Family care-givers are notorious for engaging in false guilt and finding a way to blame themselves for every decline of their loved one. The truth is that we are not God. We can't control all the declines of our loved ones. The only thing we can do is to seek to be a tool in the Lord's hands providing the best possible care we know how to give to our loved ones. We are weak human beings, however, and in the end, only God is in control.
I recently read a post online about the second guessing caregivers do regarding the care that they give or gave to their loved ones. They tend to engage in the "should haves" and "if onlys" of situations that are out of their control. The post I mentioned earlier in this paragraph talks about some of these very things and suggests that the caregiver write a letter to themselves reminding themselves of the truths of their care-giving situation. The link to this post is below. Just click on the link below to read it. It is a good article for anyone who is a caregiver now or who was one in the past.