(The following post is from a blog post that I published the last couple years. Once again, I pray that the Lord is blessing your Christmas with His love and comfort, dear caregiver.)
December is the month that we think of Christmas and hope. Dear caregiver, is your life weighed down with care and worry this Christmas season; or is it filled with hope? I remember my care-giving years during which I saw my husband continue to decline in his health step by step. It was tempting at such times to give up hope. Hope is something all of us can possess no matter how difficult our circumstances, however.
During the holiday season we are reminded of the birth of Jesus Christ. Over two thousand years ago before Jesus was born most of the people were living without very much hope. Then in Luke chapter two of the Bible we read that an angel appeared to Mary and told her that she was being blessed by God's grace in becoming the mother of Jesus. Jesus Christ was coming as the Savior of His people!
Mary's response to this was openhearted acceptance (Luke 1:38). Mary would suffer many immediate problems being the mother of Jesus. She would experience many heartaches in her future. Because Mary now had hope, however, she was willing to accept God's will for her life with joy. A life secure in the Lord's hope can move with confidence through life in spite of difficulties and challenges.
Life as a caregiver can be very heartbreaking and challenging. There are times when the circumstances of care-giving can be overwhelming. But like Mary in the Bible we too can have hope no matter what our circumstances. Dear caregiver rest your care-giving heartaches with the Lord. Know that He is the source of strength and hope. His hope is not a wishful thinking type of hope, but it is a hope based on His certain promises in the Bible. His hope is secure and will never leave you.
Saturday, December 24, 2016
Sunday, December 18, 2016
Wonderful Gifts
(I am bringing back today a post that I published in previous Decembers. I hope you are experiencing a blessed Christmas season, dear caregiver.)
What kind of Christmas do you anticipate this year, dear Christian caregiver? Perhaps your Christmas will involve a lot of extra work for you in addition to the challenges and responsibilities of care-giving, or perhaps you are feeling isolated and ignored and all alone this Christmas in your care-giving responsibilities. Instead, however perhaps you will experience Christmas this year as a reminder of your blessings and as a blessed respite from the drama of care-giving.
Whatever we experience this Christmas and with every gift we receive at Christmas or at any time of year we have to open our hands to receive the gift; or the gift does not benefit us or give us any joy. The gifts we receive which are eternally precious, however, are the gifts which God wants to give us.
The Lord first offers us the gift of salvation which is what Christmas and walking with the Lord is all about. He further offers us the accompanying gifts of joy, peace, and hope. They are ours for the taking; and yes, dear Christian caregiver, they can coexist with the pain and heartache which often are present in care-giving. Further, the Lord promises us a happy ending. That happy ending is eternal life. Christian caregiver, the heartaches that sometimes accompany care-giving are but a comma in your life story. They are not the end of your life’s story. They are not the end of your loved one’s life story for whom you are caring either.
We also can all receive other gifts. We can receive the gift of trust in God and letting Him control our lives. We receive this gift by resting in Him and by letting go of anything which we are holding onto too tightly or trying to control. As a former caregiver I know how much we want to stop the progress of our love one’s disease, but much of this is beyond our control.
We also all have to let go of feelings of unforgiveness for people who have not been there for us. We further have to receive the gift of forgiveness for ourselves We have to bring to the Lord any true wrongs, and ask for His forgiveness. Further, we often carry around a lot of false guilt about things beyond our control. So whether false guilt or true guilt we need to let it go. We need to give it to the Lord. Trust and letting go are great gifts to have in our lives. Caregivers often carry around a lot of guilt. Dear caregiver, receive the gift of releasing it to the Lord.
One great gift we can give ourselves is the gift of acceptance of our situation. We often waste so much energy wishing circumstances were different, but we can rest assured that we are right where we are supposed to be in our lives. Dear Christian caregiver, your responsibilities are emotionally overwhelming at times. I know that because I experienced it, but in the measure that you can accept where God has placed you now in your life you will find joy. It is a great gift you can give yourself.
Yet another wonderful gift we can give ourselves is the gift of being still in the presence of God. (Psalm 46:10) Doing this helps us grow in peace, wisdom, and insights. Finally, we can give ourselves the gift of gratitude. When we are grateful in spite of our circumstances our joy and blessings will multiply and resentments will flee.
Christian caregiver, you have many challenges and sometimes you experience much emotional upheaval as a caregiver of your loved one. Would not these be wonderful gifts to have in your life? These are wonderful gifts not just for Christmas but all year long!
What kind of Christmas do you anticipate this year, dear Christian caregiver? Perhaps your Christmas will involve a lot of extra work for you in addition to the challenges and responsibilities of care-giving, or perhaps you are feeling isolated and ignored and all alone this Christmas in your care-giving responsibilities. Instead, however perhaps you will experience Christmas this year as a reminder of your blessings and as a blessed respite from the drama of care-giving.
