Letting Go

Often caregiving for a terminally ill loved one can become so overwhelming that it can stir up all kinds of negative emotions. I think this is also true of any difficult or heartbreaking life challenge.

I was a caregiver for my husband for about four and a half years. By the fall of 2010 my husband’s disease had progressed to the point that he was pretty much dependent on me for everything. At that time I found myself becoming increasingly stressed. By God’s grace through the extra help of my son and a lift we were able to navigate through that period of time. Little did I know at that time that just a few months later on January 2, 2011 my husband would pass into eternity.

In November of 2010 I was challenged to write about my thoughts on the idea of letting going. Below are the words that I scribed at that time:
“I want to let go of fear for the future. My husband’s health is declining, and there have been significant changes lately. It is easy to fear the future, but I want to let go of fear, and I want to just trust. I want to let go of fear and replace it with trust, faith, and peace. I also want to let go of the daily stress or any form of self-pity I feel and just take a more peaceful attitude about the events of the day. I want to approach them calmly step by step.

I want to let go of “what ifs” and “oh nos” from my thinking. I want to let go of how I wish things were in my life, and I want to truly accept things as they are. I want to let go of both the expectations I have in my life of myself and the perceived expectations I think others have of me. I also want to let go of the expectations I have of others. I want to let go and watch God work.”

Dear Christian caregiver, what negative emotions do you need to work on releasing? Releasing them will add to your peace and even joy.