Remembering

At times the heartaches of caregiving can cause caregivers to temporarily forget the memories of the good times that they have had with their loved ones before their loved ones became ill. Caregivers can become so consumed with the challenges of fighting the declines in health evident in their loved ones that the good relationships and past good memories of their interactions with their loved ones gets pushed to the back of their minds.

At one point during my husband’s illness I retrieved from their storage space our old love letters that we had sent to each other while dating. I spent an enjoyable period of time that day rereading those letters. It was so refreshing and a real spirit lifter. It helped to give me some perspective on things that day.

Since my husband’s death I have begun to write down some special memories of our lives together. I have written about some special trips we took. I have written about how I enjoyed hiking trails with him from time to time. I have written about our excitement over the birth of our children and grandchildren. I have also written about what I loved and admired about him. Perhaps, these memories will also help me, as I mourn the first anniversary of his death today.

Dear Christian caregiver, perhaps you loved one’s illness prevents you from doing some of the things you used to love doing together. Perhaps the illness even in many ways has seemed to change your loved one’s personality and quality of interactions with you. Perhaps, however, remembering those good times and thinking about what you always loved and admired about your loved one would help you to get through the very challenging days of caregiving.