Whatever we experience this Christmas and with every gift we receive at Christmas or at any time of year we have to open our hands to receive the gift; or the gift does not benefit us or give us any joy. The gifts we receive which are eternally precious, however, are the gifts which God wants to give us.
The Lord first offers us the gift of salvation which is what Christmas and walking with the Lord is all about. He further offers us the accompanying gifts of joy, peace, and hope. They are ours for the taking; and yes, dear Christian caregiver, they can coexist with the pain and heartache which often are present in care-giving. Further, the Lord promises us a happy ending. That happy ending is eternal life. Christian caregiver, the heartaches that sometimes accompany care-giving are but a comma in your life story. They are not the end of your life’s story. They are not the end of your loved one’s life story for whom you are caring either.
We also can all receive other gifts. We can receive the gift of trust in God and letting Him control our lives. We receive this gift by resting in Him and by letting go of anything which we are holding onto too tightly or trying to control. As a former caregiver I know how much we want to stop the progress of our love one’s disease, but much of this is beyond our control.
We also all have to let go of feelings of unforgiveness for people who have not been there for us. We further have to receive the gift of forgiveness for ourselves We have to bring to the Lord any true wrongs, and ask for His forgiveness. Further, we often carry around a lot of false guilt about things beyond our control. So whether false guilt or true guilt we need to let it go. We need to give it to the Lord. Trust and letting go are great gifts to have in our lives. Caregivers often carry around a lot of guilt. Dear caregiver, receive the gift of releasing it to the Lord.
One great gift we can give ourselves is the gift of acceptance of our situation. We often waste so much energy wishing circumstances were different, but we can rest assured that we are right where we are supposed to be in our lives. Dear Christian caregiver, your responsibilities are emotionally overwhelming at times. I know that because I experienced it, but in the measure that you can accept where God has placed you now in your life you will find joy. It is a great gift you can give yourself.
Yet another wonderful gift we can give ourselves is the gift of being still in the presence of God. (Psalm 46:10) Doing this helps us grow in peace, wisdom, and insights. Finally, we can give ourselves the gift of gratitude. When we are grateful in spite of our circumstances our joy and blessings will multiply and resentments will flee.
Christian caregiver, you have many challenges and sometimes you experience much emotional upheaval as a caregiver of your loved one. Would not these be wonderful gifts to have in your life? These are wonderful gifts not just for Christmas but all year long!
Sunday, December 11, 2016
Would You Stay?
I recently found the below picture and inscription on my Facebook page. I copy/pasted it here. I hope you can see it on your screen like I can on mine. It is a picture of a wheelchair and says, "If your spouse became permanently disabled would you stay with them?"
My answer to that question for me is that through the grace of God I did do that very thing. My husband was diagnosed with a neurological disease in 2006 which became progressively worse until his death in early 2011. In the end we had to use a lift with him, and he was confined to a wheelchair. He was indeed permanently disabled during the last part of his life.
It would not have occurred to me to do anything else but stay with him and care for him. He had been my loving and faithful husband for many years. He was the love of my life. Also I had promised when I married him to be faithful to him and love him including "in sickness and in health." The challenges were difficult and heartbreaking during those last years of his life, but I would do it again.
Many of you are also caring for spouses or other loved ones either in your home or through a nursing home facility. If you are a spouse you are fulfilling your promise to God and your spouse that you made on your wedding day. You are also doing it because of the love in your heart. Many of you are also caring for loved ones who are not your spouses. You made no wedding vows to this person, but you are giving sacrificially of yourself for this person. Thank you, dear caregiver, for all that you do. It is not an easy road that you have chosen to tread, but it is a noble one. May the Lord bless, strengthen, and encourage you in the days ahead. For those who are not caregivers have you encouraged a caregiver recently?
My answer to that question for me is that through the grace of God I did do that very thing. My husband was diagnosed with a neurological disease in 2006 which became progressively worse until his death in early 2011. In the end we had to use a lift with him, and he was confined to a wheelchair. He was indeed permanently disabled during the last part of his life.
It would not have occurred to me to do anything else but stay with him and care for him. He had been my loving and faithful husband for many years. He was the love of my life. Also I had promised when I married him to be faithful to him and love him including "in sickness and in health." The challenges were difficult and heartbreaking during those last years of his life, but I would do it again.
