This year I am very thankful for many things. One of them is my marriage to my new husband, Bob on July 13th. This was after many years of watching my first husband, Wayne, deteriorate in his health and then eight years of being a widow. I am thankful also this year for the beginning of a restored relationship with a loved one. Yet for many of you the holidays can be a discouraging time, if you or your family are going through difficult circumstances. It may be difficult to find things for which to be thankful in such a scenario.
Yet a thankful heart opens up blessings from heaven and foretastes of heaven that cannot be attained in any other way. A thankful heart further revives hope and allows us to communicate on a more intimate level with the Lord. A thankful heart does not deny the reality of life's challenges, and life certainly presents a host of problems and heartaches. A thankful heart does, however, recognize the Lord's presence and joy in the midst of those problems.
So perhaps the best place to start is to thank the Lord each day for His presence and peace. Also as you go through the day look for even the Lord's tiny treasures which He has placed on your path. Look with spiritual eyes for His wonders in your life. I have mentioned this before but I remember as a caregiver being challenged to write down each day at least three things for which I was thankful that day. That helped me immensely in persevering in the care-giving role.
It is said that a thankful heart takes the sting out of trials and adversity, Life often facilitates many challenges and trials. Yet we are commanded in the Bible to give thanks in everything. We may not always FEEL like giving thanks, but when we offer a SACRIFICE of thanks in spite of our feelings or circumstances, God gives us joy in spite of our circumstances.
That does not mean we always feel happy. Happiness and joy are not the same thing, but joy in the Lord and grief can coexist. It may seem nonsensical to thank God in and for difficult circumstances. Yet in the measure that we do so we will be blessed, even though the adversities may remain. Thank the Lord today for His blessings!
In the United States we are celebrating Thanksgiving Day this week. It is a day when we especially try to remember to thank and praise God for the blessings of the past year. Life is often challenging and difficult. Yet there are many blessings in our lives even in the most difficult of moments, Thank the Lord for your blessings daily and not just on special occasions. It will lift your burdens and add joy to your life.
Sunday, November 24, 2019
Saturday, November 16, 2019
Though None Go With Me
Are you ever puzzled with God's plan for your life especially during difficult moments? Do you ever wonder why a sovereign, all-powerful, and loving God allows hardships and grief in our lives? Recently my new husband, Bob, and I watched a powerful and thought provoking DVD that I have in my possession called, "Through None Go With Me." This movie addresses some of these questions. The movie is also based on a song with that same title.
In this movie the main character, Elizabeth, went through a series of heartbreaking circumstances that could have destroyed her faith. In her young adulthood she had vowed to always follow Jesus no matter where He lead. Yet in the course of her life she lost her first love, her father died unexpectedly, and her son and his wife were killed in a car accident. Later her husband, Will, developed dementia, and she eventually lost him to death.
Perhaps you are questioning why God has allowed certain trials and hardships in your life. We all face deep trials and hardships at times. There is no easy answer to this question, but we can know that God is a wise God, and He sometimes allows and appoints suffering in our lives both for our good and to encourage others. When we trust God in times of hardship God is glorified and others are encouraged in their faith. Elizabeth, in the movie to which I referred, was able to better serve and help others because of her suffering. She was able to relate to others better and thus help them in a more productive and loving way.
Suffering helps us run to God more quickly and can help us to love Him and His Word, the Bible, more intensely. His promises in His Word can become very precious to us during those times Throughout the years that I was my first husband's caregiver, saw him deteriorate step by step. and then die; I clung very tightly to God and His Word. I also did so when fighting breast cancer some years back.. During times like these we can say to God, "---in faithfulness You have afflicted me." (Psalm 119:75) In times like these we can see that God is good.
During times of hardship we also learn patience and humility. We further ironically grow in our joy. Joy increases in times of trial when we respond to trials with submission. This is because we learn during these times that only Jesus is our ultimate joy.
What is your heartache or hardship today? Run to Jesus. Remember and make the words of the song mentioned above be your theme for life. "I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back, no turning back. Through none go with me, still I will follow, no turning back, no turning back." Then yet another song flows through my mind. It is a song sung at my wedding to my new husband, Bob, four months ago. That song says, "Through it all I've learn to trust in Jesus. I've learn to trust in God. Through it all I've learn to depend upon His Word."
Here is a link to the song, Though None Go With Me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mG-Pvqv2PHs
And here is the link to the song, "Through It All": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcE9-AngoeM
In this movie the main character, Elizabeth, went through a series of heartbreaking circumstances that could have destroyed her faith. In her young adulthood she had vowed to always follow Jesus no matter where He lead. Yet in the course of her life she lost her first love, her father died unexpectedly, and her son and his wife were killed in a car accident. Later her husband, Will, developed dementia, and she eventually lost him to death.
