No Regular Post This Week

There will be no regular post this week.  Use this week to reread older posts.  Since Monday is Memorial Day in the United States, I want to wish you all a blessed week-end.  For some of you this may be a difficult day, as you remember loved ones who have passed.  I remember my Dad who served in the Navy.  I also remember my, husband, Wayne, who was in the Army Reserves.  I further remember my brother who served in the Army but is still with us.  For those who have lost precious loved ones whether they were in the military or not (like me who lost my Mom just a few months ago) make it a day of thinking about the happy memories you have of your loved ones.

Lessons From my Vacuum Cleaner

Some time back I noticed that my vacuum cleaner was no longer picking up well.  I knew that my bag in my vacuum cleaner was probably full, and I knew that was the reason my vacuum cleaner was no longer working well.  For a few different reasons (none of them very good reasons) I put off changing the bag.  One of those reasons was that I had no replacement bags on hand, and I needed to go to the store to purchase some new bags.

When I finally replaced the bag in my vacuum cleaner it was indeed very full. There was dirt and lint even up into the hose part of my vacuum cleaner, which I had to clean out.  Before I bought and installed the new bag, I in essence was choosing to ignore the fact that a problem existed.  This, however, did not erase the fact that dirt was accumulating.  Hence, my vacuum cleaner was not fully functional.

The same can be true of life.  Is anything clogging your life, dear caregiver?  Are you allowing bitterness, impatience, or depression to clutter and clog up your life? The best way to prevent that from happening is by continual spiritual maintenance. You need to take the negative feelings which can sometimes crop up to the Lord in prayer.  You also need to spend time daily in God's Word searching for His promises.  You further need to find things each day for which you are thankful. Finally, trust and rest in the Lord.  Thankfulness and trust are the key to joy and peace.

On a purely emotional and physical level there are also some other things you should and can do.  Try very hard to get enough sleep each night.  Also take at least a part of each day for reprieve and to energize yourself.  Do something each day that you enjoy even if it only for a few minutes.  Finally, do not engage in second guessing yourself or false guilt in regards to your care of your loved one. You are an imperfect human being, but you are doing the best that you can,  Don't let your care-giving and other life circumstances clog you up emotionally, spiritually, or physically.  You are too precious in God's sight to do that to yourself, dear caregiver!

Pruning

In recognition of Mother’s day I have from time to time (including this year) received flowers. When we receive cut flowers we are told to cut an inch or so off the bottom of the stems and then put them in water with some plant food added. It is also a good idea to take off the outer petals.

This process of cutting the stems off the ends of cut flowers has never logically made sense to me. Neither has it ever made sense to me to cut vines and other plants way back. Pruning of vines is an even more drastic cutting back process than just cutting off the ends of the stems of cut flowers. In fact, when completed the vine branch can appear to be dead. This pruning is a necessary and a good thing to do, however. In fact, because the branch is attached to the vine; it can grow to be productive, new, and beautiful once again.

This is true also about the cutting or hurtful aspects and experiences of life. Care-giving can often become very challenging and overwhelming. It can be discouraging and hurt us emotionally at times, as we see our loved ones deteriorate in their health. Just as we may wonder why it is necessary for a plant to be cut way back, it often is puzzling to understand why we have to undergo the painfully cutting experiences of life.

Yet during my very difficult care-giving years and during my grief since my husband’s death over 6 years ago I know the Lord has been shaping my character and drawing me closer to him. He is also cutting away attitudes and fears that are not appropriate and making me more dependent on Him. Like cut flowers and like a branch on a vine which has been cut back, I can grow into something beautiful and productive because of this pruning in my life.  Just as cut flowers need plant food, I also have to feed on God's Word, however, for this to take place in my life.

The branch on a vine also cannot grow into something beautiful again, however, unless it is attached to the vine. So also I cannot grow into something beautiful unless I am attached to the Vine, the Lord Jesus. This is spoken of in John 15 in the Bible.

Dear Christian caregiver, the pruning that takes place in the difficult moments of care-giving and in life in general hurts. It is okay to acknowledge that it hurts. You are not alone, however, if you are attached to the Living Vine, Jesus Christ. You will be okay. Not only will you be okay, but you will flourish. Remind yourself of this when the dark moments sometimes come.

Different Kinds of Care-giving

Until Tuesday of last week I had my sister-in-law, my daughter-in-law, and my 6 month and now 7 month old grandson in my home for a few weeks.  It was joy to get to know and interact with my little grandson whom I previously had not seen since shortly after his birth. It was fun to see the new things he learned in just the few weeks he had been in my home. During that time he learned to roll over, to sit on his own and to move backwards. It is amazing how far a baby can move with just a combination of rolling and moving backwards.  He also learned a few new words.

Babies are so much fun, but the truth of the matter is that they also involve a lot of work and care-giving. They need constant care and attention   Also if they do not receive what they want on their timetable, they let you know it in no uncertain terms.  My little grandson will still sometimes waken his Mom in the middle of night demanding playtime or comfort. Babies are wonderful when they turn on their charm and flash you a special smile like my sweet little grandson does.  Yet they also require much attention and care.  Yet parents (and grandparents) willingly give them this attention because of their love for them.

So what is the difference between the sometimes demanding care we give babies and children and the care family caregivers give their loved ones who are experiencing some disease or disability?  There are many differences.  With a normally developing baby we see them learning new skills and vocabulary.  We are excited about these new developments in them.  When we care for a loved one with a disease, we may see steady declines in ability to function in this world. This can be a source of heart ache for those who are caring for them.  I know it was for me, as I watched my husband, Wayne, deteriorate step by step during those years that I was his caregiver.

There seems to be real purpose and joy in helping and watching babies and children reach their full potential and maturity.  It is perhaps more difficult to find purpose and joy in caring for a loved one who is declining in his or her health.  Yet family care-giving is the most important and significant job you may ever undertake, dear caregiver.  You are adding joy, comfort, and dignity to the last days of your loved one's life.  Who else can do that in the same way that you are doing it, dear caregiver? You are also showing to the world a picture of Christ-like sacrificial love.  Yes, you are doing that even on the days when you feel you are failing and running out of patience, dear caregiver.

If you are a child of God another thing you are doing is preparing your loved one for Eternity.  As I told you in a past post. I was able to spend the last few minutes of my Mom's life by her bedside.  I sang hymns to her, talked to her, and read Scripture to her.  Even though she did not noticeably respond, I believe I was helping prepare her for Eternity.  I guess when I was taking care of my husband as his caregiver, however, I never really thought of that care as preparing him for Eternity. Yet upon reflection that is exactly what I was doing.  It is exactly what you are doing as well, dear Christian caregiver.  Christian caregivers with their sacrificial love are preparing their loved ones to be handed over to the caring and loving hands of their Savior in God's perfect timing.  What could be more significant and important than that?  Thank you for all that you do, dear caregiver!

P.S.
Will you indulge me by letting me post a picture of my youngest grandson to which I referred in this post and also one of my husband and I in my husband's last months of his life?  How my husband would have loved to have met this little one.