Many of you are also caring for spouses or other loved ones either in your home or through a nursing home facility. If you are a spouse you are fulfilling your promise to God and your spouse that you made on your wedding day. You are also doing it because of the love in your heart. Many of you are also caring for loved ones who are not your spouses. You made no wedding vows to this person, but you are giving sacrificially of yourself for this person. Thank you, dear caregiver, for all that you do. It is not an easy road that you have chosen to tread, but it is a noble one. May the Lord bless, strengthen, and encourage you in the days ahead. For those who are not caregivers have you encouraged a caregiver recently?
Friday, December 2, 2016
Reliance on God
(The following blog post is another chapter from my book, Dear Caregiver subtitled Reflections for Family Caregivers)
Perhaps you have heard the popular saying, “God never gives us more than we can handle.” When I was a family caregiver, however, I discovered that I often felt overwhelmed and felt that God had given me much more than I could handle. I experienced these feelings even more strongly with each new decline in my husband’s disease, especially during the last months of my husband’s life when I could no longer physically take care of him on my own.
The truth is God never promised to NOT give us more trials and difficulties than we can handle on our OWN. In fact God often gives us much more struggles than we can handle. God does this, so that our eyes will be open to how desperate we are for Him and for His help and provision.
Rather than striving to be more self-reliant we need to seek to become more God-reliant. As a caregiver I learned that I just did not have the resources in myself to handle the challenges and heartaches of care-giving on my own, so I absolutely had no choice but to rely on the Lord.
As a caregiver I also learned that I had to have help from others. I learned that God sometimes used others to help me. They became His instruments in helping me and in His kingdom. I needed to begin to root out my desire to be in control. The truth was I never was in control of anything. God was in control, and I needed to learn to rely and trust in Him.
Dear Christian Caregiver, what change would it make in your outlook towards your caregiving challenges and struggles, if you saw them as valued lessons in learning dependence on God? When you are at the absolute end of you own spiritual, physical, and emotional resources you can then begin to more fully depend on God’s resources. (Check out II Corinthians 1:8-9!) Total reliance on God is a good place to be!
(As stated above this post is another chapter in my book Dear Caregiver subtitled Reflections for Family Caregivers. You can purchase it at Amazon. The link to the order page on Amazon for my book is here: https://www.amazon.com/Dear-Caregiver-Sharon-Vander-Waal/dp/1629524263/ref=sr_1_1_twi_pap_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1478454680&sr=1-1&keywords=Dear+Caregiver You can purchase both a hard copy or Kindle version to my book there. My book is also available at Barnes and Noble where you can purchase a hard copy or Nook version. Finally, I have seen my book available elsewhere online as well, or you can purchase one directly from me by sending me an e-mail at Jesuschild54@hotmail.com. and ask me for specifics. It would make wonderful Christmas present for yourself or someone you love.)
Perhaps you have heard the popular saying, “God never gives us more than we can handle.” When I was a family caregiver, however, I discovered that I often felt overwhelmed and felt that God had given me much more than I could handle. I experienced these feelings even more strongly with each new decline in my husband’s disease, especially during the last months of my husband’s life when I could no longer physically take care of him on my own.
The truth is God never promised to NOT give us more trials and difficulties than we can handle on our OWN. In fact God often gives us much more struggles than we can handle. God does this, so that our eyes will be open to how desperate we are for Him and for His help and provision.
Rather than striving to be more self-reliant we need to seek to become more God-reliant. As a caregiver I learned that I just did not have the resources in myself to handle the challenges and heartaches of care-giving on my own, so I absolutely had no choice but to rely on the Lord.
As a caregiver I also learned that I had to have help from others. I learned that God sometimes used others to help me. They became His instruments in helping me and in His kingdom. I needed to begin to root out my desire to be in control. The truth was I never was in control of anything. God was in control, and I needed to learn to rely and trust in Him.
Dear Christian Caregiver, what change would it make in your outlook towards your caregiving challenges and struggles, if you saw them as valued lessons in learning dependence on God? When you are at the absolute end of you own spiritual, physical, and emotional resources you can then begin to more fully depend on God’s resources. (Check out II Corinthians 1:8-9!) Total reliance on God is a good place to be!
(As stated above this post is another chapter in my book Dear Caregiver subtitled Reflections for Family Caregivers. You can purchase it at Amazon. The link to the order page on Amazon for my book is here: https://www.amazon.com/Dear-Caregiver-Sharon-Vander-Waal/dp/1629524263/ref=sr_1_1_twi_pap_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1478454680&sr=1-1&keywords=Dear+Caregiver You can purchase both a hard copy or Kindle version to my book there. My book is also available at Barnes and Noble where you can purchase a hard copy or Nook version. Finally, I have seen my book available elsewhere online as well, or you can purchase one directly from me by sending me an e-mail at Jesuschild54@hotmail.com. and ask me for specifics. It would make wonderful Christmas present for yourself or someone you love.)
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