Perhaps you are questioning why God has allowed certain trials and hardships in your life. We all face deep trials and hardships at times. There is no easy answer to this question, but we can know that God is a wise God, and He sometimes allows and appoints suffering in our lives both for our good and to encourage others. When we trust God in times of hardship God is glorified and others are encouraged in their faith. Elizabeth, in the movie to which I referred, was able to better serve and help others because of her suffering. She was able to relate to others better and thus help them in a more productive and loving way.
Suffering helps us run to God more quickly and can help us to love Him and His Word, the Bible, more intensely. His promises in His Word can become very precious to us during those times Throughout the years that I was my first husband's caregiver, saw him deteriorate step by step. and then die; I clung very tightly to God and His Word. I also did so when fighting breast cancer some years back.. During times like these we can say to God, "---in faithfulness You have afflicted me." (Psalm 119:75) In times like these we can see that God is good.
During times of hardship we also learn patience and humility. We further ironically grow in our joy. Joy increases in times of trial when we respond to trials with submission. This is because we learn during these times that only Jesus is our ultimate joy.
What is your heartache or hardship today? Run to Jesus. Remember and make the words of the song mentioned above be your theme for life. "I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back, no turning back. Through none go with me, still I will follow, no turning back, no turning back." Then yet another song flows through my mind. It is a song sung at my wedding to my new husband, Bob, four months ago. That song says, "Through it all I've learn to trust in Jesus. I've learn to trust in God. Through it all I've learn to depend upon His Word."
Here is a link to the song, Though None Go With Me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mG-Pvqv2PHs
And here is the link to the song, "Through It All": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcE9-AngoeM
Sunday, November 10, 2019
Things You Should Never Say to a Caregiver
Sometimes people can say some rather insensitive things to family caregivers. They may be trying to be helpful to the caregiver. Because they have never experienced the heartache of caring for a loved one who is deteriorating in health, however, these comments may not only be not helpful but also hurtful to the caregiver. Recently I ran across an article which talks about some things one should never say to a family caregiver. This article also detailed ways that caregivers can respond to insensitive comments of others. So this article is helpful to both current family caregivers and the other people who love them and are concerned about them. Click on the link below to read the article.
https://www.agingcare.com/Articles/things-not-to-say-to-a-caregiver-152083.htm?fb_action_ids=216494425185728&fb_action_types=og.likes&fb_ref=.UknrvHTgXLM.like&fbclid=IwAR1-eqsJR9
https://www.agingcare.com/Articles/things-not-to-say-to-a-caregiver-152083.htm?fb_action_ids=216494425185728&fb_action_types=og.likes&fb_ref=.UknrvHTgXLM.like&fbclid=IwAR1-eqsJR9
Sunday, November 3, 2019
Dumping
Have you known someone who likes to dump their frustrations on other people through unkind words or actions? This was NOT true of my first husband, Wayne, and also is Not true of my new husband, Bob. Wayne must have experienced much frustration; as he watched his body deteriorate step by step. Yet whatever frustration he may have experienced, he did not use that as an excuse to dump on me. Although lethargic at times, he was kind and gentle in his interactions with me to the end of his life.
This is not true of all care-giving situations, however. Because of my interest in family care-giving, I have heard of situations where the loved one will dump on the very ones who are caring for them. In some case this is caused by dementia. The person is frightened by the changes that are going on in their bodies and/or minds and take it out on the people who loves them most.
Whether it is a care-giving situation, or another situation altogether; anger, hostility, or unjust criticism often is an overflow of that person's own hurt. Their harshness is often due to their own insecurities, fears, and desperation for love; and it may have little to do with the person to whom it is directed.
It is difficult to accept this kind of angry words and actions. Although I did not experience this in my former care-giving situation, I have experienced this kind of anger directed towards me in my life. I am sure we all have from time to time. If we think about the vulnerability of the other individual and remember that the person's anger has to do with their own hurts and disappointments and very little to do with us, however, perhaps we can deal with the situation with a more Christ-like understanding and attitude.
This is not true of all care-giving situations, however. Because of my interest in family care-giving, I have heard of situations where the loved one will dump on the very ones who are caring for them. In some case this is caused by dementia. The person is frightened by the changes that are going on in their bodies and/or minds and take it out on the people who loves them most.
Whether it is a care-giving situation, or another situation altogether; anger, hostility, or unjust criticism often is an overflow of that person's own hurt. Their harshness is often due to their own insecurities, fears, and desperation for love; and it may have little to do with the person to whom it is directed.
It is difficult to accept this kind of angry words and actions. Although I did not experience this in my former care-giving situation, I have experienced this kind of anger directed towards me in my life. I am sure we all have from time to time. If we think about the vulnerability of the other individual and remember that the person's anger has to do with their own hurts and disappointments and very little to do with us, however, perhaps we can deal with the situation with a more Christ-like understanding and attitude.
Saturday, October 26, 2019
Do Not Live in Fear
(This post is again a chapter from my book, Dear Caregiver Reflections for Family Caregivers
Care-giving and watching my husband decline in his health and then his death in January of 2011 has been one of my life’s most difficult tests. Knowing I could trust that God loved me and was in control in the midst of the confusion and grief of it all made and continues to make all the difference in the world.
