first moment of your grief until now, including those you have not admitted to others? Be honest with yourself and with other people.

“When you are suffering, you may sometimes tend to withdraw, pull back, and pull away,” says Anne Graham Lotz. “I do think there is a time for that, and each day you should spend time alone with the Lord. But don’t forsake other people, because other people can give you comfort and encouragement and help you keep your focus. Sometimes you can get so preoccupied with the problem that it consumes you. Other people can help give you a balance.”

God wants you to be truthful with yourself and with other people. He wants to free you from the debilitating effects of withdrawing and hiding your emotions. Jesus says in the book of John that “the truth will set you free.” Read the book of John to learn more about Jesus' teaching, His truth, and true freedom.

“Jesus said, ‘If you hold to my teaching, you are really my disciples. Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free…. So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed” (John 8:31-32, 36).

Lord Jesus, I want to be set free. Amen.

Moving On or Moving Forward?

 

Does one move on, or do we or move forward to a larger life with and in the Lord after the death of a loved one?  Is the healthy path to grief healing mean we need to emotionally disconnect from the loved one who has passed, or is it or something else?  The answer is that for emotional healing to take place one has to gradually move forward in one's life.  This does not mean we deny that our loved one has died, because we will always hold on to them emotionally to some degree through our thoughts and memories.  We will also continue to  be ambushed by grief at times maybe even years later especially on special days like anniversaries and birthdays. 

 Further, our personalities and values are often formed by the people who came before us and influenced us.  God has sovereignly shaped us to be the people we are by the grandparents, parents, spouses, and circumstances that He has orchestrated in our lives. We become the people God has planned us to be and whom He is shaping us to be largely by the people He has allowed in our lives.  So treasure the memories and cherish the good values instilled.  They are a gift and part of whom we are.  

Helen Keller is quoted saying this, "What we  have once enjoyed and deeply loved we can never lose, for all that we love deeply becomes a part of us."  Our memories of them are also a continued connection with our loved ones while we are still on this earth and until we reunite with them in Eternity.  

Grief Letter

 

Dear Friends and Family,

I am part of a community grief share group, and it was suggested that we share a letter with our friends and family.  A few months ago I suffered the lost of my husband.  This was the second husband that the Lord has asked me to bury.  It will take me awhile to live with my loss once again, although one never completely gets over a  grief lost.  One just learns to live with it.  it becomes more manageable,  and it becomes part of who one is.  Grief is not a sign of weakness or lack of faith.  It is God's gift to me to help me process my emotions.   Please be patient with me especially when grief at times causes me to feel unfocused.   More than anything else I need your understanding and prayers.  You don't always have to know what to say, or even have to say anything.  Your touch,  hugs, and assurances of prayer for me are wonderful.  Pray for me that I can come to see meaning in my loss once again one day.   Thank you for caring for me and praying for me.  It is a wonderful gift to me for which I am thankful.