Joy in the Midst of Heartaches

 

When our hearts are aching and circumstances around us are very difficult, is it possible to have joy?  For me personally, this past year or so has included some physical pain problems and also again some heartbreaking situations involving loved ones of mine.   If we properly understand the concept of joy, however, it truly is possible to have joy no matter what is transpiring in our lives. We can experience joy in the midst of heartbreak and right along side emotional and physical pain.  We need to remind ourselves that joy is not the same as happiness.  Happiness is based on perfect circumstances.  Joy is based on something much more profound.

Joy is only grounded in the Lord and not on our shifting and fickle emotions.  It is a gift of the Holy Spirit.  Yet we also need to be always pursuing it, because Satan's lies and our own emotions can so easily drag us down.  Personal heartaches and trials, loved one's illnesses and sorrows, and the conditions of the world around us can so easily discourage us.  We should feel sorrow and heartbreak over many things around us.  Yet our joy is found not in circumstances but in a Person, the Lord. Our joy is found in the character of the Lord.  He is always faithful and always loves His people with an eternal love.  He is also powerful to help us in our trials.

I remember in my younger years thinking that if I could just get through the next situation then everything would be good.  Yet there is always a new trial or challenge to face around the bend.  I remember the heartaches I felt while as his caregiver I watched my first husband slowly lose his battle against his neurological disease.  I remember the grief I felt when finally losing him in death.  I know the sadness I feel right now, as I watch my second husband decline.    Yet my God was and is always faithful, and He was and is always present.  The Lord is the definition of joy.  I need to remind myself that He is also the definition of joy in current struggles as well as past struggles.

Also it is important to remember that the more we grieve over our sins, the more joy we find as we turn to the Lord and realize all He has done for us.  Further, it is important to remember that as we experience heartaches and trials our capacity for joy increases.  These heartaches help us appreciate our remaining blessings.  These blessings for me can include something as simple as a beautiful flower or sunrise.  It can include helping others or laughter shared.  Heartaches themselves can be a blessing, because they help us see God sovereignly working in the midst of our trials and as a result of our trials.  This too adds joy to our lives.  It is a supernatural spiritual thing that only comes from the Holy Spirit.

I don't know about you, but sometimes I become so weary of the constant challenges and trials.  Yet without them I would not have to lean on the Lord so heavily.  Without them there would not be true joy.  Joy is a possession found only in the Lord.  Lord, help me always to remember that when I become discouraged.

Breast Cancer Awareness Month

 

(Following is a chapter from my book:  Dear Caregiver Reflections for Family Caregivers. My book was written and published after the death of my first husband, Wayne.  When I speak of my husband in this post I am refering to him.  This post details my experience with breast cancer  during the same appoximate time I was caring for him.)  

"Seeking to provide for my husband’s needs during my care-giving days could get emotionally heavy at times, but I feel my past experiences helped to prepare me somewhat for the care-giving challenges. One of these experiences actually coincided with the beginning stages of my care-giving days. That experience was my fight against breast cancer.

In July of 2007, about a year after my husband was diagnosed with his disease, I noticed a swelling in my right breast and under my arm. I was able to book an appointment with my physician’s assistant. She sent me for a mammogram and MRI the next day. A couple days later I received the devastating news that I did indeed have breast cancer and that the cancer had invaded my lymph nodes. The tumor in my breast was very large, and my doctor told me later that my lymph nodes were all gummed together.

A few days later I found myself at my oncologist’s office, and after a full body scan at the hospital I began chemo. I began chemo by the end of July of 2007. All together I had 8 chemo treatments in 3 week cycles, mastectomy surgery with all my lymph nodes under my arm removed, and 6 1/2 weeks of radiation daily. Side effects of chemo were fatigue, mild nausea sometimes, food tasting like cardboard, loss of all of my hair etc. Radiation caused some burning, but it was manageable. All treatment was completed in April of 2008!

During the time of my cancer treatments I had a host of people praying for me-even people across the ocean! We also had people from our church bringing in meals twice a week for a long time. I further had church people bringing me to all my chemo treatments and most of my radiation treatments. The medical people at my cancer care center were wonderful.

Cancer treatments would not be a time that I would want to go through again, but at the same time it was a time of blessing as well as hardship. It is hard to explain, but I became more free in my spirit and less concerned about other’s opinions as a result to this cancer experience. I experienced the love of other people, and most of all I experienced the love of my Lord and Savior in a new and fresh way. I learned dependence on the Lord God during those many months, and I grew in my faith. The Lord’s strength and His love to me demonstrated through others helped me through those months.

I still am miles away from having it altogether. Just perhaps, however, I will be able to face today and the days ahead with more of God’s strength, because of my cancer experience and my experiences with the heartaches of care-giving. The memory of those days will never go away. It has changed whom I am forever mostly for the good.

I know that there will always be problems in this life, but I am further certain that my Lord and Savior will be with me all through my life. I know He will give me the strength to handle anything I need to face in the future. Even in hard times God has promised to be with me and bless me and someday take me to live with Him eternally. Dear Christian caregiver, rest in Him."



(Look on the side of this home page for a link to the order page for my book on Amazon. The book is also available at Barnes and Noble and elsewhere online.  If you prefer a signed copy from me directly, just e-mail me at jesuschild674@gmail.com for specifics.)