God is sovereign and in control. Nothing happens to a Christian caregiver or his or her loved one that is not filtered through His love. This is true even in the heartbreaking events which often accompany care-giving and sometimes their death. This is a difficult truth to accept. When this truth is accepted, however, it a soft place to land when one is overwhelmed with life’s difficulties.
God is good. Circumstances may be bad, but God is good. God is the very definition and essence of goodness. He proved that by sending His son on the cross. He can help caregivers who are struggling to keep emotional and spiritual equilibrium in the midst of the heartaches of seeing their loved ones decline in their health. He can also slowly emotionally heal caregivers, when and if their loved ones are not healed on this earth.
Joy can coexist in the midst of the heartaches and grief that often accompany care-giving and possibly losing our loved ones. This is because joy is not based on circumstances which are favorable or perfect. Rather it is based on a relationship with the Lord. If the Lord takes your loved one to Himself sooner than you would like, dear caregiver, He will be with you each step of the way then also. There is deep hurt and grief in the loss of a love one. It involves a process that takes much time and deep crying out to the Lord and depending on Him. There is a scar that never goes completely away. Yet, the Lord's faithfulness will be with you all the way, and the joy of the Lord will return. Do not live in fear of the future, dear Christian caregiver. Never forget that the Lord loves you, and He is good. He is in control.
(This post as stated above is a chapter from my book. It is in fact the last chapter of my book. In this blog I have often written new posts. I also sometimes have included chapters from my book, as I did today. If you are a family caregiver consider ordering my book. If you know a family caregiver consider ordering my book for them. Below is the link to ordering my book from Amazon. Even though it says only one in stock, it should work for you to order there. It will only take a day or two longer. My book is also available through Barnes and Noble and elsewhere on the internet. You can further get a book directly from me by contacting me at jesuschild54@hotmail.com and asking me for specifics.)
Care-giving and watching my husband decline in his health and then his death in January of 2011 has been one of my life’s most difficult tests. Knowing I could trust that God loved me and was in control in the midst of the confusion and grief of it all made and continues to make all the difference in the world.
God is sovereign and in control. Nothing happens to a Christian caregiver or his or her loved one that is not filtered through His love. This is true even in the heartbreaking events which often accompany care-giving and sometimes their death. This is a difficult truth to accept. When this truth is accepted, however, it a soft place to land when one is overwhelmed with life’s difficulties.
God is good. Circumstances may be bad, but God is good. God is the very definition and essence of goodness. He proved that by sending His son on the cross. He can help caregivers who are struggling to keep emotional and spiritual equilibrium in the midst of the heartaches of seeing their loved ones decline in their health. He can also slowly emotionally heal caregivers, when and if their loved ones are not healed on this earth.
Joy can coexist in the midst of the heartaches and grief that often accompany care-giving and possibly losing our loved ones. This is because joy is not based on circumstances which are favorable or perfect. Rather it is based on a relationship with the Lord. If the Lord takes your loved one to Himself sooner than you would like, dear caregiver, He will be with you each step of the way then also. There is deep hurt and grief in the loss of a love one. It involves a process that takes much time and deep crying out to the Lord and depending on Him. There is a scar that never goes completely away. Yet, the Lord's faithfulness will be with you all the way, and the joy of the Lord will return. Do not live in fear of the future, dear Christian caregiver. Never forget that the Lord loves you, and He is good. He is in control.
Sunday, October 20, 2019
Hospice Care
When is Hospice Care appropriate for your loved one? When I was a caregiver for my first husband, Wayne, I did not use Hospice Care. I now see that as a mistake. Both the person who is caring for a loved one with a serious illness and the person who is ill can gain much valuable help through Hospice. Click on the article below to learn the value of Hospice.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/national/health-science/waiting-too-long-to-use-hospice-care-can-make-suffering-at-end-of-life-worse/2017/12/08/a55f6c3e-c3c6-11e7-aae0-cb18a8c29c65
https://www.washingtonpost.com/national/health-science/waiting-too-long-to-use-hospice-care-can-make-suffering-at-end-of-life-worse/2017/12/08/a55f6c3e-c3c6-11e7-aae0-cb18a8c29c65
Sunday, October 13, 2019
The Lord Delights in You
The Lord has shown His love for me and His delight in me in many ways through the years. I love the reference in the Bible of Jesus being the Rose of Sharon. Sharon is the name of a place in the Bible. Yet because my name is Sharon, I love to think of Jesus as being my Rose-my source of beauty, comfort, and love. Sometimes the path the Lord has taken me on has been extremely difficult and sometimes it has been pleasant. Yet through it all God's assurance of His love and delight in me has been the assurance I needed. No matter what may be transpiring in your life right now, remember that Jesus is your Rose. He loves you and delights in you as His child.
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