By late September of 2010 a few months before his death things were definitely changing with my husband, Wayne. Transfers for my husband to the bathroom, back to the chair etc. were getting more difficult, and I found myself becoming increasingly stressed. I found myself dreading and consumed with thinking about the next transfer. I also kept wondering what my next step needed to be. Keep doing it myself? Try to hire more in home help? Pursue nursing home options?
Then one night my son came over. He was all stressed out because of a serious job issue. He was basically in panic mode. It was a serious situation, as his job might be on the line. My first reaction was to think, “I do not need this. I have enough stress of my own.”
Then, however, I found I could relate to him and thus calm him down. I told him about my heavy stress level and how we just needed to trust. I told him that nothing happens by chance, and we are being guided. I also told him that what will be will be, and that we will be okay. I asked him if he had prayed about it, and he said “Yes.” He then asked me to pray for him. I did that, and we both felt better. I do not think I could have helped him as much, if I was not as stressed as he was. I could relate to him, and therefore what I said to him had validity. It helped both of us.
This whole incident reminded me that everything has a purpose even the difficulties of caregiving. Because of the stress I was experiencing with caregiving I could help my son. We also shared a prayer and a hug together. That was a special blessing in spite of the situation we both were in. What could be more beautiful than that?
Hope reminded me that I really did not have to be in a state of panic. I would be guided step by step. Hope told me that caregiving would never be easy, but there was an eternal purpose to it all. God’s purpose would be fulfilled in me, and His love was with me. Hope told me that what I did in caregiving was important, and it had eternal consequences. Hope told me that the trials of caregiving was forming my character to become stronger. It reminded me to not focus on what I saw but on what would be and on what was good in my life right then. Hope I realized focuses on seeing the small miracles of each day and knowing and trusting they will continue.