Control and the Caregiver

Caregivers, by their nature, tend to be planners and well-organized. They have taken on responsibility for the care of another human being who needs their help. They also often have to be advocates for their loved ones, and they often have to fight through the “red tape” of government rules and the medical profession. Hence, as a caregiver there is a tendency to feel that one always has to be in control. In the end, however, none of us are in ultimate control. Only God is in control. We are mere instruments in His hands. 

As a caregiver, I too often felt as if I had to keep things under control. Deep in my heart I knew, however, that I needed to release these things to the Lord. Care-giving was too overwhelming to try to try to “keep all the balls in the air” under my own power.  In the summer of 2009, while I was in the midst of my care-giving days for my husband, I wrote the following thoughts: 

 
I am enjoying my Wed. night women’s Bible studies so much. They apply so much to what I am going through in this whole care-giving scenario. One thing we talked about last Wed. night was that our attempts to grip so tightly to our plans and our control of things are pointless.
       
Our control of things is really an illusion. God is the One who is in control. So all we have to do is rest in God where He has placed us and experience the freedom of following Him. Where He has placed me in life as a caregiver is not always easy. I am trying to continually remind myself, however, that I could have less feelings of stress if I would always completely rest everything with God. I have so many things that need my attention in the next weeks, and it is difficult attending to these things on my own when I was accustomed to my husband taking care of many of these kinds of things. I am not alone, however; God will direct me as He has in the past. Now, to keep remembering that! 

 
     Dear Christian caregiver, care-giving is probably the most difficult job you have ever experienced. It can be physically, emotionally, and spiritually overwhelming at times. Trust that the Lord God is in control of it all. He will guide you. Remembering that will lighten the load. 

(This post is taken from a chapter from my book Dear Caregiver Reflections for Family Caregivers.  A link to the order page for my book can be found on the right hand side of this page.  If you are receiving this post by e-mail click the Christian Care-giving link to get to the home page of my blog.)